Preacher

Girl: Eugene, where are you?

I need you.

Please, come now.

Lock the door.

Tracy, what's wrong? What happened?

He cheated on me.

Jenny Lewin saw him getting head under the bleachers

from Karen Freakin' Murphy.

She's a five at best.

Jenny Lewin hates me.

She's gonna tell everyone

that Tucker cheated on me with a five.

I'll be humiliated.

So...

I'm gonna kill myself.

- It's my dad's, and it's loaded. - Whoa, wait.

Why don't you put that down before somebody gets hurt?

I'm killing myself, Eugene.

I already wrote my suicide note.

"To whom it may concern... Dear everybody,

my death has nothing to do with that asshole Tucker."

"I hereby leave Buckeroo to Suzy K., my only friend

who cared enough to bring him carrots.

The rest of my stuff should be kept exactly where it is,

like a shrine so people can remember me.

Under no circumstances are my brothers

ever allowed in my room."

"For Tucker, I'll leave a list

of all the guys I've had really great sex with

so he can be jealous for all eternity...

Greg, Houston, Cody H., Cody D."

Cody D.?

Well it was just anal

so I'll still get into Heaven.

The part about you is at the end.

"I officially put my most trusted friend...

Eugene Root...

in charge of everything in this letter."

My funeral playlist is on page 14.

Make sure they bury me in that dress.

Look, I-I-I'm sorry, Tracy,

but I-I'm not gonna help you with this.

- No way. - You have to.

You're the only person I can count on to do what I say.

Look.

I know this hurts, but dying is not the answer.

Living is.

Look, Tracy, God would not want you to give up on yourself

just 'cause...

Just 'cause Jenny Lewin's got a big mouth.

He's probably got a miracle waiting for you

right around the corner.

The thing is...

you got to stick around if you want to see it.

It... It's like what Mary Poppins says

in "The Sound of Music", that when God closes a door,

he always opens up a window.

You're right. I used to love Mary Poppins.

We won't need this anymore.

Thanks, Eugene.

- What the heck? - I'm... I'm sorry.

I just... I just thought that...

You thought that because me and Tucker that...

you and me?

Maybe.

Ew.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

- No! -

Darn it.

Tracy?! Oh, thank gosh.

I'm so sorry. Please don't die.

I'm just gonna get all this back in here,

and you'll be good as new, all right?

It really looks a lot worse than it is.

Just gonna scoop this stuff back in there where it belongs.

Please don't die, Tracy. Please don't die.

Mrs. Loach: Hello? Tracy?

- Tracy? - Hey, Mrs. Loach.

We'll be out in just a second.

Okay, Eugene.

- - Why is this door locked?

We'll be out in just a minute.

Tracy, you know the rules. Unlock this door.

What's going on in there, Eugene?

Uh, Tracy's taking a nap, Mrs. Loach.

- We'll be out in... -

just... Just a minute.

- Tracy, honey, are you okay? -

- - What's he doing to you?

Eugene, open this door right now

or you're gonna be in big trouble. I mean it.

Eugene Root, open this door or I'm calling your father.

Please don't do that, Mrs. Loach.

- Tracy? Tracy? -

Eugene, you leave my daughter alone.

Eugene, you answer me right now! You monster!

You get your hands off my daughter, Eugene!

I'm calling your father right now!

Eugene! Eugene!

Tracy: Eugene, where are you?

I need you. I need you.

Please, come now.

- Lock the door. -

He cheated on me. I'm gonna kill myself.

I'm sorry, Tracy, but I'm not gonna help you with this.

Dying is not the answer. Living is.

Ew.

- No! -

It really looks a lot worse than it is.

Mrs. Loach: Hello? Tracy?

- - Tracy: Eugene, where are you?

- - Tracy: Lock the door.

It's my dad's, and it's loaded.

Dying is not the answer. Living is.

Please don't die. Oh, God.

- - You and me?

- Ew. -

- Ew. -

Ew.

_

All units down in block 3767211.

Don't move.

= resynce to WEB-DL by Yn1D =-

_

I just think New Orleans is a dumb idea.

- Got a better one? - No, NOLA's great.

Ladies flash their boobs at practically nothing up there.

If you like that sort of thing. I don't.

Are we gonna have to listen to this one song

over and over the whole drive?

I'm just trying to figure it out.

Tammy said "A Walk To The Peak" was God's favorite.

It is kinda catchy.

Yeah, like cats screwing at the airport

under an ice-cream truck.

Huh.

I thought you hated New Orleans.

I like the city fine.

It's the swamps I don't like.

Why's that?

It's a family thing. You want me to drive?

My car? No.

- Why? - You're driving like a little boy.

- No, I'm not. - You're goin' 50.

That's the legal speed limit, Jesse.

I just think New Orleans is a dumb plan.

- So I heard. - All's we know is that

God has a crappy taste in music.

- I like jazz. - I like tacos.

- Doesn't mean I go to Mexico. - You have gone to Mexico.

I didn't go to Mexico for the tacos, Jesse.

I went to kill a guy. That's my point.

Do you know what, though?

I could really go for a Mexican taco right now.