Bella and the Bulldogs

- Ladies, gentlemen, and assorted stuffed animals,

welcome to the Annual Bulldogs' Team Banquet and Roast.

- I don't know if I'm comfortable doing this.

- Bella, look, I know you don't like

making fun of people, all right?

But the team looks forward to this roast every year,

And as QB, your job is to insult the team

and your jokes need to be on point.

Trust me. I did it last year.

And I killed.

Okay, I got this.

- All right. Now, remember, don't hold back.

Okay.

Knock knock. - Who's there?

Bulldogs boo.

Bulldogs boo who?

- Why are you crying, Bulldogs?

Can't you handle my rocket-fast passes?

Sha-booyah!

Huh? Yeah?

Oh, what's that, Sugarcube?

If you had legs, you'd leave the room?

I feel ya.

Bella, look, it needs to be meaner and more personal.

Really?

I don't want anyone to take it the wrong way.

- They won't. That's the whole point of a roast.

It's a chance to say anything and everything

you've been thinking about the team.

There have to be some things you've thought,

but haven't said out loud.

- Well, there may be a few things.

I started a journal when I joined the team.

- That's just since you joined the team?

- That's just since last month.

Oh, I have to see that.

- No, I...I don't think you want to.

It's pretty Troy-heavy.

- All right, but I'm an expert at this.

I just wanna make sure you look good

by making us look bad.

I can handle this.

Oh, yeah, I can handle this.

- Pass...pass me that-- - No.

When I joined the football team,

I was worried that I wasn't man enough.

then I walked in on you guys dancing

to the girliest pop song ever

and I realized I may not be woman enough!

- That's what I'm talking about! Yeah!

[laughing, cheering, applauding]

She got you guys.

- What are you laughing at, Coach?

It was your CD.

Ohhhh!

Yeah. Mine.

Newt, good news, buddy.

I talked to Sophie

and she's finally willing to go out with you.

Here are a few dates she has open.

The 12th of Never.

- The day you wake up as Harry Styles.

Oh, and when pigs fly!

- Sawyer has a pig and I have a zip line, so...

brunch?

No.

And where's The Troy?

Is he listening or just staring into a shiny spoon

to see how good he looks? - What?

Oh, you got me!

- Seriously, have you been to the Starcade with this guy?

He tells you where to sit, what to order,

and what compliments to give him.

No, it's true. It's true.

Last week, he told me to order a large pepperoni pizza

and compliment his chewin' skills.

He got you, brah.

- Seriously? I don't even know you, brah.

Back up.

All right, guys, very funny. Let's leave the jokes to Bella.

Who's next?

No, do more Troy jokes.

More! Yeah!

- Wait, okay, serious question.

Does anyone smell something funky?

Oh, wait, it's Sawyer's gym locker.

I can smell it all the way from here!

Woo! Ooh!

- Yeah, that's what we all say

any time we walk past it. Woo! Ooh!

His locker is such a mess,

a rat reported him to the Board of Health.

- And this guy has a girlfriend?

Oh, poor Pepper.

I hope that necklace doubles as a flea collar.

- Okay, boys, that's all the time I've got.

QB, out.

Thank you very much.

How great was that?

Yeah. It was, um...mean.

But in a good way.

Funny, I guess.

I'll see you later. - Pepper?

What the...?

Flirty punching?

Oh, heck, no.

Hi, Sophie, I love your shirt, who's this guy?

Oh, this is Tanner.

He's in my after-school karate class.

- What's up, brah? - Are we brahs?

Anyway, I have to go.

See you at 4 o'clock, Tanner.

Oh, so, brah...

I was working at Steaky's during the roast.

Hilarious.

- Uh-huh. - And eye-opening.

I see you around Sophie so much,

I figured you guys were going out.

But then I heard Bella say

that you've been turned down more times

than a bed at the Silverado Inn.

- That joke was well constructed.

But what's your point?

I just wanted to check.

Sophie's definitely not your girlfriend, right?

Well, at the moment, no,

but I'm on my way to pick up a pig

who's not afraid of heights, so...

Okay, good to know you're not together

because I'm gonna ask her out at karate class.

Later, brah.

- Oh, that is not happening, brah.

What was that?

Uh, I, uh...I said...

you are so happening, brah.

Right back at ya.

Oh, hey, Bella.

Look, I was up all night thinking about your roast.

- Great, don't tell me you have a problem with it, too.

- No, you were the roaster. You were just doing your job.

But the other guys took it too far.

- I thought you said the roast

was supposed to be all in good fun.

- Yeah, well, that was before they so rudely

accused me of being bossy.

I am not bossy.

They just need me to tell them what to do--

all the time.

Well, you know what?

Let's see how they do on their own.

- Hey, Pepper. Did I say something wrong?

Was it that flea collar line?

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to roast you, too.

It wasn't that.

It was some of the stuff you said about Sawyer.

I mean, why'd you have to exaggerate so much?

Exaggerate?

His locker really is kind of...disgusting.

- Are you sure? That doesn't sound like Sawyer.

- I'm telling you, if you saw it,

you would understand.

Actually, let me show you.

Come on. - Oh, but my pizza.

- Don't worry, I'm sure there's some in his locker.

Go-o-o-a-a-a-al!

Now I'm bored.

Troy, what should we do?

- Well, I was thinking and maybe you guys are right.

Maybe I am too bossy.

So, perhaps we should let someone else make a choice.

Ricky, Luis, how about you?

Paint-a-Plate!

Paint-a-Plate?

Please, my grandma goes there with all her old lady friends

and all their old lady smells.

- Now, now, now, guys. I'm sure everyone would love it.

Okay.

- Or hate it.

- If I'd known it was more than just plates,

I would have actually gone to my grandma's birthday parties.

Come on, it wasn't that good.

- Are you kidding? It was the best.

- My only limit was my imagination.

- See? Even Quiet Chris liked it.

Yeah.

So, what shall we do tomorrow, team leaders?

- Uh, you sure you don't want me to pick?