The Last New Year's Eve (L'ultimo capodanno)

Where you goin'? You almost killed me!

Stop!

Go to hell!

You shits! Dirty bastards!

I'll clobber you!

Shitty turkey!

Get down!

Get down, if you got the guts!

Get down!

Get back up, go ahead!

KAPUTT MUNDI

Which one?

Must be this one, "The Islands" Condos.

Enzo, honey?

Are you there?

They were out of red candles.

Get down, mutts!

That's two...

Darlings...

Rowena!

'Morning!

Use a glass!

Mom!

Why?

You're frying! How can I go out now?

You're going out? You haven't been out for a week!

Why tonight, of all nights?

- Stay home with us, Cristiano. - Who's us?

Always the same people. You invited all the doormen from around here!

You're with 'em all year, why holidays, too?

Why?

What's the idea?

Giulia?

It's Mother. Happy New Year.

Best wishes, Sweetie.

I love you, you're always in my thoughts.

How come you're not home? Aren't you preparing dinner?

Of course, you already have.

Did you get the stri ped bass? And prepare it like I said,

with fennel seeds?

Eugenio...

Remember, we have to...

You there? It's Francesco.

Fiorenza's not coming, she's got a headache.

- Lie! - I hope it's all right!

I'll be coming, though. See you later.

Giulia, you there? It's Lisa.

I don't know what to wear. What are you wearing?

I'm desperate, call me.

- Hello Lisa... - Enzo.

Giulia's not home.

How are you?

So so... What about you?

Tired.

I just finished writing that report for the company.

About time!

About time.

What are you doing?

I've had it.

I don't feel like coming tonight.

Neither do I.

She's in a dither!

She got up at six to prepare the lentils!

We could have got them at the deli. They're awful, anyway.

- What if I didn't come? - No, it means a lot to her.

She'd take it hard!

You're going to leave me alone?

Why don't we go to the hot springs? Remember?

It'd be fabulous! We'll have a swim, and at midnight...

I'll mount you like a bull, in the hot tub

Same old pig.

- Wouldn't be bad, though. - I know.

Well? Quiet.

You know we can't!

Then come over here.

If you want me to come tonight, come over right now.

I'm on my way.

Hurry up!

I'm there...

How much gas?

Twenty thousand.

Filippo! How are you?

Sure, just a second.

I'll give it to you now.

Hold on a second, I got my hands full.

Here it is.

Via Cassia...

...1043.

Right.

The doorbell reads, "Countess Scintilla Sinibaldi".

You've decided to come, then?

Fantastic.

Scintilla'll be in seventh heaven.

Gaetano!

Son of a bitch!

Hold on a second.

We'll see you at the party.

Damn you!

Coach!

- How are you? - Goddamn, what a surprise!

Gaetano Malacozza the best fullback in Purchiano Terme!

Where'd ya disappear to? Not even a postcard!

We had our Christmas tournament.

- Where'd you finish? - Last.

Really bad luck... Ya left us three years ago,

and we haven't won a game in three years.

Coach, why' re you gotten up like that?

I'm the mascot. Don't ya remember the turkey?

Your team's emblem! Yer lookin' better than ever!...

A real dude.

- Look who's here, guys! - Stop screaming!

- Hey, guys! - Quiet!

Don't make me look like a jerk!

- Sorry. - Wanna cry when I see ya.

Let's say hello to the guys.

I can't. I'm really sorry, but I gotta go.

I've got an appointment I can't put off.

Ya won't say hello to the guys?

They're happy just seein' ya.

Ya gotta have a coffee.

A drink, an aperitif.

Ya can't say no, just to a coffee.

You know I don't drink coffee.

- Sorry. I gotta go see my lawyer. - Yeah, I get it...

They call 'em lawyers now!

I know what ya like, asshole!

- Ya got a barracuda down there? - Take your hands off!

Hands off, you're hurtin' me!

Go ahead, take off.

I won't tell the guys I saw ya.

If they saw ya lookin' like this, they'd all wanna come to Rome.

Then who'd play for us?

Any way,

thanks for everything, stay well,

and Happy New Year.

Gaetano, your appointment book!

Right, put on the chain.

Ya never know...

Two thousand lire,

son of a bitch!

- Who's that guy? - Nah, everything's cool.

Why don't we go to the hot springs?

Remember?

It'd be fabulous! We'll have a swim, and at midnight...

I'll mount you \ like a bull, in the hot tub.

Same old pig...

- Wouldn't be bad, though. - I know.

- Well? - Quiet!

You know we can't!

Then come over here.

If you want me to come tonight, come over right now.

I'm on my way.

Hurry up!

I'm there...

Well? How are they?

Great, Ma'am.

Delicious.

How come there're no anchovies?

Make you thirsty.

- Cristiano? - He's in his room.

He's been in there since Christmas.

Why don't you tell him to come out? Talk to him.

Try to convince him. He won't listen to me.

What's wrong with Cristiano? And the rest of you?

You're not on drugs, are you?

Grandpa!

Look, the woman up there, she's naked!

- Where? - There! Mrs. Giovannini!

- She's peeing in the living room! - Go get my binoculars!

Michele, give me a hand here...

Coming!

- What're those binoculars for? - We're watchin' the fireworks.

Here, Grandpa.

What a babe!

A big, humongous joint...

What is it?

Calabrian grass.

My brother gave it to me for Christmas.

Nice gift!

Hallucinogen!

- Yeah... - It'll blow your mind!

Make a filter.

With a Metro ticket?

It's gotta really draw.

Got the paper?

Be a nightmare if I didn't have 'em, either!

We'd be up the creek.

Wait, maybe they're in here.

What's all this stuff?

Dynamite.

Dynamite!

My cousin gave it to me, he works in Massa Carrara...

...at the marble quarry. - What do you need it for?

We'll set it off at midnight!

You're off your rocker!

The big New Year's explosion!

You know where we'll set it off?

At the lake near the Japanese Cultural I nstitute.

They've got these Koi carp, the coloured ones.

Those mothers weigh 30 kilos! What a blast!