Joe Versus the Volcano

Man: I KNOW HE CAN GET THE JOB,

BUT CAN HE DO THE JOB?

HARRY...

YEAH, HARRY, BUT--

BUT CAN HE DO THE JOB?

I KNOW HE CAN GET THE JOB,

BUT CAN HE DO THE JOB?

I'M NOT ARGUING THAT WITH YOU.

I'M NOT ARGUING THAT WITH YOU.

I'M NOT ARGUING THAT WITH YOU!

I'M NOT ARGUING THAT WITH YOU, HARRY!

HARRY, HARRY...

YEAH, HARRY, BUT CAN HE DO THE JOB?

I KNOW HE CAN GET THE JOB,

BUT CAN HE DO THE JOB?

I'M NOT ARGUING THAT WITH YOU.

HARRY, I AM NOT ARGUING THAT WITH YOU.

WHO SAID THAT?

I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

IF I SAID THAT, I WOULD'VE BEEN WRONG.

MAYBE.

MAYBE.

I'M NOT ARGUING THAT WITH YOU!

YEAH, HARRY,

I KNOW HE CAN GET THE JOB,

BUT CAN HE DO THE JOB?

I'M NOT ARGUING THAT WITH YOU.

I AM NOT ARGUING THAT WITH YOU.

I AM NOT ARGUING THAT WITH YOU!

WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

NO! I TOLD YOU THAT.

ME.

WHAT?

MAYBE.

MAYBE. MAYBE.

MAYBE!

[FLUORESCENT LIGHTS BUZZING INTERMITTENTLY]

[MUSICAL LAMP PLAYS SOOTHING TUNE]

OH, GOOD MORNING, DEDE.

HI, JOE.

WHAT'S WITH THE SHOE?

I'M LOSIN' MY SOLE.

YEAH.

HOW YOU DOIN'?

FEEL KIND OF TIRED.

YEAH.

HERE. EACH ONE GETS SENT 5 CATALOGS.

OH, I CAN'T DO IT.

WHY NOT?

I ONLY GOT 12 CATALOGS LEFT ALTOGETHER.

OK.

Waturi: I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS.

DeDe: YES, MR. WATURI.

HOW ARE YOU DOING, JOE?

AHEM. WELL, UH,

I'M NOT FEELING VERY GOOD, MR. WATURI.

HEH. SO WHAT ELSE IS NEW? YOU NEVER FEEL GOOD.

YEAH. AHEM. WELL, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

ANYWAY, I--

I HAVE A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT TODAY.

ANOTHER DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT?

YEAH.

LISTEN, JOE, WHAT'S THIS DEDE TELLS ME

ABOUT THE CATALOGS?

I ONLY GOT 12.

HOW DID YOU LET US GET DOWN TO 12?

-I TOLD YOU. -WHEN?

UH, 3 WEEKS AGO, AND THEN 2 WEEKS AGO.

DID YOU TELL ME LAST WEEK?

NO.

-WHY NOT? -UH, I DON'T KNOW.

I THOUGHT YOU KNEW.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH, JOE.

NOT NEARLY GOOD ENOUGH!

I PUT YOU IN CHARGE

OF THE ENTIRE ADVERTISING LIBRARY!

AH, YOU MEAN THIS ROOM.

I GIVE YOU CARTE BLANK HOW TO DEAL

WITH THE MATERIALS IN HERE.

YOU PUT THE ORDERS INTO THE PRINTER, MR. WATURI,

NOT ME. THAT'S HOW YOU WANTED IT.

YOU ARE NOT COMPETENT

TO PUT THE ORDERS INTO THE PRINTER.

THAT'S A VERY TECHNICAL JOB.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO EXPLAIN IT.

I WAS GONNA DO BETTER THAN THAT, JOE.

I WAS GONNA MAKE YOU ASSISTANT MANAGER.

I WANT TO MAKE YOU ASSISTANT MANAGER,

BUT YOU, YOU'RE NOT FLEXIBLE.

YOU'RE INFLEXIBLE.

I DON'T FEEL INFLEXIBLE.

YOU'RE INFLEXIBLE, TOTALLY.

AND WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A DOCTOR'S APPOINTMENT?

YOU'RE ALWAYS GOING TO THE DOCTOR.

I DON'T FEEL GOOD.

SO WHAT?!

YOU THINK I FEEL GOOD?

NOBODY FEELS GOOD.

AFTER CHILDHOOD, IT'S A FACT OF LIFE.

I FEEL ROTTEN. SO WHAT?

I DON'T LET IT BOTHER ME.

I DON'T LET IT INTERFERE WITH MY JOB.

WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, MR. WATURI?

YOU'RE LIKE A CHILD.

AND WHAT'S THIS LAMP FOR?

IS THERE NOT ENOUGH LIGHT IN HERE FOR YOU?

THE FLUORESCENTS AFFECT ME.

THEY MAKE ME FEEL BLOTCHY, PUFFY.

I THOUGHT THIS LIGHT WOULD--

GET RID OF THE LIGHT.

THIS IS NOT YOUR BEDROOM, JOE. THIS IS AN OFFICE.

MAYBE IF YOU START TREATING THIS LIKE A JOB

INSTEAD OF SOME KIND OF A WELFARE HOSPITAL,

YOU'LL SHAPE UP.

AND, JOE, I WANT THOSE CATALOGS.

THEN PLEASE ORDER THEM.

WATCH YOURSELF, JOE.

THINK ABOUT WHAT I JUST SAID.

YOU'VE GOT TO GET YOURSELF INTO A FLEXIBLE FRAME,

OR ELSE YOU ARE NO PLACE.

AND TAKE THAT LIGHT OFF THE DESK.

-I WILL. -DO IT NOW.

GOOD.

WHY DO YOU LET WATURI TALK TO YOU LIKE THAT?

LIKE WHAT?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

I DON'T FEEL GOOD.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW.

Woman: MR. BANKS.

MR. BANKS?

MR. BANKS.

YEAH.

DR. ELLISON WILL SEE YOU NOW.

HOW ARE YOU FEELING, MR. BANKS?

PRETTY MUCH THE SAME. I FEEL PUFFY, BLOTCHY.

I NEVER SEEM TO HAVE VERY MUCH ENERGY.

I KEEP GETTING THESE LITTLE SORE THROATS.

I--I REALLY JUST DON'T FEEL VERY GOOD.

AND HOW LONG HAVE YOU FELT THIS WAY?

WELL, PRETTY MUCH SINCE I LEFT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT,

ON AND OFF, BUT--BUT SINCE THEN,

ABOUT 8 YEARS.

WHAT DID YOU DO IN THE FIRE DEPARTMENT?

WELL, UH, YOU KNOW, I PUT OUT FIRES.

WAS IT DANGEROUS?

YEAH, THERE WAS SOME PRETTY ROUGH STUFF,

BUT I CAME OUT OF IT, UH, OK.

THE--THE HARD PART WAS NOT FEELING GOOD ALL THE TIME.

I STARTED NOT FEELING GOOD ALL THE TIME,

SO I HAD TO QUIT.

YES.

I'VE GOTTEN THE RESULTS OF YOUR TESTS.

I'VE GOT CANCER.

NO.

SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY BLOOD OR MY URINE?