40 Dates and 40 Nights

Wow.

Welcome to Bing Bop Toys, home of the talking Teddy Bears.

This is Leah.

All right, cut the crap. You're off the clock.

Whoa, what?

What are you doing working on a weekend, you psycho?

My Manolos don't pay for themselves.

Where are you?

-I'm at... I'm at Buzz's. -Oh.

The part-time bubble soccer instructor?

He's athletic.

Is that what we're calling it these days?

He's hot.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Oh.

-Show me the room. -I'm not showing you the room.

-Show me the room. -Fine.

Ew.

Ugh. Who are you dating again?

His name is Ben.

At least I think it is.

There's been a couple this month, so it's been confusing.

Yeah, I know, you have a menagerie of Bens.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

Anyway, ew, oh, okay, I'm hanging up.

Bye.

Hey.

Hey, uh...

You're on the pill, right?

Why?

Uh, you know, it's actually, it's probably fine.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Uh, what's... what's probably fine?

Okay, word. Um...

It snapped.

It snapped?

Yeah, like... pfft.

Snapped.

No, I know what that means.

In half.

-Phew. Okay, okay. -Cool.

We can go to the store.

We'll go to the store, and that's cute.

We can go to the pharmacy together.

No, I can't.

You can't?

No.

I'm getting ready for my callback, babe.

It's like a possible callback, so...

That's not how callbacks work, I'm pretty sure.

Look, you're really, really hot.

Thank you.

Like I really would like to just...

Again.

You're awesome. Like, a solid six outta 10.

Here. It's not a bad place to be.

But my career's kinda like taking off right now, you know?

And I can't have anybody getting in the way of that, so.

I mean, it wouldn't be fair, you know?

To the fans.

To your fans?

The fans from the background modeling job

that you did for Home Goods?

Those fans.

I got like 250 followers outta that gig.

I'm crushing it.

Right.

So, if you would excuse me.

I got a callback to prep for.

Running a little low over here, Tilda.

How long has it been since we lost Buddy?

It'd be five years this Saturday.

Sweet man.

Lord rest his soul.

He gave you a wonderful life, Georgia.

Don't give him all the credit.

We built that saddle company together.

-He was lovely. -He was a prince.

Unlike my scoundrel of an ex.

Screw him and the horse he rode in on.

I'm ashamed to say it might have been on one of our saddles.

I just love our little gatherings.

So, Marly is getting ready for her first baby?

And you got one marching down the aisle soon, Edith.

June 7.

Don't you forget it.

What?

What?

-Well? -Well, what?

Come on, Georgia, how's Leah?

How's my drink, Tilda?

Of course.

Excuse me.

Hi.

You, yeah.

Um hi, could I get a Baby Free.

Hmm?

Could...

Could I get a Baby Free?

A what?

A Baby Free.

What is that?

Could I get into this box, please?

I see you.

-Nice. -Okay.

-Do you have the key? -No, I don't. Uh...

I gotta get my manager for that.

Great, that'd be great.

Scarlett?

Scarlett?

What do you need Scarlett for?

Oh, she needs the Baby Free.

Oh.

That's me.

Yeah, I don't know where she's at.

No, me neither.

Well, could you call her, please.

-Oh, yeah. -Totally.

Hey, Scarlett,

got a customer that needs a Baby Free.

Can you bring up the safe sex keys for the Baby Free?

Scarlett?

It'll just be a couple of minutes.

Yeah.

Scarlett, she's in a hurry.

We gotta get the Baby Free out.

Hey, baby!

-Hi. -What's the brand you prefer?

Um I don't know if I heard correctly,

but I think she might need the Baby Free.

And I'll do the box of extra- long Platinum Ultra-Guards.

Certainly.

You can't wield a sword without a shield, now, can we?

-Uh, no. -Straight facts.

Scarlett, please.

-Oh. -Hi.

So, do you like, party, or...?

Oh my God.

Mm-hmm.

So helpful.

Congrats.

Thank you.

I'm single if you wanna hang.

I bet he's got weak swimmers.

I'll bet he doesn't.

I took Baby Free once.

Felt like I shot a cannonball from my lady bottom.

Oh, God.

God, you know, the things men will never understand.

Let's egg Buzz's car and then get you back out there.

Okay, yeah, no.

Let's just wait until after my ovaries are done arguing

like my parents used to.

-Okay. -Okay.

Babe, you should really come out tonight.

I'm meeting Ben Number 3 at that place with the sticky floors.

The sticky floors?

-Yeah. -Wow.

No, I won't be there.

He has friends.

Good for Ben Number 3.

I mean, when was the last time you went out?

Like, actually out, out?

I was just out with you the other day.

No, it's been like four months.

Okay, okay, you know what?

Maybe I'll come tonight.

-Liar. -Yeah.

Margaret, can you leave the rent check

on the counter in the morning, please?

Margaret?

Margret?

Oh, no.

I'm not moving in with you.

Did she get deported?

Is she from Canada?

I don't know, I literally never talk to her.

I don't speak to her either, clearly.

She misspelled opportunity.

And then she just left?

Yeah, she just left.

And our rent is due on Thursday, so...

How about her security deposit?

No, Mr. Smith already let us dip into that last month.

Also, he keeps asking when you'll be back, by the way.

Just get a new roommate, that's easy.

Easy? Do you know how much effort it takes

to find a sane roommate?

How about that Craigslist thingie?

Oh, that's so depressing.

What?

What's the matter with you?

Let's see, Buzz dumped me.

After he admitted that the condom broke, so.

Well, you're on the pill, aren't you?

No.

No, I haven't been on the pill.

Not since I gained 30 pounds of water weight

and Veronica Summers told me I looked like a bean bag chair.

-That's incredibly stupid. -Okay.