The Summoning of Chloe Kane

Camila?

Ariana?

Are you down here?

Your daddy already has the car running,

so there's no time for hide and seek.

All right. This isn't funny anymore.

Keep this up and you can kiss your slumber party goodbye.

Boo!

Did I scare you, Mama?

Nearly to death!

-Daddy! -Yeah, Frederick.

Thanks a lot.

The girls nearly made me wet myself.

Now you're going to finish the job.

Really?

No, not really.

Oh damn, I guess I'm gonna have to try harder next time.

Well, does anyone else need to change besides their mother?

No, my bladder's just fine,

unlike Mom, it seems.

What's a "bladder"?

Ha ha.

Help me up, Daddy.

All right.

Boo!

Spooky story,

you trying to pull it over on us?

Girls?

Ah? Girls?

My name is Chloe Kane

and what you just saw was a nightmare.

A nightmare that haunted me for three consecutive months.

Some family, somewhere in some basement being murdered

by some shape-shifting demon.

Same damn dream every damn night.

I could set a clock to it.

See, I'm a psychic.

There's four different types of psychics;

clairsentience,

clairvoyance,

clairaudience,

and claircognizance.

And no one can explain why or how certain individuals

are born with any of these extraordinary gifts,

but we do exist.

Except in my case,

I was born with 'em all.

I just didn't know it.

As time went on,

the nightmares became more and more debilitating.

So one day out the blue, my husband tells me,

we're moving to Germany to a small town outside of Koblenz

where few people will recognize any of us.

He went on to say the change of scenery

would be good for my mental health

on account of how beautiful the town is.

Even in the winter,

the hills undulate with pristine greenery.

Shoot, I was packed before he finished his soliloquy.

Yeah I still can't believe we're living in another country.

Yeah.

In Germany for crying out loud.

Right?

That sweet, handsome giant next to me

is my hubby, Aaron Kane,

former star left end for the Eagles,

most feared man on the planet when he played,

known to many as the king of sacks,

but known to me as the king of my heart.

Can you guys, like, drop the suspense

and tell us something?

My beautiful baby sister Natalia Kane.

Isn't she adorable?

Even though we're only a year apart,

I stand on that seniority.

Fun fact, she, my mother and I each share the same birthday.

I mean, talk about aligning stars.

Seriously.

Any details? Come on.

Last but not least,

my brother-in-law, Anthony Kane,

the greatest middle linebacker who ever lived.

He hit so hard,

he used to knock opposing players' dicks loose.

In case you didn't notice, he and Aaron are identical twins.

In fact, Aaron wears that beard

so people can tell 'em apart.

Natalia and I always could somehow.

A little tiny A-frame where you're gonna end up

picking berries and shit.

Pulled up in a small town called Andernach.

The locals welcomed us with open arms.

I say that in jest.

It was more like scowls.

I mean it wasn't quite the backwoods of Alabama

in the sixties type welcoming, but still.

Oh, can we take a picture in front of this?

Oh my gosh.

Oh, we gonna drive on in.

We don't need to take a picture.

This is private property, babe.

I don't think you could do that.

You can't just drive up in people's properties

and do whatever you want.

Look at that.

My eyes just about fell out my head

when I saw our name on that joint.

You're probably thinking, "how"?

So allow me to briefly shed a bit of biographical context.

We paid.

Self-made billionaires.

The surname Kane is now something greater than a name

likely passed down by some slave owner.

Together we gave it new meaning.

We worked our asses off to build Kane

into a proud lucrative brand to pass down

to our future little ones.

Babe.

Does that say "Kane" on that mailbox?

Wait, wait, wait. Babe, don't play.

Why does it say "Kane" on the mailbox?

Are you serious?

Oh, I'm serious as a heart attack.

What's so serendipitous about all of this

is that on our wedding day,

the twins promised us a castle.

We just took it as a sweet hyperbole, but look.

Whoa.

Oh my gosh, sis.

Look at this place.

Wow.

Our new home. What do you ladies think?

Four impoverished Philly kids

quelled the disadvantages of the lousy hand life dealt 'em

and became one of the most affluent families in the world.

Someone wrote that about us once.

Such a great headline.

I knew the girls was going to love this.

Oh man, like some fairytale shit to them.

All little girls dream of fairytales.

Just like in any fairytale,

there's an antagonist

to disrupt the protagonist's happiness.

Our smiles were too bright that day...

Can I help y'all with something?

...and the role of antagonist

hadn't been filled just yet.

- Good morning. - Good morning.

Morning.

Don't be alarmed.

We're just neighbors happening by to meet our new neighbors.

That's funny. I--

I didn't know it was German custom

for y'all to greet new neighbors with arms.

So, things are harmless.

It's people that make 'em dangerous.

That is Hans Wagner.

Mistook him for a local at first.

The other two are, but not him.

His family tree is rooted here though.

In fact, his grandfather was an American soldier

who met his German grandmother

as her family sought shelter during World War II.

They fell in love, started a family.

A lovely tale to tell if I had the time to tell it.

Getting back to Hans,

he inherited his grandparents' family home 20 some years ago

and been living there ever since.

But before then, he'd never set foot on German soil.

See, Hans was born and raised in San Diego, California

and his parents too.

So while German does pump through his blood rails,

that makes him about his local as a Starbucks.

Shit, in America, we bring pie.

That's funny.

Sis, they have guns.

Why the--?

This is all ours! We paid for this.

Okay, no, I'm going,

I'm gonna go figure out what's going on.

You know, America is so pleasant towards your kind.

This guy.

Listen, can we help y'all with something?

As a matter of fact, you can.

You can gather your lovely wives,

get back in your vehicle,

and go back where you came from.

See, this place belonged

to a dear friend of ours named Frederick.

Do you know him?

You don't have to answer that

because I know you don't

because if you did, you wouldn't be standing here.

You would know.

This place isn't for you.

Aaron, what's going on?

Nothing, man.

These dickheads came--

It was clear that Hans didn't want us there.

But they about to kick rocks.