Postman Pat: The Movie

There you are, good as new.

Now arriving Greendale Station. Please disembark to your left.

Thank you so much, porter.

- Isn't this marvellous weather? - Oh, yes, indeed.

Oh, thanks, Jess.

It wouldn't do to forget my hat on such a lovely morning!

Oh, Pat, that's not all you forgot.

Thanks, love.

Of course, Jess. Extra milk and no coffee.

Aw. You're so thoughtful, Sara.

This year, I'm finally taking you on a proper honeymoon.

- I promise! - Oh! You mean it, Pat?

I've always dreamed of a holiday in Italy.

Really? Italy?

Do you suppose that's why I sent away for some hotel recommendations in Rome?

I'll be getting my bonus today. I'll use it to book our flights.

- Whoa! Sorry, Dad!

I'm practising the trick shot you taught me.

Come on then, Julian. What have you got?

Are you sure, Dad? I'm getting pretty good.

Now remember what I taught you. Stay loose.

You gotta stay loose. Keep it loose.

Yes!

Nice one, son! You're getting better every day!

I hear them cheering for you in the stands right now.

"Pencaster United!"

Dad. I don't play for Pencaster, yet.

Ah, come on!

You'll be in the team before you can say "boo" to a goose.

- Have a good day, dear! - Always do!

Bye, love! Bye, Julian!

Right, how about some music?

Good morning, Greendale!

Here's the Saturdays' latest hit single, Please Mr Postman.

I wish I was a postman.

Oh! I love this song, Jess!

Bye, love! Bye, Dad!

How do, Pat. - Good morning!

Hello, Jess.

Good morning, Pat.

- Hey, Pat! - Morning, George.

- Hello, Pat! - Good morning, Pat!

- Hello, Pat! - Good morning, Pat!

Hello, Ted! Nice to see you, Amy!

- Good morning, Constable Selby. - Good morning, Pat.

- Good morning, Pat. - Good morning, Pat.

- Hello, Mr Clifton. - Morning, Jess.

- Morning, Pat. - Pat! Oh, Pat! I have something for you!

Yes, Lizzy?

I have a very special letter for you to deliver.

It's a bit early for letters to Father Christmas, isn't it?

I want to avoid the rush.

Well, this is a very special letter.

I'll make sure it gets delivered.

I knew you would, Pat.

Thank you, Pat. Say hello to Sara for me.

Bye, Pat!

Goodbye, Lizzy. Bye, Lauren.

- Have a good day, Constable. - You too, Pat.

Wish I was a postman.

Good morning, Pat.

Hello, Mrs Goggins! Any local deliveries today?

- Just these, Pat. - Thanks.

And a few things to keep in mind today, Pat.

Michael's repainting his shop, so you mustn't use the letterbox.

- Got it! - And Julia Pottage has a dreadful cold,

so don't ring the bell.

Right. That's all then?

- Have a good day. - Thanks!

Let's go, Jess.

Major Forbes?

Delivery, Major Forbes.

Major Forbes?

Hello? Major Forbes!

Major Forbes!

Oh, dear. He can't hear us.

He really needs these, Jess.

- I think this calls for manoeuvre 17. - Mmm-hmm!

Great job, Jess!

Here it comes. Catch!

Sorry, Jess. My fault.

Oh! What was that?

Oh! Oh, Jess! Well, it's jolly good to see you.

Why didn't you ring the bell?

Ah, there's Keats and Byron and Shelley.

And there's Tennyson and... Oh, Lord Alfred.

Uh, five, six, seven...

Morning, Alf. How's the flock?

Oh, hello, Pat. Fine. Just fine.

- Where's Abigail? - Actually, I was just wondering that myself.

Abigail?

Oh, Alf. Not again.

Well done, Jess!

Thanks, Jess!

I wish I was a postman.

See you tomorrow, Alf.

Well, that was a fine day's work. Mission accomplished!

I hope we get our bonus today. Sara seemed very excited about the trip...

Morning, Pat. Sorry, we're a bit busy. Hiya, Pat! Hiya, Jess!

- Pat! Am I glad to see you! - Hello, Ben.

I didn't know SDS did airmail.

We don't. it's the new executive from corporate headquarters.

He's replaced my sorting system with more "efficient" machines!

And they're very efficiently not working!

Lots of wasted time, space and energy here, Ben.

Not sure even my machines can save this place.

- Hello! Nice to meet you. - You are...

Postman Clifton.

It's Pat, actually.

Yes. Slow delivery record,

but apparently you're effective when it comes to misplaced livestock.

Mr Carbunkle, Pat is our very best postman...

The future of the Special Delivery Service is speed, Mr Taylor, not wool gathering.

Wool gathering.

That was rather good.

If I could have everyone's attention?

Thank you.

SDS has some exciting and profitable changes in the works.

- Hello, Jess. - Ahhh!

From now on, all company tea bags

must be used a minimum of three times before disposal.

- Deary me. - That's me cup of tea.

Toilet breaks are now B-Y-O-P. Bring Your Own Paper.

Huh? But I had a curry for lunch.

And it goes without saying, there will be no bonuses this year.

No bonuses? But Italy...

The Special Delivery Service is changing.

New ideas. New management.

If you want to keep this office open, I suggest you get with the programme.

I also suggest you get back to work.

Oh, goodness, Jess, what a day.

Do you think Sara will be very disappointed about cancelling the trip?

Well, maybe she wasn't looking forward to Italy all that much.

Uh... Oh.

Sara? Are we having a fancy dress party?

No, silly! I just wanted to get us in the mood for our holiday.

Come in! Or as they say in Italy...

Oh. Or maybe that's something about a hedgehog.

Oh, I'm so excited, Pat.

Did you know Italian is one of the romantic languages?

I've been looking at hotels.

- They're a bit expensive. - Sara, I...

But we've been looking forward to this trip for so long!

- I have to tell you something. - Oh, me, too, Pat.

- I think we should go to Venice first. - Right.

Only, one small thing.

A man from head office came by today.

Smoke?

Oh! The caprese salad!

- Need some help, love? - Oh, no! I'm all right. Thank you!

- Does one actually cook a caprese salad? - She does.

- You're The One is back on! Come on, Dad! - You're The One?

Oh, Dad, it's just massive!

It's a talent show where ordinary people compete for recording contracts,

trips and all sorts of really amazing prizes.

# Oh!

# We're loving each day as if it's the last

# Dancing all night, having a blast

# 'Cause, baby, I need you here

# Girl, I'm on a mission to cure my condition

# 'Cause without your kissing, my heart's just a prison

# So I'm hoping and wishing that, girl, I'm forgiven... #

Yes, thank you. That will be enough.

Oh.

There's actually quite a bit more.

Don't threaten me.

I'm sorry. What was your name again?

My name's Ronan.

Ronald, they did tell you that this is a talent show?

Well, yes, they did. You know, I do actually have a bit of experience with this.

I'm sorry. Can we get a translator in here?

I think he's speaking Australian or something.

Actually, I'm from Ireland originally.

Then I hope all the horseless carriages and aeroplanes here haven't frightened you.

Oh.

Am I on to the next round then?

If we were playing Russian roulette. Simon says, "Next!"

Well, thanks for the opportunity...

He's a bit harsh, isn't he?

That's what makes the show so good. Everybody watches it.

I'm Simon Cowbell and we'll be back after this break.

Unfortunately.

Television is a vast wasteland.

All right. This is it! We're up next!

All the lessons and work are about to be...

Josh! Try to remember why we're here!

What would I be today if I wasted my life on video games?

A talent agent with only one client?

Look, laddie, I have swindled a lot of old ladies to pay for your singing lessons,

and I will not...

Well, we're back. Or, rather I'm back. With an empty stage.

Let's take this opportunity to enjoy the silence.

That's it! You're on, lad! Go on, wee man! Break a leg!

Right. What have you got for us? Josh, is it?

- I thought I'd sing a song. - Well, that's refreshing and new.

- I've had a few dancing lessons, too. - What incredibly useful information.

Thank you. Go ahead. Steal another two minutes of my life.

# Yeah

# Here we go. Yo!

# Give me just a little time