The Office

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

Sure, can I ask who's calling?

Just a second.

Jim Halpert. What?

How did you get this number?

Stalker.

Katy and Jim

met in the office.

And now, I guess

they're, like, going out

or dating or something.

And...

I don't know, you know.

They're just...

She calls him, and they...

You know.

I'm sorry, I feel like

I'm talking really loud.

Am I talking really loud?

So we're still on for lunch?

You're meeting me here?

Okay. Great. Bye.

Hey, you can just

give her your extension.

Okay.

Howard/Ryan.

Ryan Howard is sitting

in my office.

And he has been a temp here

for a couple of months,

and he's kind of gotten

the lay of the land

a little bit.

Had a few laughs

along the way.

And now he wants

to know what I think.

The temp agency wants to know

what you think.

Shall we? Let us proceed.

First up, "Proficiency

in necessary skills.

"Excellent."

Michael's

in there right now

evaluating the temp.

He hasn't evaluated me

in years.

Five years from now,

what do you wanna do?

Where do you wanna be?

Well, I'm interested

in business.

Oh. Good. Ambitious.

Excellent.

Wanna be a manager?

No, actually, what I want

is to own my own company.

That is ridiculous.

Ryan's about to attend

the Michael Scott

School of Business.

I'm like Mr. Miyagi and Yoda

rolled into one.

"Much advice you seek."

Do you know who that is?

Fozzie Bear?

Hmm.

No. That was Yoda.

There are 10 rules of business

that you need to learn.

Number one:

you need to play to win,

but you also have to

win to play.

Got it.

And I will give you

the rest of the 10 at lunch.

Hey.

Michael and I have

a very special connection.

He's like Batman,

I'm like Robin.

He's like the Lone Ranger

and I'm like Tonto.

And it's not like there was

the Lone Ranger

and Tonto and Bonto.

People!

Okay, everybody!

This is not a test.

Move to the exits.

Devon,

head towards the exit.

Do not panic!

Get up off your desks.

No, I don't

wanna hear it. All right?

Let's go, people!

No panic is warranted.

Do not panic!

Go in a single-file line.

This is not a drill!

Arms at your side!

Please, move quickly!

This is a paper company,

people.

Step lively. This whole place

is a tinderbox.

It is ready to blow.

This is not a test.

Can you leave?

Oh, you say that every time.

Do you wanna die?

Oh, God.

Do you wanna die? Out!

All right, let's go,

let's go, let's go.

Stanley, have you ever

seen a burn victim?

Move to the exits.

Come on, your safety partners.

Your safety partners.

Let's go!

Real smoke!

We've got smoke! Smoke!

God!

Oh, Kelly! Are you okay?

I got you!

I'm okay!

Cover your nose and mouth.

Hey, let go of me!

Breathe through your nose.

Let go of me!

Breathe through your nose.

Remove your stockings, okay?

They'll melt

right into your flesh.

Stay below the smoke line.

Let's go! Clear out, stat!

Stat means now!

Yes,

I was the first one out.

And, yes, I've heard women

and children first,

but we do not employ children.

We are not a sweatshop,

thankfully.

And women are equal

in the workplace by law.

So, I let them out first,

I've a lawsuit on my hands.

Another rule of business

is being able to adapt

to different situations.

Yeah?

Mmm-hmm.

Adapt. React. Readapt.

Apt. All right?

That's rule number two.

Okay, guys, listen up.

We need a head count.

Okay, we need to count off.

Michael's number one.

Where is he? Where's he?

So, what was rule two?

Adapt, react, readapt, apt.

Okay, well,

let's just kind of take it

a little slower.

Hey, Michael,

Ryan needs a number

for the count off.

Okay, well, "1" is taken.

Okay, "2"?

No!

Oh, sorry.

Okay.

He can have "14."

Marjorie's not here today.

Well, he needs

a permanent number, right?

No, I don't.

Oh, you know what else?

I thought of a nickname

for the three of us.

Three Musketeers.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. No, no, no.

I got one, I got one.

The Three Stooges.

That's funny, too.

But if we're

the Three Musketeers...

I don't wanna be, like,

a guy here, you know?

Like, Stanley

is the crossword-puzzle guy

and Angela has cats.

I don't wanna

have a thing here.