Year One

Um, I'm-- I'm too drunk for this.

-What? -I'm too drunk for--for this.

You're great. This is great. Yeah.

Um...

Hi, everyone.

I'm Ezra and I'll be your RA this year.

I live down the hall in room 435,

and before we start any rules or regulations,

I was thinking we could do a little icebreaker.

I'm Selene, I am a freshman, and this is Ruby, my roommate,

and yeah, oh, I'm bringing strawberries to the picnic.

You're Ezra, and you're bringing eggs.

You're Jonathan, and you're bringing jam.

You're Becca, and you're bringing b--bacon?

Bacon, got it.

You're Mika, and you're bringing mangoes.

-You're Ruby, obviously, and... -Yeah, I mean--

...you're bringing pineapples...

[music swells, Selene's voice fades]

Are those your friends from high school?

Yeah, we were really-- uh, we were really close.

This is the first time I've gone to school without them.

-That must be nice. -What?

You know, to have a group of girlfriends.

It's like in Heathers.

Doesn't everyone get, like, murdered in Heathers, though?

I mean, obviously not that part.

You just remind me of Veronica.

Uh, I can assure you that my high school experience

was nothing like that, but thank you?

What was your high school experience like?

Um...

...it was pretty boring, actually.

I studied my ass off to get here.

Um, that's-- that's pretty much it.

I didn't really, like, party or anything.

-You didn't? -No. No.

Um, I think I'm just most excited

for, like, finally being here

and meeting all these different people

from, like, all around the world.

And, like, finally being able to write, actually.

So...

-What about you? -Um, wait, what about me what?

Like, what are you most excited for?

Oh, um, you know, probably everything that you said.

Uh, but actually, I think I'm actually really excited

to have a group of girlfriends

because I never had that in high school.

Well, college is the perfect place to do that.

There are a ton of people for us to meet.

Uh, what about them?

Right there. I recognize them from our floor.

-They seem nice. -Oh, okay. Okay.

I just saw the other dude the other day.

- Hey, do you guys mind if we sit with you? -Yeah, sure.

- Um, what were your names again? -Uh, Becca.

-Brianna. -Selene.

-I'm Ruby. Hi. - Hi.

Um, so are you guys going to any frat parties this week?

Uh, we were considering it.

Um, I know Rho Phi is having one off campus tonight.

- Which one is that? -It's like, I think it's, like, the Nice Jewish Boy one.

-Oh. -Oh.

My orientation leader made a whole list

of all the parties happening this week.

Um, we can do a group chat

and I can share it with you if you want.

-Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. - Awesome. Cool.

Yeah, you can just put your contacts there.

Ah!

You can just text me from there.

Yeah.

So there's this boy, Garth. It's so cute.

He'd make the perfect first boyfriend.

-You met him, like, yesterday. -I know, but he's, like, perfect.

It's like, oh, I want him inside me.

- -Have you swiped the V-card yet?

-Oh, um-- -Oh, hi boys!

Hi! Oh, my God, hi! Hi.

-Oh, this is my roommate, Ruby. -Hi.

-I met Garth at orientation. -And this is my friend, Sam.

-Hi. Ruby. -Hey, Sam.

-Hi. -Hi.

-Are you guys ready to go? -Uh, yeah. Yes.

-Yeah? All right, let's head out. - Let's do it.

Let's do it!

-You got a text from a brother? -Uh, I'm Sam Robinson.

Liam said he'd vouch for me?

-Oh, yeah, dude. You're good. -My friends too?

Yeah, man. All good.

See you at the rush event next week?

Yeah. For sure.

-You're safe. -Thank you.

- What should we get? -Uh, rum and coke?

-Rum and coke? - Yeah.

- Two? -Yeah.

- Cool. -Great.

-Do you like 'em strong? - Of course, yeah, yeah.

-We're here to party. -Yeah, that's right dude.

So then he was like, "Yo, who do you need for this job?"

And I was like, "Bro, bro, I don't know, I don't know."

And he's like, "Your mom!" I was like, "Bro."

-That was also very fun! - Whoa.

Um...

-Maybe--maybe not. -Oh, yeah.

-Sorry. -No, you're good.

Um, is anybody sitting right there?

-I'm Ruby. -Will.

-Oh, hey. -Hi.

-How was your first day? -It was okay.

Just okay?

Yeah, I had my first Psych class.

I don't know, I didn't really like the other Psych majors.

Like, they were all psychoanalyzing me.

-I don't know. -Oh, I'm sorry, that sucks.

Um, I was thinking of going to the activities fair later,

-if you want to come. -Okay, yeah.

-Cool. -Cool.

See anything interesting?

Uh, yeah, I'm looking for Literary Magazine.

I first heard about it when I was applying here,

and I've been super excited ever since.

Oh, uh, were you planning to rush at all?

I, uh, hadn't really thought about it.

I think I'm going to wait and see how I feel at the end of the quarter.

I think I'm going to. Apparently everyone's friend groups change after rush.

-Who told you that? -My orientation leader.

She told us everything about navigating the social scene.

Huh.

Mine didn't say anything about that.

The most useful piece of information he told us was

what dining stations to avoid.

-Hey, are you interested in Ancient Drama? -Uh, kind of.

-Creative Writing major. -Nice.

-I'm a Classics major, so similar territory. -What's this club?

We put on a production of a Greek play each quarter.

It's a really low-budget thing, but a lot of fun. Do you act?

I've always been interested, but I don't sing.

In my high school, I did musical theater, so...

Well, you don't really need any experience to be in one of our plays.

If you're interested, you can sign up for our e-mail list.

Oh, nice.

Nice to meet you. Hope to see you at one of our info sessions.

Thank you.

If I knew you were interested in the theater scene,

I would have asked my orientation leader which group is best.

I'm not really. I just like classic literature.

Um is this the Literary Magazine info session?

Oh.

...gave me something I could handle.

-Hey. -Oh, hey.

Hi. Where are you off to now?

-Class. Calculus. -Oh, that sucks.

It's not that bad.

-Okay, well, I'll--I'll see you around. -Yeah.

-Jesus Christ. -Yeah.

-Ooh. Hefty pourer. -Well, yeah.

Oh, okay.

Um, thank you.

Is this going to be a problem with Ezra, do you think or--

Who, is Ezra? Oh, wait.

Yeah, the--oh.

I never even see him.

I hope he doesn't want to come around.

Um, you don't--you don't think

he's going to come to our room, right?

-No, he probably not. -He's never done a round.

-Never? -No.

I don't think so.

This is good.

We should take a cute photo.