A Perfect Getaway

Guys Guys, we're doing a video for Cliff and Cydney.

What you wanna say?

First the big studio sale,

now the big wedding.

M.V.P. year for our boy Clifford.

I fucking hate you, Anderson!

Hey, when you're all famous,

don't forget your crew from film school?

Boys in the Wood Hood!

You dance with who brung ya, Cliff, you dance with who brung ya.

I mean, we wouldn't be here tonight if it wasn't me.

I mean, I brought her to that Black Eyed Peas concert.

I introduced them, I mean,

basically hooked them up.

One.

Two.

Two and a half.

Three!

And when he was ready to propose, finally,

I was the one that he practiced on to get it right.

So you gonna fuck him tonight, Rita?

I already did.

Can you...

Can you give me that, please?

Tommy!

My little brother getting married before me?

Yeah, I wonder why? Come on, your armpit smells like ass, ok?

I will kill you. Let the fuck up!

I came all the way from Michigan to do this one more time.

How does that feel?

Some of our friends did The Kalalau Trail last year

and came back with the most amazing pictures,

So they're going to Maui, right?

Kauai, the last island. Five here

Right there, number 5. One, two, three, four, five, right there.

It's called A dollar dance.

In 1967, it was a dollar dance.

Please, get a fifty. Get out of there.

I want you guys, to know how much I love you. I adore you.

And I hope you'll have the best time on your honeymoon.

And, make it something to remember.

Love you guys.

I think they just wanted to start off their lives together with some kind of adventure.

The red dot. Oh, there's a red dot, does nothing.

Are you comfortable?

Cut the camera.

Can I ask you a question, Mr. Cliff Anderson,

Yes. Of Venice Beach, California?

Yes, Mrs. Cydney Anderson,

formally Miss Cydney Carswell of Pacific Palisades, California.

How did you get this scar?

Oh, my God, I can't believe I didn't notice it before!

It's long story

and it involves...

homeland Security.

It's not funny and me

being unexpectedly pressed into service as a deputy air marshal.

And I don't really wanna talk about it.

Try again. A little less grandiose, thank you.

My brother,

hit me with his skateboard when I was nine.

Hey, which brother is this?

That'd be Tommy. The dick from Michigan.

I thought he said Maryland at the wedding.

Excuse me,

but whose brother is this?

I'm so sorry,

he's got like 16 brothers. ok?

All right, Tommy from Michigan A new wife should know these things.

Christ! Are you insane?

It's a rental.

Mrs. Cydney Anderson,

Mrs. Cydney Anderson No! Mrs. Cydney Anderson.

Listen, you know, it's like writing checks in January,

I know I'm gonna blow it.

Yeah, keep practicing.

Get back in here, my God!

I've never seen so many shades of green!

Hey, hey, get a picture of me.

Hey, hey!

Stop it.

Look, look!

Hey, hey. Look, look! Trekkers.

Hi! Hi!

Hey!

I'm gonna do that!

Kalalau! That trail right down there!

Did it myself, back in the day.

I'll show you what it's all for.

The most gorgeous dead-end God ever made!

You know, like drop me off right here. Forget the hike.

There's only two ways in and out, Cydney.

By foot or by kayak.

But that's what makes it so special.

Yeah, beautiful it is, brother.

How many days you allow?

One day in, one day at the beach and another day back.

Common mistake.

Why, you think I need more?

I don't know if you'll need more, but you'll sure want more.

As long as all your permits are updated so...

Yeah, yeah. See.

Ok. Yeah.

Because the rangers do get out and work the trail.

So you want to keep these close, Cliff.

All right. And these.

Did you miss me?

No, three days sounds plenty to me.

Oh man.

Nine whole minutes.

Do you realize,

that's the longest we've been apart since we got married?

You must have missed me something awful.

It's 11.5 miles each way, right?

Each way.

Tell me you miss me. What?

I'll give you a B.J. in the car.

Ok.

Another one!

Anyways,

check this out Cliff.

Now, you're gonna cross over five valleys,

Each time you do, you're gonna gain or lose a 1,000 feet of elevation.

That's the killer.

I missed you too, baby. What?

Oh, did you go somewhere?

You are so bad.

$475.35.

All right.

Yeah, I know, it looks like I robbed a bank.

It's our wedding haul.

Wassup? Wassup?

Scully.

Howzit, baby boy? It's good to be home.

Glad see back. Nowhere near Honolulu, were you?

No, on the other side. Waves was junk for three days.

No bettah over here.

Why, what's the stink in Lulu?

Maybe nuff for now.

Wanna help these two out to their car?

Yeah. I'll just dump my gear and be right with them.

Boy's gonna help you with your bags.

Aloha! Aloha!

Get an early start, brother.

Yeah, I will. Aloha!

Aloha.

Aloha.

I love our new life.

What are you doing?

It's Hawaii!

Just because we're in Hawaii we're gonna do things we don't normally do?

Like pick up hitchhikers?

Come on, nothing bad ever happens in Hawaii, right?

Mahalo!

Aloha!

So, how far are you going?

Lumahai Beach.

Lumahai Lumahai. I don't think we know that area.

It's about 10 miles ahead,

right on this road.

Right by where the big trail is.

You know that trail?

Yeah, the big trail.

But... we're not going that far, so...

So how far do you go?

Just up the road a bit.

So if you guys, you know, stay here for five more minutes,

I'm sure someone else will come along who...

We was waiting for, like, an hour before you stopped.

Maybe more.

Shit, thought this was Hawaii!

Sorry.

Come on.

Hey.

You guys, married?

Yeah. Yeah, we just got married.

Hold this.

Some of these pictures totally suck.

It's one of those cameras you chuck.

This one is a good one. Hey Cleo, what are you doing?

These people wanna see less of us. Not more.

Here it is.

That's us doing the deed on Oahu.

We just woke up one morning and decided to get married.

Pretty, isn't it?

Yeah, it's lovely. It's a...

Is this in a grocery store? Paula's Market.

They do it up real nice for you.

Yeah, yeah here is an onion.

Yeah. The produce manager took that picture.

I know it sounds kinda tacky but it's...

pretty frigging, pretty when they added all the little,

radishes in their own stuff.

All right, that's bizzare.

Hey baby, look at Kale and Cleo getting married on Oahu.

Yeah, suitable for framing.

You know what? We'll just drive you there.

10 miles, I mean, listen...

Could have been there by now.

Maybe next time?