The Sleepover

So, there my grandfather was.

Alone, injured,

scared, in space.

And the only way he could survive until his crew came back to rescue him

was by growing vegetables…

in his own poop.

OK, Kevin... I'm gonna stop you right there.

I'm having a hard time believing this is true.

Mrs. Westenfeldt, I don't know what would make you think--

Well, for one thing, it's the plot of The Martian.

- Come on. - Enough already, Kev.

Where do you think they got the idea?

- -Ow!

My God. Oh, my God.

Clancy?

Is your head OK?

-Uh, hey, Travis. -

Uh, yeah, I'm fine.

So, I'm having this party tonight.

My parents are out of town. You should come by. Here, um…

-Give me your number, so I can-- -Oh, um, I don't have that.

-You don't have a number? -No. I don't have a phone.

- -My mom won't let me.

She thinks social media's where serial killers

and college admissions get their information about you.

That's… That's really weird.

Yeah.

- Hey, Trav. -Hey, Emma.

Your party is going to be wicked awesome.

Oh, and shouldn't you be in rehearsal, band nerd?

Don't worry about them. They're annoying.

Hope I see you tonight.

Louisa, thank you. Violin sounded excellent.

Alright, guys, practice, practice.

Alright. Bye, kids.

-Great job today, Clancy. -Thanks.

Did you finish your... your audition tape?

Um, not yet.

Not yet?

Clancy, the application deadline is in two weeks.

I know, I… I filmed one last night, but I deleted it,

'cause at ends, I was a little pitchy, and the high notes were flat. I…

-I just need-- -Hey, listen...

Make the tape this weekend, get it to me by Monday.

That's it. You got this.

-OK. -OK. You got this.

- -Kids class. You wanna practice? Fine.

["Do It Like This" by Daphne Willis playing]

Ooh!

Ooh, you look good!

Yeah, I didn't... didn't think I'd see you here.

You look fierce.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

- Yeah! -

Nice moves, loser.

-This is so good, man. - It was just a joke.

- Where you going? Get back here. - Leave me alone.

Where you going? Come on. Give me one more move.

I knew you were there the whole time. It was just a joke.

- Youre gonna be famous. -Hey.

-Everything OK here, boys? -Yep. All good.

Sure.

Alright. Why don't you head back to lunch?

Not so fast, you three. You're eighth graders.

You think you should be picking on younger kids?

What are you gonna do about it?

Oh... Jeez, well.

I guess, first I would find out who your parents are.

Then I'd find out where they live.

And one night,

when you're all sound asleep, I'd cut a small hole in their brake lines.

So, one minute you've got brakes, and the next,

you're rolling right through a stop sign

and getting smashed into little, unrecognizable pieces by oncoming traffic.

Oops! You missed lunch.

Better not be late for class.

- - Guys, wait up!

["Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?" by Paula Cole playing on stereo]

- -

-Hey, Dad! -Hey!

Hey, guys!

TGIF! How was school?

Fine.

-Did anything interesting happen? - No.

OK.

Dad, you really brought those weird finger things to school?

Uh, no, I didn't bring these with me to school, OK?

I have a spare set in the car.

-That's even weirder. -Kevin, can you tell your sister

that being a pastry chef

requires enormous finger strength for kneading dough?

-Look at that muscle. -Yeah, look at it. He's the finger ninja.

- Hola. What's goin' on, Finch family? -Hi.

Thanks for always letting me catch a ride, Mr. Finch.

- You're basically family, Mim. -Don't be a perv! Close the door.

- - So, Mim...

Oh, boy.

Well, looks like we're all here. Let's hit it, Dad.

I'd love to, but I can't jump the line.

Yeah, it's just, idling like this is super bad for the environment.

Oh... Do you have to take a number two?

Dad, what? No!

No, I'm just saying. I know you don't like going in school,

and I remembered last year,

when you held it in for five days, and finally...

Dad, stop! You're killing me!

I'm killing you? You were killing us, when you--

Hey!

-Mr. Finch… -Hey, Mrs. W.

You know what I just realized?

Mrs. W and Mrs. Westenfeldt have the same amount of syllables,

so me calling you "Mrs. W"

doesn't save any time.

-Isn't that funny? -Ha-ha.

-She doesn't care. -It's funny to me.

Mr. Finch, Kevin gave a very interesting oral presentation

in social studies class today.

Really?

It was a project on their family history

and Kevin had fascinating things to say about your family.

Oh, well--

And how they were a troupe of traveling Russian acrobats turned astronauts

-NASA trained for secret space missions. -That--

Kevin tends to live in his own imaginary little world,

-which can be great… -Yes.

…except when it comes at the expense of participating in real life.

Except then.

So... I will give him the weekend to redo his project.

-That seems fair. - He can present again on Monday.

-Hm. -Well, I appreciate that.

And she's gone.

- -

Alright. Everybody, buckle up, the correct way.

- -

- Who puts ketchup on pizza? - OK, Kevin.

-Hey, hon! -Hey, guys.

You should've seen me. I was a tiger in the carpool line.

You are the king of carpool.

Guess what. I had a chat with Mrs. W.

-Kevin's at it again. -Kevin, are you telling tales again?

-How was lunch duty today? - You know, same as usual.

Actually, an 8th grader got into trouble with his phone. I had--

Wow! An 8th grader has a phone, and I don't.

Mom, can we talk about this? Please. It's time. I need a phone.

I'm literally the only one in my grade without one. I'm a total freak.

Just 'cause you don't have a phone, doesn't make you a freak.

Mmm... It's not like "sit with the counselor at lunch

'cause you stink like cheese" freak, but--

You know, in high school we had this foreign exchange student

who smelled like cheese. We called him Frankie Fromage.

- -Ew, Dad! Mom!

-He liked it. Frankie Fromage. -Focus! Phone.

Honey, we've been over this. What do you need a phone for?

Travis Schultz asked for her number to invite her to his party.

Do you know what that means? He's a senior.

Senior.

Wait, a senior? Who? What?

-Travis who? What party? - Hmm?

What? No. What party? No parties.

- Sorry. -Are his parents be there?

-Oh my God. I don't know, Mom. - We can call his parents.

We should call his parents.

-We should call everybody. -Oh my God. Don't do that.

Absolutely not. Do not call anybody. That's so embarrassing.

Honey, listen...

I know you think I don't get it, but I was 15 once too.

I know a thing or two about parties.

- Really? -Yeah.

All you ever talk about is how you spent every waking moment in the library.

Yeah, well, you know, parties came and went,

but the library was always there for me.

You're about to quote your dead poet guy.

-"There are no strangers here, just…" - "Friends you haven't met."

William Butler Yeats.

Feel like if you can quote that by heart, you didn't go to a lot of parties.