Tales of Manhattan

GOOD AFTERNOON, GENTLEMEN.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

THIS WAY, PLEASE.

MR. ORMAN IS JUST GETTING UP.

FAMOUS PEOPLE GENERALLY SLEEP LATE.

YOU MAY OPEN IT, MR. MARTELLI.

YES, MR. LONGHEART.

UH...

NO.

GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.

GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. ORMAN.

GOOD AFTERNOON.

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?

FAIR.

LOOK AT THE SHOULDERS.

HOW DO YOU LIKE THOSE LAPELS?

AUTIFUL.

IT'LL LOOK BETTER ON YOU, SIR.

NO. ALWAYS LOOKS BETTER ON HIM.

HE'S MORE RELAXED.

LUTHER?

A FLOWER.

LOOK AT HIM. NOTHING WORRIES HIM.

HA HA.

I SEE YOU'RE NOT SUPERSTITIOUS.

NOT IN THE LEAST.

THAT'S FORTUNATE.

WHY?

WELL, BECAUSE BERTOLDI...

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

OH, NOTHING. NOTHING.

WELL, IF YOU WANT TO KNOW,

THIS SUIT HAS BEEN CURSED.

CURSED?

YES. YOU REMEMBER BERTOLDI, OUR CUTTER?

YES. WHAT ABOUT HIM?

I HAD TO DISMISS HIM ON ACCOUNT OF THIS SUIT.

HOW COME?

WE ARGUED ABOUT THESE LAPELS.

THEY'RE PERFECT.

AREN'T THEY? WHEN BERTOLDI LEFT,

HE WAS RED IN THE FACE WITH RAGE.

HE ASSERTED THIS SUIT WOULD BRING MISFORTUNE

TO ANYBODY WHO EVER WORE IT.

HE CURSED IT.

THIS IS THE BEST SUIT THAT I HAVE EVER MADE.

I KNOW IT WILL BRING YOU GOOD LUCK.

THIS IS A LUCKY SUIT, MR. ORMAN.

AND I GUARANTEE YOUR HAPPINESS IN IT.

ANTHONY, I DEMAND AN ANSWER.

IS IT TRUE?

UNFORTUNATELY...

YES.

NO...

NO. NO.

TERRIFIC, PAUL! A SMASH HIT!

THEY ATE IT UP!

THE BIGGEST OPENING NIGHT OF THE SEASON.

YOU HELD THEM IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND EVERY SECOND-

JUST LIKE THAT!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WHERE YOU GOING?

CHIEF!

WAIT A MINUTE!

CHIEF!

HURRY! THEY'RE WAITING FOR YOU!

COME ON, PAUL! THEY'RE YELLING FOR YOU!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

ARE YOU MAD?

YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE 10 OR 12 MORE CURTAIN CALLS.

IMPOSSIBLE. WHERE'S LUTHER?

LUTHER?

YOU CAN'T DO THIS!

WHAT AM I GOING TO TELL THEM-

THAT YOU'RE CRAZY OR SOMETHING?

TELL THEM I DON'T CARE TO STEP OUT OF CHARACTER.

WHAT CHARACTER?

I AM DEAD, REMEMBER?

AW, CHIEF, PLEASE!

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

I'M YOUR MANAGER. I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW.

WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?

GO TO MY APARTMENT AND WAIT THERE.

I'LL CALL IF I HAVE ANY NEWS.

STEP ON IT, LUTHER.

BOSS, YOU WERE REALLY HOT TONIGHT.

THAT LAST SCENE WAS A DILLY.

I'M NOT INTERESTED. HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE?

WE CAN SHAVE OFF 10 MINUTES IF WE DON'T GET STOPPED.

GOOD.

WE'LL BE THERE IN 15 MINUTES.

GO ON.

TELL ME WHAT EVERYBODY SAYS.

JUST WHAT I TOLD YOU.

YOU WERE LUCKY TO GET RID OF HER LAST YEAR.

IT WAS MORE THAN LUCK.

IT WAS A BLESSING.

WHY DID I HAVE THREE FLOPS IN A ROW?

BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT SHE COULD ACT.

THE MINUTE I COME ON STAGE WITHOUT HER,

LOOK WHAT HAPPENS. A SMASH HIT.

YOU SAID IT, BOSS.

BUT WHAT BEATS ME IS

WHY YOU WANT TO START EVERYTHING OVER AGAIN.

NEVER MIND.

WHY ARE YOU SLOWING DOWN?

GET GOING.

GOOD EVENING, SIR. I BEG YOUR PARDON.

WERE YOU INVITED?

OH, MR. ORMAN.

HOW SWEET OF YOU.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

I'M SO GLAD YOU CAME.

PAUL-

GOOD EVENING.

YOU FOOL. WHY DID YOU COME?

LOVE. IT SOMETIMES BLINDS ME.

AFTER WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH TODAY.

HE'LL SEE YOU NOW.

THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT HE'LL DO.

WHO? YOUR HUSBAND?

YES.

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU

WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS PAST YEAR?

HE SUSPECTS US CONSTANTLY.

THE MERE MENTION OF YOUR NAME,

HE RAVES LIKE A MADMAN.

THE LUNACY MUST BE A STRAIN ON YOU.

PATHETIC.

THIS IS NO TIME TO JOKE.

PLEASE, YOU MUST GO.

I'VE ARRANGED EVERYTHING PERFECTLY FOR US,

AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN EVERYTHING I'VE DONE.

YOU ARE SO COMPLETELY BEWILDERED

THAT YOU HAVEN'T EVEN ASKED ME HOW THE OPENING WAS.

I OPENED IN A PLAY TONIGHT, IF YOU REMEMBER.

OH, FORGIVE ME. HOW WAS IT?

A SMASH.

WENT LIKE A HOUSE AFIRE.

AND YOU?

AT MY BEST.

I'M SO GLAD.

THANK YOU.

PLEASE GO, PAUL.

I'LL BE IN TOWN TOMORROW 00 TO SEE YOU.

OH, YOU WILL?

CERTAINLY. AS WE PLANNED.

YOU LITTLE TWO-FACED LIAR.

PAUL, YOU'RE MAD.

TOMORROW, EH?

NO. YOU WILL NOT SEE ME TOMORROW OR EVER AGAIN-

UNLESS YOU BUY A TICKET TO THE BOX OFFICE.

I'M SAYING GOODBYE FOREVER.

YOU CAME OUT HERE TO SAY GOODBYE TO ME?

NO. I CAME OUT HERE TO PLEAD WITH YOU,

TO HOLD YOU, KISS YOU,

FALL AT YOUR FEET.

YOU'VE EVIDENTLY CHANGED YOUR MIND.

YES, WHEN YOU LIED AGAIN.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS TO LOOK INTO A WOMAN'S EYES

WHEN SHE IS LYING?

FORGIVE ME.

I SHOULD BE MORE TOLERANT WITH A LIAR.

I HAVE BEEN ONE MYSELF SO OFTEN.

WE'LL PART WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ARGUMENT-

QUIETLY AND CALMLY.

I KNOW EVERYTHING.

YOU'RE GOING WITH HIM 00

ON A PLANE TO CANADA... TO HUNT MOOSE.

OH. SO THAT'S THE POINT.

YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM YOU WERE THROUGH WITH HIM.

YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM YOU LOVE ME.

INSTEAD, YOU HELD YOUR HUSBAND AND SAID,

"YES, DARLING, I'LL GO WITH YOU ANYWHERE.

"I AM YOUR GOOD AND LOYAL WIFE.

I LOVE ONLY YOU. NOBODY ELSE."

HAH.

PAUL, PLEASE. YOU MUST GO-

JOHN.

LOOK WHO DROPPED IN.

HELLO, MR. ORMAN. GLAD TO SEE YOU.

HOW ARE YOU, SIR?

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE EXPECTING

THE CELEBRATED MR. ORMAN TONIGHT.

I DIDN'T TELL YOU, BUT I WAS.

PAUL OPENED IN A NEW SHOW TONIGHT.

OH, YES. SO THE NEW SHOW WAS A FLOP, EH?

NO. ON THE CONTRARY, IT WAS A MAGNIFICENT SUCCESS.

I'M SPENDING THE WEEKEND A FEW MILES FROM HERE.

I DROPPED IN TO WISH YOU HAPPY HUNTING...

IN CANADA, ISN'T IT?

YES. I DO ALL MY HUNTING IN CANADA.

OH, WHOA THERE.

NOT SO FAST.

A DRINK, MR. ORMAN?

NO, THANKS.

ETHEL?

NO. DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE HAVING TOO MANY, DEAR?

FRANKLY, NO.

AND YOU'RE MIXING THEM, TOO.