Paul

Last week, Flash Gordon

defended the Witch Queen Azura

from the attack of the Death dwarfs.

Paul, having proclaimed himself King of Blue Magic Land

offered John the Hawkman the command of the army...

Go on, then, Paul.

Don't be long.

Paul?

Paul?

Paul.

- He winked at me! He winked at me! - Whoo!

I love it here.

You know, it feels so...

- Right. - Yeah.

We're 5,339 miles from home

and yet, somehow, I feel like we belong.

I know what you mean.

I think this is probably the most fun I have ever had.

I'm so glad we came, Clive.

Clive?

- May I? - Be my guest.

- Thank you. - I was over there, on my own.

That there is the Black Vampire.

Watch out.

She bites.

How much?

$1,349.99.

Aren't you gonna get it?

Fair enough.

I can't believe we're gonna meet Adam Shadowchild.

I know. He's, like, the coolest man in the world.

Thank you.

Come forth. Welcome, my friends.

I just wanted to say that the Planet Fall trilogy has been a huge influence

on me and on my work.

And Sebastian Rico is a wonderful protagonist.

Don't tell me. You're a writer.

- I am, yeah. - Well, good.

He actually won a Nebulon Award in 1992.

- I'm working on a follow-up. - Oh.

Oh, I'd love to see that.

Not today.

No, no. It's a legal thing.

I'm sure it's good.

That is a wonderful cover. Three tits.

Awesome.

- That was Graeme, my illustrator. - I'm an artist.

- Move along, please, guys. - Yes.

- Very nice to meet you. - No, no...

Thank you.

- You bought a book? - No.

Then fuck off.

Let's get a picture of you, me and Adam.

- Okay, ready. - Ready.

Yes.

Yes.

- Is that the RV place? - Yes.

And there's definitely two single beds?

Because there's been a bit of a mix-up at the hotel.

Okay. Excellent. Thank you very much.

And have a nice day to you, as well.

- Is it here? - It's in the car park.

I think you mean "the parking lot."

I sure do.

I did my American voice.

It's amazing, isn't it? We're actually here. America.

Huh?

How long have we dreamt about this?

- Since we were kids. - Yeah.

Now look at us. Grown men.

Pizza!

- Hi! - Hiya!

- Good evening, sir. - Come on in.

- Where can I set this down? - You could put it on the bed.

You guys on honeymoon?

No.

No, silly. We're just friends.

We had a mix-up. The reservations were messed up.

Pop it on the table here. Let me clear that.

- Ah, going on a road trip? - Yeah. Yes.

Well, you know, what better way to follow Comic-Con

than a tour of America's most famous UFO hotspots?

Huh?

We're going to Area 51 and the Black Mailbox in Nevada,

then down to Camp Verde, then to Apache Junction

and then on down to Roswell, New Mexico for the site of the famous crash of '47.

- No. - Everybody knows that.

Stop it! It's an alleged site at this point.

Why would they admit there was a crash,

if the crash happened somewhere else?

Let's just agree to disagree, all right?

That's what we always say at the end.

Do you believe in aliens?

What do you mean, "aliens"?

I'll sign that check, shall I?

Get that out of your way. Pizza grease on a map is the worst thing.

Thank you.

- Have a nice honeymoon. - Thank you.

That one.

Oh.

Oh! People!

Smile.

"Watch the skies" or "Alien on board"?

"Alien on board," please.

Okay. If you're sure.

So, how was Comic-Con?

We met Adam Shadowchild.

Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?

Oh, he wrote The Venusian Pangenesis.

I didn't read that one.

Jenny Starpepper and the Great Brass Hen?

No.

The Robot's Mistress?

I like romances.

That's kind of a romance.

- Between a woman and a machine? - Yeah.

I hear that.

So, you fellows set or can I get you something else?

Oh, I think I would like a refill of coffee, please, Pat.

All right, then. How about you, pumpkin?

Can I have an E.T. Malt, please?

Mmm. You want that with a sparkler?

Yeah.

I will take that as a yes.

I think I might do a toilet.

Pretty funny.

He's sitting right there on top of that bull,

and he goes, " Cut her loose."

What?

I don't know you.

Ooh.

Comics.

What was that about?

How you think that makes me feel?

Be rude to me?

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

Ooh! Eggy,

an alien just sicked up in my palms.

Clive...

What?

- I'm joking. - Stop it.

They've got a soap dispenser in there shaped like an alien's head. It's brilliant!

- Someone's here. - What?

Here it comes!

What in...

Hey, fellas! How you doing today?

What is this, some kind of gay bar?

No. Just a place where you can get a bite to eat

and maybe share a close encounter.

Yeah. It sounds like a gay bar.

Oh, no, we're just friends.

So, you guys look like you could do with a couple beers.

You go do that.

All right. You do that.

Yes.

Get a sip. I'll get this.

Just leave it.

Thank you very much.

What are you doing?

Don't you put those queer eyes on me.

I'm not. I forgot the sticker.

What took you so long?

- I was putting the sticker on. - Oh.

They were an odd pair, weren't they?

Yeah, definitely not my kind of people.

I doubt very much we'll be seeing them again.

Oh!

- That wasn't their truck, was it? - No.

- Should I go and have a look? - No!

The Black Mailbox.

Wow!

This is probably the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Do you remember when we Googled it on your mum's computer

and the phone rang and you thought it was the FBI?

I didn't really think it was the FBI.

- You started crying. - I had jet lag.

We'd only been to Brussels.

Go stand next to it. Yep.

Smile.

Very good.

Hey, imagine if we got buzzed by a craft.

That would be amazing, wouldn't it?

Smile!

What would you do if they actually landed?

Well, first contact is a big responsibility, isn't it?

They come in peace, we go to pieces? Uh-uh.

That's not how I roll.

No.

What's that?

Do you think that's those men?

No.

We've seen enough.

Let's go.

Go, go, go!

Oh, they're gaining.

This is like Deliverance!

They're going to rape us and break our arms!

I don't want my arms broken!

- I need the toilet. - You've just been!

You know I've got a child's bladder.