Six Feet Under

TAD? IS THAT YOU?

YOU'RE EARLY.

Time to kiss your sweet ass goodbye, cupcake.

SERIOUSLY, SEVERAL PEOPLE TOLD ME.

THAT MY SCENE IS REALLY, LIKE, THE ONLY ONE THAT'S EVEN REMOTELY SCARY.

BECKY, YOU MAKE A MAJOR IMPACT IN THIS MOVIE.

MAJOR.

LIKE, SOMEBODY EVEN SAID THAT ANGELICA'S SCENE,

IT WASN'T EVEN SCARY AT ALL.

LIKE, IT WAS FUNNY,

AND, UH, NOT IN A GOOD WAY.

WE HAVE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU DON'T GET PIGEON-HOLED NOW,

WHICH IS WHY I THINK YOU SHOULDN'T SHOW YOUR TITS ANYMORE.

WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT!

I KNOW,

IT MAKES FUCKING BLAIR WITCH 2 LOOK LIKE TITANIC.

IT'S JUST SO FUCKING GRATUITOUS!

WELL, I THINK THAT WHAT MAKES THIS MOVIE DIFFERENT

IS THAT THE VIOLENCE ISN'T SO GRATUITOUS.

IT'S MORE LIKE THE WHOLE MOVIE IS ABOUT

THE WHOLE PSYCHOLOGICAL NATURE OF FEAR.

I TOTALLY MAXED OUT HIS VISA CARD PAYING FOR IT.

THEN SOMEBODY IN JOE ROTH'S OFFICE SAW IT AND SAID IT WAS GENIUS.

AND NOW WE HAVE, LIKE, 3 MEETINGS.

SERIOUSLY, YOU COULD WRITE IT.

I MEAN, I'VE READ YOUR POETRY AND IT'S REALLY GOOD.

I THINK I SHOULD DIRECT IT, TOO.

YEAH, AND... AND WE SHOULD HAVE, LIKE, THIS REALLY HOT SEX SCENE,

ALL, LIKE, GRITTY AND REAL.

YOU KNOW, LIKE, EUROPEAN.

I'M NOT SHOWING MY ASS.

MY MANAGER SAYS I NEED TO STOP SHOWING MY ASS.

YOU HAVE A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER.

STUCK TO YOUR SHOE.

SHUT UP! WHERE?

OH, HONEY.

HONEY, HONEY, IT'S NOT WORKING.

WHAT?

NO, NO, NO, NO. IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN FOR ME.

UH-UH.

IT'S NOT. IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN FOR ME.

I'M SORRY.

WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING. DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY.

OH, DON'T MAKE THIS ABOUT ME.

OH, WHAT? AM I NOT ALLOWED TO NOT HAVE SEX FOR ONCE?

IS THAT WHAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOW?

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU WOKE ME UP BY GOING DOWN ON ME.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

MAYBE THAT CAR ACCIDENT WE HAD

GAVE ME SOME WEIRD, OLIVER-SACKS-BLOW-TO-THE-HEAD DISEASE.

MMM.

SORRY. MY WHOLE LIFE SEEMS LIKE A BAD DREAM.

IT'S LIKE...

IT'S LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE'S LIFE.

LIKE, IF MY LIFE WERE A MOVIE,

I'D FALL ASLEEP OR I'D WALK OUT.

ARE YOU, UH...

YOU STILL NOT SEEING ANY CLIENTS?

MMM-MMM, I CAN'T.

I JUST...

I CAN'T FACE IT.

YOU KNOW,

SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO FORCE YOURSELF TO BE ACTIVE.

WHEN YOU'RE, YOU KNOW...

LIKE WHAT?

WHEN YOU'RE WHAT?

YOU THINK I'M DEPRESSED?

ARE YOU?

YEAH.

DOESN'T MEAN I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT.

MMM, OK.

THIS IS MY SISTER-IN-LAW, ANGIE.

UH, ANGELICA.

IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.

LIKEWISE. AND, UM, THIS IS BRODY FARRELL.

YO.

ARE YOU THE NEXT OF KIN?

NO.

BECKY'S PARENTS DIED WHEN SHE WAS 2.

SHE WAS RAISED BY HER GRANDMOTHER,

WHO ALSO DIED.

SHE DIDN'T REALLY HAVE ANYBODY, EXCEPT US.

I SEE. CAN I ASK WHO WILL BE...

OH, THE CAST OF THE MOVIE.

WE'RE ALL PITCHING IN TO PAY FOR IT.

WELL, UM,

WE'RE GOING TO NEED ONE PERSON TO BE DESIGNATED AS THE...

OH, BRODY WILL DO THAT.

YEAH.

SHE WAS SORT OF MY GIRLFRIEND.

NOW, DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF SERVICE YOU'D LIKE?

CHEAP.

WELL, WE PROVIDE A VARIETY OF SERVICES

FOR THE MORE BUDGET-CONSCIOUS CLIENT.

OH, SORRY. JUST LET ME TURN THIS OFF.

TAKE IT.

I CAN HANDLE IT.

WELL, PLEASE EXCUSE ME.

DAVID FISHER.

Hi, David. It's Kevin Miller.

You answered my personal ad in the L.A. Weekly.

I'm the fireman.

YES, HI. HI, OF COURSE.

WELL, WE CAN START WITH THE MOST SIMPLE OF TRADITIONAL FUNERALS

WHICH WOULD INCLUDE OUR AMERICAN EAGLE CASKET HERE.

I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD BURY HER.

BECKY WAS, LIKE, TOTALLY TERRIFIED OF THE DARK.

WELL, WE CAN STILL HAVE A VIEWING

DURING WHICH THE CASKET WILL NEVER BE CLOSED,

FOLLOWED BY A CREMATION.

THAT'S GOOD.

AND THEN WE COULD SCATTER HER ASHES SOME PLACE SHE REALLY LIKED.

LIKE GRIFFITH PARK,

OR THE LAVA LOUNGE ON LA BREA.

YEAH. YEAH.

I MEAN, I... I THINK WE CAN SKIP THE CASKET.

WELL, YOU SOUND LIKE A REALLY NICE GUY, TOO.

Well, I am a really nice guy.

So, do you want to meet for coffee later this afternoon?

THIS AFTERNOON? UH, SURE, SURE. I HAVE SOMETHING AT 3:00,

BUT I CAN MEET YOU AFTER THAT.

Great, let's say at 4:00, at the Up All Night Coffee House.

I'll be wearing a red baseball cap.

GREAT, I LOVE RED. I MEAN, IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE COLORS

OF WHICH I HAVE SEVERAL.

Ok, see you then.

YEAH, OK.

NOW, THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL AND UNUSUAL CREMAINS VESSEL.

THE ASHES ACTUALLY FILL THESE DOLPHINS, WHICH ARE CARVED OUT INSIDE.

SHE WASN'T REALLY INTO DOLPHINS.

I REMEMBER SOMEBODY SUGGESTING SHE BOYCOTT TUNA, YOU KNOW,

BECAUSE OF THE WHOLE DOLPHINS-GETTING-CAUGHT. - IN-THE-NET THING.

"FUCK DOLPHINS. I WANT A NICOISE SALAD."

AND WHAT ARE THESE?

THOSE ARE KEEPSAKE MINIATURE URNS.

SORT OF LIKE LOCKETS, IF YOU WILL.

SO EVERYBODY CAN GET A PIECE OF HER.

YES, IT'S AN OLD CUSTOM FROM THAILAND.

BECKY LOVED THAI FOOD.

SO WHAT DID I MISS?

HEY.

I'M SORRY I'M LATE.

WHY WEREN'T YOU AT SCHOOL TODAY?

I WAS IN SCHOOL TODAY.

I JUST WASN'T IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

I MEAN, WHO NEEDS TO KNOW THAT SHIT ANYWAYS, RIGHT?

WELL, SOMEBODY WHO WANTS TO HAVE SOME CONCEPT OF HOW THE WORLD WORKS

SO THEY CAN HAVE A FUCKING CHANCE IN LIFE.

WHOA, WHAT CRAWLED UP YOUR ASS?

IT'S ALL LIES ANYWAYS.

WHERE WERE YOU?

ANDY AND I SKIPPED OUT AFTER LUNCH.

WE WENT TO THE CAR MUSEUM.

DID YOU GET HIGH?

YEAH.

I'M 18 YEARS OLD, LIVING IN FUCKING CALIFORNIA.

I'M NOT ALLOWED TO GET HIGH?

HEY, I'M WORRIED ABOUT YOU, GABE.

IN CASE YOU DON'T REMEMBER, I HAVE GOOD REASON TO BE.

I'M...

I'M SORRY, OK?

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME, I SWEAR.

JUST PLEASE DON'T LIE TO ME.

I'M NOT.

I'M OK

AND I'M GONNA STAY OK

AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR TEST RESULTS.

WELL, I HAVE SOME VERY GOOD NEWS.

YOU TESTED NEGATIVE FOR THE H.I.V. ANTIBODY.

OH, THANK GOD.

YOU NEED TO BE TESTED AGAIN IN 6 MONTHS, JUST TO BE SAFE.

LET'S SEE, NEGATIVE FOR CHLAMYDIA,

ALL HEPATITISES, SYPHILIS.

OOH, POSITIVE FOR GONORRHEA.

WHAT?

YEAH.

HAVE YOU HAD ANY PAIN OR DIFFICULTY URINATING?

NO.