The Makeover

Oh, better hurry.

Oh! Oh!

Excuse me.

- Pardon me. Excuse me. - Whoa!

Excuse me. Pardon me. Hey, hey, hey.

Oh! Oh!

- Oh! Excuse you there! - Aah.

Excuse me. Hey.

Coming through. Coming through. Watch your back.

She speaks for the children.

Excuse me. Ah.

She speaks...

Excuse me. Coming through. ...for the parents.

Excuse me. Thank you.

And ladies and gentlemen, she speaks for the real Boston!

So the lady you've all been waiting for, Hannah Higgins!

(cheering, applause and whistling)

Hannah! Hannah!

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you all so much for your invaluable support

in my run for this congressional seat.

Hannah!

Sadly...

Sadly, I was just informed

the outcome has not been what we hoped.

No.

The words with which I might express

my gratitude would never equal the tireless efforts

put forth by those involved in my campaign.

Particularly my friend

and campaign manager, Colleen Pickering.

It is my sincere belief

that all parties are working toward the good of the country

to find solutions to the problems facing all of us.

It is in that spirit

of bipartisanship with which

we thusly concede the election...

Come on!

No!

You're kidding me.

...and congratulate my opponent, Mr. Wade Bradbury.

Oh, no! Boo!

- Thank you. - Boo! Boo!

Boo! Boo!

Well done. I know with only 60% of the polls in,

some people think we jumped the gun on the speech, but...

So sorry.

...with the numbers being what they are,

I think the earlier the concession,

the more dignity we'll keep.

Dignity being a state of mind.

Congressional candidate Hannah Higgins

suffered a stunning defeat today,

losing by a wide margin

to former television weatherman Wade Bradbury.

WZHA was on the scene for voter reaction.

Hannah Higgins? Nah, I didn't vote for her.

She reminded me of my high school principal.

I liked what she was saying about education and stuff,

but she's just so...

I don't know. She's such a cold fish, you know?

Yeah, I voted for her, but only because

the idea of voting for the weatherman

was absolutely repugnant.

No, no, no, I voted for the guy from TV.

That guy makes me laugh every time he does the weather.

Like when he goes over and says,

"Now, we'll go to the Dah... pler radar."

Cracks me up. He'll say,

"Dah... pler radar!"

I'm gonna tell you what her problem is.

That lady talks like she's too smart for her own good.

As if creating legislation for 300 million people is a job

for which intelligence is a disqualification.

Uh-oh, it looks like Wade Bradbury is about

to make his victory speech.

We don't have to watch this, Hannah.

It's not as if the evening could get any worse.

I want to thank all my supporters

here and out there.

I am honored that everyday people like you

have chosen an everyday guy like me

to represent you in Washington.

Why don't we do this the way you guys like?

Oh, yeah.

Here we go.

I plan on bringing a high-pressure system

of change to Washington.

With the support you've shown tonight,

I'll blow out the fog of old ideas

and rain down prosperity and happiness.

Now it's onward.

Let's change which way the wind is blowing in Washington.

(cheering and applause, band plays upbeat music)

That's the problem. He doesn't know which way

the wind is blowing. He's a terrible weatherman.

Over 73% of his forecasts are inaccurate.

He said that today was gonna be bright and sunny.

And it's amazing how he tries to pass himself off

as this everyday guy while he's standing there in a $4,000

Italian suit. His parents built

the wing of a library to get him into an Ivy League school,

and yet he has the nerve to paint me as an elitist?

I don't think your undying commitment

to proper speech helped.

I have no idea to what you are referring.

I don't think it hurts to ask yourselves

who you'd rather have a beer with.

I believe you mean, "With whom one would want to have a beer."

This is the perfect example of our need to improve education.

Frankly, I find your grammar appalling!

It wasn't hard to convince voters that you thought

you were the smartest person in the room.

You've been in most of those rooms. We are.

: Wish I had your problems.

Must be nice to be too smart.

Suddenly, it seems everyone is a political consultant.

Nah, I'm, uh... just a beer vendor.

I-I beg your pardon. What's that?

I'm just a beer vendor.

You know, deliver beers, kegs and such.

Pick up empties after they break down the bar,

hand out samples here and there.

You know, that sort of thing.

I do believe

he's trying to communicate.

Fine, go on and crack wise.

I think we met in the kitchen.

It's Elliot, is it?

Yeah, Elliot Doolittle. Pleased to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

I think what Mr. Doolittle is trying to say

is that he's a beer vendor.

Yes, I suppose I did catch some of that.

Oh, sure, yeah, take your shots at me.

You know who's having the last laugh here? Me.

'Cause I voted for the other guy.

Sure he's lace-curtain Irish,

but he don't seem like the kind of guy

that would make fun of a fella.

Matter of fact, he seems like the type,

you know, pick up a sixer at a packie

and talk about the Bruins.

We've come to this?

I'll have you know that there was more riding

on this election than finding someone with whom

you could discuss your precious Bruins.

Okay, here we go.

Oh, yes, here we go. This country once had

one of the best-educated populations in the world.

Now we're ranked 33rd.

As education flounders, crime and unemployment rise.

But instead of addressing these issues,

we'd rather elect weathermen to Congress

and distract ourselves with reality television

and the tattooed circus,

otherwise known as professional basketball.

Maybe we should

just wallow in our demise,

for which someone like you could be the perfect poster boy.

Yeah, well, just so you know, the Bruins ain't basketball.

It's hockey!

You should at least know what sports teams represent Boston

if you want to represent Boston!

I guess you're not quite so smart as you think you are!

What frustrates me is not how poorly you speak,

but how unnecessarily poorly you speak.

With a little education and effort,

your insults could be as well-spoken as anyone's!

I suppose this means we're calling it an evening.

Good night, Mr. Doolittle.

Yeah. Well...

nice talking to you.

Frank, you know me a long time.

You think I talk funny?

No, sir! What are you, gone hoopy?

You talk wicked good.

Good as anyone I know.

That's what I thought.

Thank you so much for changing

your schedule last minute and coming down to our school.

I really think

that meeting some of the new staff

was tremendously helpful for them.

Oh, my pleasure.

Colleen and I will have an updated curriculum

for the students with learning disabilities by next week.

And the school board is gonna visit

to observe classes on Thursday.

So, in the meantime, if you need anything,

call me at the office.

Thank you. Thank you.

They're gonna need a extra pilsner

over at Clancy's. Got it.

Yo, Frankie!

Hey, there, Elliot.

Hey, guys, listen up, okay?