Blackbeard's Ghost

- Want gas, Mister? - Yeah, fill it up.

Help yourself, will you please? I've gotta close up.

Do you know how to get to Blackbeard's Inn at Godolphin?

I'm going there myself. I'll show you the way if you give me a lift.

- You're on. - Thanks.

- Staying at the inn? - Yep.

Mostly, old ladies live there.

Salesmen going through like to stay at Ye Jolly Roger down in town.

Got more of a chance to kick up their heels.

Oh, I'm not a salesman. I'm the new track coach at Godolphin College.

Coach! I'm glad to know you.

My name's Gudger Larkin. I'm on your track squad.

I'm captain.

Well, well.

Small world, isn't it?

Let's see now, Captain. I'd guess you were a sprinter, huh?

Golly, no, sir. I'm as slow as molasses in January.

Can you give me a hand, coach?

Yeah.

What is your event, Larkin?

- Oh, I'm the shot putter, sir. - Shot putter?

The weight man is usually the strongest man on the team.

Yes, sir.

That's the inn, coach. That's Blackbeard's Inn.

Did the old pirate really build it?

Sure, he got killed in a battle right out there in the bay.

I'll have to brush up on local history.

Wait till you meet the little old ladies who run the inn.

They're all descendants of Blackbeard's bloody crew,

and they're proud of it.

"Buccaneer bazaar tonight. Help save Blackbeard's Inn."

What does that mean?

Some guy is trying to have the inn torn down,

but the old ladies are putting up a pretty good fight.

Are you sure they haven't started to tear it down already?

It's built mostly of odds and ends,

timbers of ships that got wrecked in the bay.

- You can park over there. - All right.

What's that all about?

Hey, buddy...

That's Silky Seymour. He runs the gambling around here.

I wouldn't fool with him.

What's he doing at the old ladies' bazaar?

He bought up their mortgage from the bank.

If the old ladies don't come up with the loot, out they go.

This fella Seymour gets everything he wants around here, huh?

Just about.

Ms. Jeffrey, have you seen Ms. Stowecroft?

This gentleman has a room reservation.

She's outside in a tent, telling fortunes.

- Dean Wheaton. - What is it?

Sir, I'd like you to meet our new track coach.

Steve Walker, sir. Just arrived. I believe I'm to report to you in the morning.

- Oh, welcome to Godolphin, Mr. Walker. - Thank you very much, sir.

I don't want to seem negative, but I want to be frank.

I was not in favor of replacing our former track coach

- when he left so informally. - Oh.

For some years now, the track team has done little to add precious luster

to the name of Godolphin College,

so there didn't seem any point in going on, you see.

Well, I'm sorry to hear that...

Howsoever, we have competed in the Broxton Relays for 63 years,

so the alumni insisted on one more try.

Of course, there's not much time before the relay,

but I hope I can restore your confidence in the boys.

Mr. Walker, I never had any.

Well, hmm...

Before the warmth of the dean's reception goes to my head,

I think I'll find Ms. Stowecroft and get a room.

I've been on the road since 5:00 this morning.

Okay, coach. I'll see you tomorrow.

Gudger...

What did happen to the other track coach?

I don't know. He got to acting real weird.

Talking to himself, real down in the chops.

One day, he just disappeared.

Just... And he was gone.

Good night, Gudger.

Good night, Coach.

Mr. Walker.

This is Mr. Purvis, our football coach,

whom you undoubtedly know by reputation.

Well, I certainly do. Who doesn't?

We're fortunate in having the services of Mr. Purvis.

He produces winning football teams,

which in turn produce large grants and endowments from proud alumni.

Mr. Walker is the new coach of what we refer to as the track team.

"The track team."

Walker, you won't last three weeks. Take my word for it.

If you don't mind, Mr. Purvis, I'd like to find out for myself.

A word of advice, friend.

At Godolphin, the name of the game is football.

That's what makes the mare go round, so...

Football.

Don't get any big ideas.

Wouldn't dream of it.

Come along, Mr. Purvis. I'm sure Mr. Walker will acclimatize very quickly.

Track team!

Ms. Stowecroft?

Sit down, Ishmael.

No, my name's Steve Walker, Ms. Stowecroft.

I believe a room was arranged for me here through the college.

You know, living accommodations?

We accommodate the living,

but who shall accommodate the dead?

Give me your hand, Ishmael.

Oh, no, no. I don't want my fortune told.

Just a room, Ms. Stowecroft.

There's a revelation here. Dark deeds and violence.

Things roused up that were better left to rot.

If you'll tell me where the keys are, Ms. Stowecroft, I'd be happy to...

Oh, there's more to the revelation.

We see good here, too.

That's good.

Happiness and content for the people of Godolphin,

delivered from an ancient evil

and gratitude to you, Ishmael,

who have sacrificed your own life in their delivery.

Now the light fades.

That is all.

About the room, Ms. Stowe...

- That's all. - Yes, but I...

You may leave an honorarium for the care and welfare of the spirits

in the bowl on your way out.

Thank you. Come again.

Hi.

Hey! What's the big idea?

Kisses $1, right?

I don't work here.

Can't you read? I'm executive committee.

I work here.

Well now, so you do.

That is what I call a real good dollar kiss! Plenty of value for the money.

Would you hold this a minute, please?

How would you like to try the $5 special?

Five-dollar special.

May I have my badge? Thank you.

Oh, no, no. I'm terribly sorry. Only one to a customer.

Excuse me.

Ms. Stowecroft. If I could get that room, please?

Oh, Ishmael, come along, please. The auction is about to begin.

Ladies and gentlemen of Godolphin

and neighboring communities,

you all know the purpose of this bazaar.

Our good friends, the Daughters of the Buccaneers,

took over this old ruin many years ago and turned it into a cultural landmark.

They served tea, cooked chicken dinners,

even turned part of it into a boarding house.

Anything to keep it going, but that's not enough.

Unless enough money is raised tonight,

this place, that has been their home for so many years,

will pass into the hands of strangers.

When Ms. Stowecroft begins to auction off

the treasured mementoes, the fine antiques,

and the family heirlooms that these good ladies

have so generously donated to the cause,

I beg you to search your hearts and to bid cheerfully,

boldly, and very, very generously. Thank you.

Ms. Stowecroft.

Thank you, Professor Baker.

Lot number one.

A fine antique pistol, which has been in the immediate family

of Ms. Emily Jeffrey,

past president of the Daughters of the Buccaneers,

for many, many years.

- Now... - One dollar.

Oh, can't we do better than that?

Who'll give me $20?

Do I hear $20?

Oh, the gentleman in the back just waved.

The gentleman in the back says, "$20."

Who'll give me $30?

Thirty dollars.

- Thirty-five dollars. - Forty.

Fifty dollars.

- Sixty dollars. - Seventy.

Do I hear $80?

- Eighty dollars! - One hundred dollars!

One hundred dollars bid. Do I hear $110?

Professor Baker, how about your nice young man in the back?

I don't think so. He just backed into his shell.

Very well. One hundred dollars, once.

One hundred dollars, twice.

Sold!

All right, move in.

One hundred dollars.

- Thank you. - Lot number two.

You got taken, buddy. This is a fake.

Take my advice, don't bid on anything else.

You mean the warming pan is fake, too?

That's tourist junk.

And Mr. Seymour don't like to see you throw your money away.

This bed warmer is believed to have been the property of Aldetha Teach,

tenth wife of our dear Captain Blackbeard.

If you want to bid, go ahead, but I don't think Mr. Seymour would like it.

Mrs. Starkey, how about starting the bidding for us?

No, thanks. I... I don't think so.

How about you, Mr. Finch?

Oh... No, no, thank you.

Mr. Harrison, you'll open the bidding for us, I know.