Goodbye Berlin (Tschick)

Tschick!

Actually, I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Tatjana.

Even though she had nothing to do with the whole thing.

Is what I'm talking about hard to follow?

Yeah, well, sorry.

Tatjana Cosic isn't even part of the story.

The prettiest girl in the world plays no part.

My vacation.

For summer last year we went to the sea.

We were stuck in our rubber dingy.

The paddles were in the water.

It got pretty hot in the sun.

Luckily the coast guard got us out.

Maik!

They rescued us. Thank God.

Put in some effort next time, Justin.

Sit down.

Who's next?

It's my birthday in three weeks.

First Saturday of summer.

Party! There'll be an invite. Love, Tatjana.

Vacation. Water. Rescue. God.

Maik Klingenberg.

Please come up.

Maik, sometime today.

My mother and the beauty farm. By Maik Klingenberg.

I like my mother. She's not like other mothers.

She can be very funny.

Most moms aren't.

My mother plays tennis.

She's the family tennis nut.

She won the club championship even with a bottle of vodka in her system.

Need help, mom?

It's all right.

This conversation often comes up:

Mrs. Weber asks my mother:

Are you in the summer match, Mrs. Klingenberg?

Don't worry. I'll be gone.

Where to?

The beauty farm.

Then somebody at the table who didn't know the phrase

always threw out the clever quip:

You don't need help with that, Mrs. Klingenberg.

That's a joke. It's a rehab facility.

We'd walk home hand in hand since she was no longer capable of driving.

I carried her heavy racket bag and she said to me,

"You can't learn much from me. But two things you can learn:"

"First, you can talk about anything."

"Second, what others think doesn't mean shit."

Psycho!

Quiet, please.

Thanks, Maik.

I'm not finished.

How much longer is it?

Six pages.

That'll do for today.

Was that funny to you?

Maik?

It's your mother.

Did you think about that?

Your mother.

Do you get that?

I get that my mother is my mother.

Your story was the most sickening, unsavory, and shameless

I've encountered in 30 years of teaching.

You should rip these pages out.

I don't mean literally, I mean think about what you've done.

Really think!

Quite clearly, I'd made a big mistake. But I didn't know what I'd done wrong.

Wagenbach didn't tell me, and I still don't know.

He told me to think.

But all I could think about was Tatjana's birthday.

It was all anybody talked about.

I heard Tatjana's uncle is bringing his own beer tap with 100 liters.

Wow! I already ordered condoms on Amazon.

Word was that everyone would be invited.

I tried desperately to think of a present for her.

A HAPPY NEW HOME

It had to be something special. But I couldn't come up with anything.

And then I hit on an idea.

...the bankruptcy guy? That jerk can kiss my ass.

Hey, Maik, there's a front door too.

Do you know what I'm going to do to those eco-fascists?

I guess I wanted her to see I put a lot of effort into it.

If you put in a lot of effort, people guess why.

Good morning.

Come up front with me.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please,

we've got a new classmate.

His name is Andrej.

Tsch... Tschicha...tschoroff.

Please?

Tschichatschow.

Would you like to tell us about yourself, where you're from?

I don't care.

Okay, fine, I will then.

Or would you rather I not?

Go ahead.

So, Andrej...

Tschi-chow is our new classmate's name,

and he's from the vast expanses of Russia.

Right away I couldn't stand Tschick.

No one could.

Tschick was trash, and he looked the part.

I had a rotten feeling about him up there with Wagenbach:

two assholes for the price of one. - ...now he's here at our high school.

And all that in just four years.

Isn't that something? Was that right? - About 90% of it.

Well then, fine.

We can't have you up here all day, as nice as it is chatting with you.

Please take the open desk

in the second row next to Maik Klingenberg.

Laila, could you please wipe the blackboard?

And so, everyone take out their notebooks...

A scent wafted over that almost knocked me over.

It was the smell of my mother on a bad day.

Something just had to happen after his performance with Wagenbach.

It was sure to be interesting.

But then nothing happened in the next few days.

Then a week later, we got our math test back.

Here Kevin, a D -.

I put mercy above justice.

A miracle happened!

One of you got an A+.

Not you.

You either.

Andrej,

congratulations.

Go to the board and show us how you solved problem 2.

New shoes? Stolen for sure!

Tschick! - Hey, Putin!

Drunk as a skunk?

What do you want?

That fired up the rumor machine:

like that Tschick's family was Russian mafia.

There was no other explanation for how

he shut that fool down with just few words.

This came for you today!

Thanks!

Then, on the last day of school...

For Justin.

I'd have been the happiest guy in the universe

if finally an invite found its way to me...

Hey, Maik.

Hey Psycho, give it here.

It's for me.

Maik Klingenberg.

Here you go.

Everyone had a little green invite.

Almost everyone.

Tschick didn't get one either.

Big surprise.

No invite for the psycho or the weirdo.

Maik!

I completely forgot you!

Here's your invite. I hope you can make it.

I'd be so disappointed if you, of all people, couldn't make it.

I hope you thought of my present.

Of course, I can depend on you!

See you there.

I'm so happy you're coming!

Have a nice summer, Klingenberg.

Ultra kick-ass jacket.

What? - Your jacket.

I'll buy it.

It's my favorite. Not for sale.

Where can I get one?

Hey, wait up! Where are you going?

Did you get held back? - Why are you shouting?

Did you fail? - No.

Bunch of Ds, eh? - No idea.

No idea? If I'm bugging you, say the word.

I don't know.

You don't know if I bug you? - I don't know if I got Ds.

I didn't look yet. You didn't check your report card?

Way to play it cool!

What are you up to now? - Going home.

And then? - None of your damn business.

Hey Maik,

ultra kick-ass jacket!

Mom?

Mom?

I'm going back to the beauty farm tomorrow.

Maik?

Turn down the music.

I have a business meeting.

I'm being picked up soon.

How long?

14 days or so. Is that all right?

I'll leave you 200 euros.

So you don't get into trouble.

Why do you hang in here?

We have a pool.

How much do you think it cost me?

Hi.

Hello.

I'm Mona. What's your name?

Maik.

It's hot, huh?

It's supposed to get hotter.