Jamon Jamon (Jamón, Jamón)

片名:火腿，火腿

沒人能攔住我，我一定會出名的 Nobody will stop me! I' ll be famous!

全世界 The world!

除非你的球使你出名 Unless your balls make you famous.

來吧，來吧 Come on, come on!

我不斷地說... I won't tire of saying...

誰買男內褲？女人買 Who buys men's shorts? Women do.

而且買得很好 And a good basket sells.

名字？ 勞爾.岡薩雷斯 - Name? - Raul Gonzalez.

年齡？ 22 - Age? - 22.

幹什麼的？ What do you do?

送火腿的，'征服者'牌火腿 I deliver hams, "The Conquerors" hams.

名字？ 荷塞.加布里爾 - Name? - Jose Gabrieles.

年齡？ 25歲 - Age? - 25 years old.

幹什麼的？ 水果店店員 - What do you do? - I work in a fruit shop.

名字？ 哈維爾.洛佩斯 - Name? - Javier Lopez.

年齡？ 24 - Age? - 24.

在那工作 Where do you work?

在'席爾瓦'健身房 In the Silver Gym.

名字？ 馬克.達梅薩 - Name? - Marc Damelsa.

好的，由你來負責比賽... Alright, you' re in charge of the campaign...

...記住，我們的標準要經久不衰 ...but remember our criteria has lasted three generations.

宣傳口號是你擁有山森在內 這很重要，別忘了 The slogan "You've a Samson inside means everything to me". Don't forget it.

走吧，荷塞 好的 - Come on, Jose. - Alright.

再見， 媽媽 再見， 親愛的 - Bye, Mom. - Bye, darling.

下午4點見 好的 - I' ll see you at 4 p. M. - Alright.

起來開門 Open up!

席維婭，開門！ Silvia, open up!

開門 Open up!

爸爸，怎麼啦？ Dad! What's going on?

走開 Go away.

媽媽隨時會來的 Mom will be here any minute

讓我進去 Let me in.

媽媽不會饒了我的 I can't. Mom would kill me.

求你了，席維婭，我很冷 我要喝杯酒 Please, Silvia, I' m cold. I need a drink!

爸爸.我愛你 Dad, I love you...

...但我不能讓你進來 ...but I can't do it.

什麼？ What?

你不能這樣， 媽媽會很傷心的 You get impossible and Mom gets very upset.

讓我進去 Let me in!

記住上一次 開門 - Remember last time. - Open up!

讓我進去 Let me in!

我愛你 I love you.

讓我進去 Let me in!

叫你不要再回來的 I told you never to come back here!

你這個酒鬼 You drunk bastard!

又想打我了？ You wanna hit me again?

你不馬上走，我就叫警察了 Either you leave right now or I' ll call the cops!

今晚和誰幹？ Who did you screw tonight?

你問我和誰幹了？ You ask me who I fucked with?

你沒有給我和你女兒一分錢 You left your daughters and me without a cent!

想一想吧，我關心她們 Get it through your head! I care about them!

現在呢？ And now what?

你又想來打她們？來吧，殺了她們吧 You want to beat them up? Go on, kill them!

住口 Shut up!

賤人 You bitch!

媽媽 Mom.

你不愛爸爸了.是嗎？ You' re not in love with Dad, are you?

是， 一點都不愛 No, not any more.

但我還有你們 But I have you.

我愛你 回去吧 - I love you. - Come on.

我不愛吃煎蛋餅 I' m sick of omelets.

如果不是因為媽媽 你根本不能找我出來 If it weren't for my Mom, you could count me out.

我們擁有的 For what we get...

你比我愛吃煎蛋餅 Omelets interest you more than I do.

全是你的錯，你做得太好吃了 It's your fault, you make them so well.

真棒 This really sounds great.

太好聽了 Jesus, it's too much!

席維婭 Silvia!

你怎麼了？ What happened?

你暈倒了，沒傷著吧？ You fainted. Did you hurt yourself?

剛才我眼睛發黑 I get dizzy lately.

說什麼？來這兒 What do you mean? Come here.

起來 Come on.

我兩個月沒來月經了 I've missed two periods.

你懷孕了 Are you pregnant?

我真麻煩 I' m a mess.

為什麼不告訴我？ Why didn't you tell me?

我媽也不知道 Not even my Mom knows.

我要怎麼辦？ What can I do?

我去流產吧 什麼？ - I could have an abortion. - What's that?

我不想成為你的負擔 I don't want to be a bother.

席維婭，我愛你 I love you, Silvia.

你以後不用給別人做煎蛋餅了 You won't make omelets for anyone.

就給我做好了 Just for me.

我們結婚吧 We' ll get married.

你家裡人呢？ What about your folks?

我只是一個打工妹 I' m just an employee.

不管怎樣，我們都會結婚的 We' ll get married no matter what.

明天就告訴我父母 We' ll tell my parents tomorrow.

你和我一起去參加派對 You' ll come to the party with me.

我可以吃你的'櫻桃'嗎？ Can I eat your tit?

不要 No

你好 Hello?

好的，媽媽 Yes, Mom.

我回家吃晚飯 I' ll be home for supper.

現在我沒空 I can't speak now.

再見 Bye.

我媽媽 My Mom.

為什麼喜歡吃我的咪咪呢？ How come you like eating my tits?

我喜歡... I like...

...它們的味道 ...the way they taste.

那它們是什麼味道？ What do they taste like?

不知道 I don't know.

它們和土豆煎蛋餅味道不一樣嗎？ You' re sure they don't taste like a patato omelet?

味道好極了 That would be fantastic.

一個象煎蛋餅... One would taste like an omelet...

...另一個像火腿 ...and the other, like ham.

荷塞.路易斯 Jose Luis.

等我們有了房子後... When we have a house...

...我可以要一間專門放鞋子嗎？ ...can I have a closet just to keep shoes?

帕布里託，別亂動 Pablito, stop it!

洗了澡就會變靚仔的！ You' ll see how handsome you' ll look!

他叫我嫁給他 He asked me to marry him.

來這，帕布里託 Come here, Pablito.

別把豬帶進屋裡來 I've told you not to bring the pig inside.

他叫帕布里託！ 別抓 - His name's Pablito! - Don't scratch!

很癢的 別亂抓 - It itches a lot. - Don't scratch yourself!

給你拿雪糕 I' ll get you some cream.

帶帕布里托出去 And take Pablito out of here!

你不是懷孕了吧？ You wouldn't be pregnant?

你又怎麼樣？ 繼續相愛下去 - What's pregnant? - Being in love. Go on.

我什麼時候會懷孕呢？ 不會的 - When will I be pregnant? - The latest, the better.

叫你要小心的 I told you to be careful.

看你現在 懷孕了 How far gone are you? Pregnant!

我不能讓你重蹈覆轍 I won't have you going through what I did!

我們會結婚的 We' ll get married.

荷塞.路易斯這樣說的 Jose Luis said so.

別抱什麼希望， 你清楚他母親的 Don't get your hopes up, you know his mother.

他說過等送完煎蛋餅後 He says we' re to stay for the party...

我們一起去參加派對的 ...after we deliver the omelets.

我們會結婚的 我熱愛生活 We' re getting married. You' ll see how far I' ll get in life.

你！你是你父親的跟班 You? You' re your Dad's shadow.

你說什麼，混蛋？ 大家都這樣說 - What did you say, bastard? - Everyone says so.

別惹我生氣 我脾氣可不好 Now, don't get me upset. You know I've got a rotten temper.

山森內褲不錯 Samson's got a teeny joy prong.

你要喝什麼？ What will you have?

來杯杜松子酒加補酒 A gin & tonic.

我要和席維婭結婚 I' m going to marry Silvia.

怎麼了？我還以為你會高興的 What's wrong? I thought you'd be glad.

你家裡人呢？ What about your folks?

我不管 I don't give a damn.

如果他們反對 我就離家算了 If they get on my back, I' ll leave and that's it.

別傻了 Don't be silly.

那你媽媽呢？ 到現在你還不清楚她 What about your Mom? Don't you know her by now?

我不管 所有人都以為我離不開他們 I don't care. Everybody thinks I can't do without them.

好了， 我要結婚了 Well, I' m getting married.

希望你是對的 I hope you' re right.

和席維婭結婚， 你會幸福的 I sure would be happy for you to marry Silvia.

那樣的話， 你別再亂晃了 In that case, I don't want you around.

來 Come on.

收銀機都生鏽了 The cash register is getting rusty.

快活和錢 Fun and money!

給我們看看你的錢，大豪客 Show us the green stuff, big spenders!

我是這裡最老的員工 I' m the eldest employee in this place.

歡迎來到山森退休派對 Welcome to Samson's retirees party.

我在這裡工作， 時間過得真快 I get old just by thinking...

轉眼我就老了 ...how far gone are the days when I worked here.

Silvia, your mother-in-law's a battle-ax.

席維婭 你的家婆 Shut up, they' ll hear you.

住口，那有什麼大不了的 What's the big deal?

他要向他父母介紹我 He's gonna introduce me to his parents.

真難吃 It tastes awful.

咖喱和鹽都放多了 Too much garlic. And so much salt too.

你媽媽喜歡煎蛋餅嗎？ 當然， 她會喜歡的 - Did your Mom like the omelet? - Of course she did.

那她會喜歡我嗎？ Will she like me?

味道不錯吧 The paella turned out very well, didn't it?

非常好 Yes, lovely.

我怎麼樣？ How do I look?

媽媽.席維婭來向你問好 Mom, Silvia wants to say hello.

媽媽，這是席維婭 Mom, here's Silvia.

你爸爸怎麼和那個賤女人在一塊 Why is your Dad with that whore?

誰請了她的？ 我 - Who invited her? - I did.

為什麼？ 因為她是我媽媽 - Why. - Because she's my mother.

席維婭，別理我媽 Come on, Silvia, forget about my mother.

其他人的媽媽並不都像你媽媽那樣好 Not everyone's Mom is as good as yours.

但他們都因為我媽媽而看不起我 Yeah, but they despise me because of my Mom.

我13歲時，他在酒吧當豔舞女郎 When I was 13, she worked in a top-less bar.

我們真可憐 但她要養活我們 The poor thing couldn't serve a drink. But she had to feed us.

最初，沒有人買煎蛋餅 At first, nobody bought omelets.

要是爸爸不拋棄我們的話 情況就不一樣了 If Dad hadn't abandoned us, it would've been different.

我媽媽就那樣 我需要時間和她溝通 My Mom is the way she is. I need time to tell her about us.

你還沒睡？ You' re still awake?

叫你不要亂放鞋 How often have I told you not to leave shoes around?

怎麼啦？ What is it?

他沒有告訴他父母關於我們的事？ Jose Luis hasn't told his folks about us.

如果不能和他結婚，我會自殺的 If I don't marry him, I' ll kill myself.

別胡來 If you do, I' ll kick you alive.

睡覺吧 Go to sleep.

晚安 Good night.

媽媽 什麼事？ - Mom. - What?

什麼事？ What?

我愛你 I love you.

寶貝... Honey...

你是世界上最好的媽媽 You' re the best Mom in the world.

聽話 Gogh...

漂亮的小狗 ...nice doggie, nice.

他媽媽的鞋 Goddamn shoes!

兒子不能和那個女孩來往 My son will not go out with that girl.

她母親是個妓女 Her mother's a whore!