Valentine's Day (Valentines Day) (Valentine's Day)

Hey there, all you sleepy Angelenos. A good, good morning to you.

It's your buddy, Romeo Midnight. I know.

I'm the voice you normally listen to in the middle of the night.

But today is special, Los Angeles. It's my favorite day of the year.

Today is Valentine's Day.

And that's why I'll be here all day and all night, playing the songs you love...

...and the songs you love to love to.

Hi.

Okay.

When I was a kid, most of the advice that my dad gave me was crap.

There's one thing that he said that was pure genius.

He said, "If you ever are with a girl...

...that's too good for you...

...marry her."

So...

Wow.

- Really? - Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day.

She said yes!

Julia, call me as soon as you get this. I got big news. Big news.

- She said yes. - You're kidding.

- What? - I mean, you're kidding!

- You thought she'd say no. - Man, come on. You know me...

...always preparing for the worst. Immigrant mentality.

- Forget it. She said yes. This is good news. - Yeah, and get this:

I don't even have to play it cool today. I can be a sappy cheeseball all day...

...mooning about love to total strangers, and no one'll think I'm a moron.

Because it's Valentine's Day, huh?

And everyone is romantic on Valentine's Day.

Get your head out of your ass and use your damn turn signal...

...you freaking moron.

Good morning, Los Angeles.

I'm Sherry Donaldson with the KVLA news team.

- And now let's check the weather. - Good morning.

Sun shines on late morning, and look at these numbers.

Highs in the upper valleys in the 60s, and a bit cloudy by the coast...

...until mid-morning, when the marine layer burns off.

Susan, what the hell is this?

Oh, the boss thinks it's gonna up the ratings.

And we're clear.

Not talking about Pippi Longstocking, I'm talking about this.

I'm a sports journalist, I don't do lifestyle.

You're my number two sports journalist, Kelvin, which means...

...that on slow sports days, you do the pieces I want you to do.

The station wants more fluff.

I'll do some follow-up stories, do some investigative reporting...

...bring it back to you?

There's only one story today, Kelvin. It's all yours.

It's not complicated. It's your basic man on the street.

"Tell me, John Q, Jane Q, what does Valentine's Day mean to you?"

It gives me acid reflux. That's what it means to me.

We spend a lot of money. Nobody cares. It's not a real holiday.

We don't take the day off. Come on, Susan.

And we're coming back in five, four, three...

Listen, I'm a player...

...but I shut down my player-ness...

...from New Year's to Saint Paddy's Day just so I can avoid this day.

I need happy, I need romantic, I need love...

...and I need it from you.

You need Jesus.

Go. Go away now.

Sunflowers! Beautiful!

Good morning!

- Hello, good morning. - Hello, hello.

I need my lucky bamboo. Actually, I need both flats, and...

- Do you hav...? I actually need the whole lot. - All of them?

- Want my Gerbera daisies too? - No, no, no. No... Yes.

Alphonso's gonna pick everything up later.

- Mr. Reed, why are you always happy? - Why not be always happy?

- Reed? - Simon.

- Reed. - What's up, man?

- How are you? - All right.

- What's going on? - Hey, I'm gonna be on TV.

- Interviewer over there. - Really?

Nice! Listen, I need to talk to you.

Morley said yes.

She said yes?

What is with everybody? She said yes. I'm getting married.

It's great news, huh?

Listen, I need to get her something, like, really nice, though, like...

Not roses, something out of the ordinary, you know?

Ah... Huh.

- Wow, what is it? - No, no, no.

Do not open until perfect moment.

Ready for the interview.

Kelvin Moore here, KVLA Channel 13...

...right here at the downtown flower mart with Mr. Simon Pham...

...that's P-H-A-M, not with an F.

Mr. Pham, how many red roses do you sell on Valentine's Day?

The Captain and Tennille were married on Valentine's Day.

What's that you said?

The Captain and Tennille were married on Valentine's Day.

A hundred and ten million red roses are sold in America every Valentine's Day.

- Sixty percent are produced in California. - Does he work for you? I mean...

I'm a florist.

I own Siena Bouquet, 2173 Rosewood.

- And what's your name, sir? - Reed Bennett.

- Hi. How are you? Sports guy. Sports. - Reed Bennett. Yeah, sports.

- Okay, from Santa Montica... - Siena Bouquet.

- Santa... What is it? Siena Bouquet. - Siena Bouquet.

In the Val... Off of Ventura.

Well, you do have a flaw after all.

- Oh, yeah? What's that? - Your job.

I thought women liked doctors.

We do like lab coats, but the flying around everywhere is not so good.

I'm only going to San Francisco for one night.

Couldn't somebody else do it, just tonight?

No, I'm the best.

If it's any consolation, when I'm fixing his heart...

...you can hold mine.

Oh. Thank you.

Hey, what are you doing? No. I can't miss my plane. No.

I can't believe you're leaving me on Valentine's Day.

- You said you had something to do. - I do have something.

I do have something to do. I just don't know that I wanna do it.

- You know my friend Kara? - Which one's Kara?

Neurotic, hot mess.

She throws this annual "I Hate Valentine's Day" dinner.

- It's a bit of a downer, actually. - What's there to hate?

Nothing, if you're a handsome, divorced doctor.

But for the rest of us single women, it's kind of a giant cosmic bitch slap.

It's the universe saying, "Look, remember when you were 14...

...and you had cystic acne and braces...

...and you played the saxophone in the band...

...and no one would invite you to the winter formal?

Well, nothing's changed."

I would crawl over cut glass to take you to the winter formal.

And then I would prescribe Retin-A for your skin.

That's why you're my valentine.

So we have a professional here.

I'm sure you've heard a lot of stories on Valentine's Day.

Do you still believe in love?

Hell, yes. Love is the only shocking act left on the planet.

Well, if he said it, folks, it must be true, because he is a florist.

What is it?

Oh, you're up.

- Did you get my good side? - I don't know. Roll over.

Last night...

Was...?

- Amazing. - Okay, thank you.

- Wow. Well, I used to be a gymnast. - Oh, well, that explains a lot.

Yeah, I didn't hurt you, right?

- You're so cute. - I thought you wanted to be a poet...

...not a photographer. - A girl can change her mind, Jason.

That's how last night happened.

- Anyway, I could not write that photo. - Okay, yeah. Um...

Is my nose kind of...? It looks kind of big for my face.

I think that's L.A. Talking. I think you have a great nose.

Oh, my God. Is that the time?

What? What? No, it's 3 minutes fast. I don't like being late.

- I have to go. I just... - Just like that?

Yeah, I'm sorry. I just... Skirt? Skirt, skirt, skirt.

What? Oh, right. I think I half-remember that.

- Three minutes? Why not 5 minutes ahead? - I don't wanna seem eager.

But, yeah, you know what? Stay.

Hang out for a little bit. Maybe we can grab breakfast.

- Oh, I knew it. I knew it. - What is that, techno?

- What? - The ring.

Oh, no, I think it's, like, a little more retro. It's kind of '70s.

Thank you so much for last night. I had a blast.

And there is fresh coffee for you in the kitchen.

- I think I'm out of coffee. - You were.

I borrowed some from your neighbor. She was surprised...

...you had female company, thought that you were gay.

Don't worry, I set her straight.

Bye.

Hi.

Oh, I was thinking about you all night long.

Oh, I'm sorry I didn't answer on the first ring.

It's not my fault.

I was thinking about what you were gonna do to me...

...and I just couldn't wait. I didn't have a free hand.

Oh, baby. You know just how Katia likes it. Mm.

Well, it's Valentine's Day, sugar.

How about something special?

My roommate just got home. Do you wanna have a threesome?

If he says yes, it'll take me a minute to change.

Ooh. I think that's a very good idea.

Edgar, we said we were not gonna give each other presents this year.

I know, I lied.

- So did I. - Wow.

Today's the day I make most of my dough. I deliver love-grams to businesses.

I even delivered a breakup-gram today.

Folks, from the chubby messenger of love himself...

...that Valentine's Day is about love.

It's about romance. It's about commercialism that...

- Found the glue, Grandma. - Well, good.

This is really a hard day for him...

...because they used to make handcrafted cards together.

Well, maybe we should've offered to do that with him.

I did.

But he said it was only fun when it was with his mother.

So, Edison...

...what are we doing for breakfast today? - I can't eat, Grandpa.

Who said that? So you can't eat?

What's the matter? What's the matter, you sick?

Yeah. Lovesick.

Julia, it's Reed. I've been trying to reach you.

Call me back, please.

Oh, boy. Oh.