Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend... (squeals)

The wedding is in two weeks!

I had sex with Tanya.

You don't live here anymore.

Please give me another chance.

You need to earn back my trust.

I'm ready to do the work.

Oh, watching you and Madison together,

I had a big breakthrough.

We should have a baby.

- We should have sex. - What?

I know. I'm shocked, too.

Rebecca Bunch's past, please.

Here you go.

You just called me Robert.

Being a priest is dope.

Did Jesus ever give you any reason to, like,

- have doubts? - No.

I have questions about Rebecca,

and I don't know if they're real questions

or if I have the jitters.

So find Rebecca.

Ask her your questions.

And Eagle is gone.

Josh is leaving me

to become a priest?

Rebecca! Stop!

Josh Chan must be destroyed.

- Anything? - Maya!

Don't yell at me.

I haven't asked about her today yet.

Read the sign with me, Maya.

MAYA/PAULA: "I don't know where Rebecca is.

"Stop asking me.

"After we agreed to destroy Josh Chan,

"Rebecca excused herself to pee

"and I haven't heard from her since.

"I do know she's alive

"because she liked my Ice Bucket Challenge video

from three years ago."

I know, but, Paula, that sign really skimps

on her interiority.

And we all have so many questions.

It's been two weeks.

Was there somebody else?

Is Josh really becoming a priest?

Why didn't that bitch invite me to the wedding?

Enough! I wish I had answers, but I don't!

I don't know where she is!

Go!

Get... Go!

You're fired again, George.

Aw, son of a...

I have a hunch!

Yeah?

No, I just liked the rhyme.

No!

_

_

So, no word from Rebecca yet?

No. I-I think she needs just a couple of days

to process everything.

Poor thing, she has been through so much.

Love has not been kind to her.

Yeah, not everyone can be as lucky as we are.

We're getting a second chance

after my... horrible mistake, thank God.

Yeah, we are. And I have to thank you.

You've been just so great

about all these rules and... Oh, by the way,

did you remember to sign in last night?

Because I was so busy I forgot to check.

Come on. Of course I did.

- I want to restore our marital trust. - _

Ooh, who signed in early every day this week?

Good job.

Thanks. I'm excited about this rule here.

"Scott sleeps on the couch until he passes

the lie-detector test three times."

I've only got one test left,

and back in the bed.

Yep. Uh-huh.

Yep. But, you know what? First you have to pass it.

And the questions are, like, no joke

on the last test... just a heads-up.

- I'm ready. - Okay, I am just...

I'm just checking.

You're-you're okay, you're fine with all this, right?

- Are you kidding? Yes. - Right.

Our plan gets rid of all the guilt.

It spells it all out. No confusion.

I'm so confused.

Who called this meeting again?

I don't know, I just got an anonymous

Google Calendar invite.

Okay, who is wasting my time with a stupid meeting?

Hmm? And what was up with the subject line...

"Insidious Business"?

- Is this you, Darryl? - Hmm?

It makes so little sense, it seems like a you thing.

- Does it? - Mm-hmm.

I have a "me" thing?

What are some of my other "me" things?

Asking a lot of questions, is that a "me" thing?

Wait, so nobody knows what this is?

- Mm-mm. - Yeah, okay, I'm out of here.

Not so fast, mama.

- (gasps) - What?

Wow.

I know, my hair is dark, so I look evil,

but I'm wearing white, which is ironic.

That's not why we're surprised.

Okay, we haven't seen you in two weeks,

and suddenly you're spinning around in some big chair?

Okay, yes, that's also surprising.

I'm so glad you're all right.

Paula, Paula, I'm trying to do a thing.

Oh, sorry, honey. I'm watching.

Do you want to turn around again?

- No. Why would I... - Okay. Okay.

How long have you been here?

Oh, since 5:00 a.m.

I had to get here early for the big reveal.

Brought my own chair, hope you like it. But I'm not tired.

I've been catnapping.

So...

you've all been wondering where I've been.

Oh, yes, I saw the locally trending hashtag.

Well, the answer is

I've been going through a metamorphosis of sorts.

I have emerged...