Ballers

I want this Vegas stadium on a par with Jerry's World.

Wait up, now. You think you'd want us outdoing AT&T Stadium?

Growth is what's best for the league.

We couldn't agree more.

We need to go on the offensive and expand our territory,

create monuments that go beyond football

and show working-class families a great time.

While also appealing to those with deep pockets.

Imagine... a gourmet food court

featuring the world's greatest chefs,

craft cocktail bars, luxury boxes

suspended over the stadium and field, and...

Wow! Right?

I gotta tell you, I talked to the Raiders, and they're open for business.

They're ready.

Owners' meeting is around the corner.

I'll just load the fellas up on Johnnie Blue and push this thing through.

It takes three quarters, right?

Yeah. Do you think you can get that?

- Hell, son, I might get all four. - Ho-ho!

What about you, Bret?

What are you bringing to the party?

- Well, as Spencer just said... - We know what Spencer said.

We just wanna know what you're bringing.

Wayne, together, we are gonna bring the Raiders.

- Oh. - Yeah.

Come on, man.

And how many conversations has Bret had with the Raiders?

When you're ready, gentlemen.

I play golf with the owner.

This one's on the house.

You guys really showed us something tonight.

- I got a tingle in my pants. - Ah.

Surprisingly, that's a good thing.

There's a lot of big ideas floating around,

but I really think we should drill down on something solid.

Sure.

Yeah, this thing's gonna cost a fortune.

So, Wayne, what are you thinking about kicking in to get the ball rolling?

Let's see.

I've got a number in my head.

It's round...

like...

a zero.

I could've sworn you said, "Like a zero."

Yeah.

- Like, a lot of zeros? - No.

Just one big, fat fucking zero.

I've had a long week.

I'm not in the mood for this shit, Wayne. Come on.

I'm not gonna spend my money

when someone else would be stupid enough to spend theirs.

You just accused Anderson of bringing nothing to the table and...

He brings the Hastings brand,

which is far more valuable than dollars.

She's right. After all, I am the city of Las Vegas.

Hey!

Aw, come on.

Great.

Well, we still got no land and no money.

I'm starting to really fucking hate that guy.

- Ugh. - Spencer!

Shit.

Candace.

What a coincidence.

Was that, uh, Wayne Hastings?

Yeah. Do you know him?

Just by reputation.

I'm Joe. Hi.

Candace Brewer with the league office.

- Oh, charmed. - Gotta get inside.

I have a meet with the Cowboys' brass.

My liver is already seizing up.

- You two have a good night. - Okay.

What does he want now?

I gotta go in early

and recalculate the salary cap again.

- You just got home an hour ago. - It's Siefert.

He's pissed off me and Berg agree about Kisan Teague.

- He won't let it go. - You have to get them on the same page.

I've been trying to for weeks.

You got any fresh ideas, let's hear them.

How about we invite them over for a home-cooked meal?

- A dinner party? - Yeah. I can make my famous brisket.

We'll fill their bellies, get them tanked,

give them a couple of laughs.

Then, when their defenses are down,

you can make them see eye to eye.

I don't know, baby.

Ego-driven men are easy to sway.

- Oh, you think, huh? - Uh-huh.

- Like right now. - Mm.

If I told you I bought those Gucci heels on Zappos this morning,

you probably wouldn't even have a problem with it.

I ain't got no problem, baby.

I mean, a lady gotta have her footwear, right?

Wait a minute.

Are you suggesting that I jack these men off?

What?

Mm.

Well, good evening, ladies. How may I help you?

We're here about the mites.

You know, I don't know. There must be some mistake.

I don't have mites.

We think you might.

Hi, I'm Justine.

Hi, I'm Susan.

- What's your name? - Joe, Joseph Krutel.

Oh, hi.

This is the most fucked-up thing I've ever seen.

What?

Wow!

These feel so real.

Technology!

Oh, God. Come here, come here.

- I'm not done yet. - You're not done?

Okay.

Come up here. Fuck me.

Come here.

I'm so dehydrated.

Too much salt.

Too much... excuse me?

No, no, no. Not you, the steak.

- Yeah. - The steak? Okay.

- How about no more talking? - Okay.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

I gotta pee.

Yeah. You don't go anywhere,

'cause big daddy's gonna be right back.

I thought you said you were dehydrated.

Hey, buddy.

Come on, Spency.

You're a sexy motherfucker.

You know what you're gonna do?

You're gonna go back in there

and you're gonna get your fuck on.

Let's do this.

- All good in Tinkle Town? - We are good to go.

Here I fucking come, all right?

What the fuck went wrong tonight?

You're asking me now?

Yeah, yeah. I know, it's fucked up.

I gotta ask you now. I can't get it off my fucking mind.

Tell me.

Well, to be honest, I haven't seen Wayne

this stoked on a project in a long time.

He's bought in.

There's three guys worth nearly $5 billion

and no one wants to write a fucking check?

Yeah, that's classic Wayne.

I don't think he's spent a dollar of his cash

in the last five projects we've done together.

Mm-hmm. You travel with him a lot?

- On big jobs. - Uh-huh.

Right, like he really needs the extra support from you.

No, it's because I blow him on his private jet.

Fuck, I wasn't saying that. Jesus...

Come to think of it, that's the only reason why I have the job.

Chloe, God, take it easy. What the fuck?

Well, then don't deflect your shit on me and Wayne.

I'm not.

I'm just saying you're amazing and you're beautiful.

Who wouldn't want to sleep with you?

That is a good fucking question, Spencer.

Hey, Rick.

I wanted to punch my fair share of shitty teenagers, man,

but I never followed through.

It's called restraint.

That kid scared the hell out of me, Spence.

- Never scare a brother. - You're lucky they didn't press charges.

Well, me and the parents are cool.

Once the cops got ahold of the family, we straightened it all out.

I'm gonna fly the family to Foxborough for the Dolphins game.

What the fuck were you doing in the neighbors' house, anyway?

Man, I got a lot on my mind, Spence.

Okay.

Baby mama took off when I tried to step up.

No new fucking deal, right?

And my teammates freezing me out, so what the...

Dropping $2 million at the craps table in Vegas.

Vegas. You're the one who brought me to Vegas.

Yeah, to duck your problems, man, not make them worse.

Didn't work out so hot, did it?

You might wanna reconsider moving the franchise there.

Hey, that deal's gonna get your five million back.

Is it really worth ripping the team away from Oakland?

Especially now that they're competitive

for the first time in, like, forever?

Some might question where your priorities lie.

I was in an epic session with my girl when you called me.

She was begging me not to leave, but I'm here.

For you.

How epic?

Epic.

Look, man... look, I'm... I appreciate you coming down.

You're always there for me, all right?

Don't sweat the debt. I know you're good for it.

Damn right I am. Come on.

Had my buddy Todd, here, mock us up a simulation.

How'd that one I sent you yesterday work out?