Stage Fright

Stand by, electrics 120.

Go.

Stand by, mist.

Look at your mother.

She's got great pipes and she's fierce.

So fierce, I'm enchanted.

Electrics 130, go. One-forty, go.

Bravo!

- Mommy, you were so good! - Give me kisses.

- You're all sweaty. - Then you get sweaty kisses.

- Ew! - Be nice to your mother;

She's a big star now.

Your autograph, please, Ms. Swanson?

Anything for my biggest fan.

Guess who finally made it tonight?

The Times?

Lawrence Gibbs is absolutely in love with you.

That's great! That's great.

Congratulations, Mr. Producer.

You should get ready now, my love.

- OK. - Tonight, we celebrate.

- Should I take the twins? - Sure.

OK, you go with Mr. McCall.

See you later.

Watch where you're goin', little girl.

Hello?

Ah!

Very funny.

Where'd you get that?

You know you can't be in here, right?

Better put that mask back,

or they'll have your head.

Oh, honey, we can't do this now.

I have to get dressed.

Mmm. Oh.

Oh. Not now.

Ah.

Oh!

- Ow, Sam, you're hurting me! - Don't touch my hair!

Little Mermaid, less singing, more cooking.

It's time to feed the freaks.

Can't wait to get the hell out of here for good.

- And do what? - Make lots of money.

Start our own restaurant.

It's time to start thinking about this stuff.

- "I don't wanna think about it." - Stop it.

"I want to live here my whole life."

Stop it. Get away. - Stop it!

What's going on here?

I got it.

I got it!

Did you make this mess?

What's the show this year?

Aha. It's gonna be a knockout.

Broadway agents, Broadway scouts.

We're gonna be back in New York before you know it.

What is it?

Your mother... God bless her... would be proud.

You're good.

Break a leg.

Woo!

Woo!

Campers and counsellors, I believe that you will

agree with me that after last Summer's

bold musical re-imagining of The Vagina Monologues,

this young man has established himself

as the next Hal Prince. Here he is now,

the director of this Summer's.

Limelight showcase,

Artie Getz!

Artie will be announcing

this Summer's Limelight production.

Haunting Of The Opera!

I think he thinks it could help his career.

What career? He hasn't produced anything in 10 years.

Well, if doing the play again can help him

get back to New York, that's a good thing.

- For all of us. - You always seem to forget:

He's not our father.

Maybe I could even audition.

You actually wanna compete with those theatre geeks?

Those kids aren't normal, Cam. Look at them.

The entire musical theatre canon is just begging...

begging!... for its themes to be exploded outwards.

Watch, I bet he casts himself as Alfonso.

Uh, for those of you wondering, yes, I will be playing Alfonso.

Yep.

It's probably 'cause he wants you to play Opera Ghost.

Or 'cause he wants to make out with me again.

Which is the very essence of post-structuralism in theatre today,

and that's why our production of Haunting...

will take place...

in feudal Japan.

- I'm not hearing anything. - Itth brilliant.

- Woo! - (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING)

- (CHEERING IN OTHER ROOM) - They're not gonna

let a cook steal a role from a camper who pays to go here.

Shut your fucking face!