Blood Blockade Battlefront (血界戦線)

Hello, Michella. How are you?

I'm finally doing well.

I'm still scrapin' by in this city.

Crazy to think how long I've been here now.

This place is as crowded and messy as it's always been.

A noisy city where abnormal is normal.

And today, it's just more of the same.

Ugh. Well, that's a depressing amount.

Huh?

What's up?

I'm Leonardo Watch. My friends call me Leo.

No one calls you that! That's my name! I'm Leo Watch!

But who cares, 'cause I'm plummeting out of the sky!

In a matter of seconds, I'll be dead!

I'm so-- Oh, God. Thank you, Zapp! I love you!

Don't make things weird, Leo.

Now what ya got me playing

a spider-like, web-slingin' man for?

All I know is I got kidnapped and knocked out

and woke up falling out of the sky with this thing on my head!

What the hell?

That's a real cute test-tube- bug-hat ya got on, Leo.

So fashionable!

Huh?

Aww, so cute!

Hello, boys and girls! It's your King of Depravity!

F.E.M.T! Femt!

Have you desperately missed me,

my unhygienic, uncultured, unmotivated livestock?

Sorry, I've been busy playing poker lately.

But I'm bored with that now.

So I did a little proactive multitasking this morning

and whipped up a new synthesized batch of demonbeasts.

They crumble and die six hours, six minutes, and six seconds

after they hatch,

but they know how to make that short life count.

Oh, how they indulge!

And heads up, they are not picky eaters.

As quickly and large as they grow, their metabolism demands

a ceaseless consumption of victuals.

Long story short, they're big, mean, and hungry,

so you might wanna run.

Well, that should cover it, so you all have fun out there!

One for nonsense. Nonsense for all!

I know, but please! Just let me cling to you!

No one's questioning your masculinity!

Aw, shit, it cracked! What the hell do we do now?

By the way,

I intend to spend the evening binge-watching BBC Earth,

so I'd really appreciate it

if you could wrap it up by then, thanks!

But if you fail to do so,

and these lovely puppies of mine continue to grow.

Well, it would be pretty damn funny

if they devour 90% of the Earth's population!

Your sense of humor sucks!

Oh. Oh, crap.

Stand back, you two!

What the hell?

Thanks a load for stepping on my line, there!

I couldn't hear my own attack name!

Uh, sorry, K.K.

Why are you apologizing? We didn't have any choice.

No choice?

You gonna act like that wasn't some dick measuring contest?

Huh?

Hey, it's Chain.

Thought you might wanna know

there's a supersized demonbeast heading right for you.

Come again?

In ten seconds, you'll--

Looks like we're boxed in.

So what's the plan, Klaus.

My Brain Grid Blood Battle Technique.

Wait. Really?

Remain behind me.

Everyone, line up single file!

Don't tell me what to do.

Apply Form 1-1-7.

Unzerbrechlich... Kreuzschild!

Uhh...

Hm?

Uhh...

Yep, Michella. Today, this city almost...

I mean. I'm great today, nothing to worry about.

Huh?

Hellsalem's Lot is honored to receive

U.S. Presidential envoy Franz Ackerman.

Here to further expand the bridge between our two worlds.

Welcome to your new home, Mr. Ambassador.

The induction ceremony is to be held tonight at Federal Hall,

beginning at 7 p.m.

X!

X-Station! Double X! Double X! Double--!

Ugh. Selfish jerk.

I'm sorry, Michella.

I should've sent you the money instead of buying this.

But... I had to do it!

Hard Dive 4 ! This game...

I needed it.

This series literally changed my life.

And it's the first new release in four years.

Now let it begin.

Junk food, check!

Soda, check!

Always-unmade bed, check!

I'm ready.

Ah, crap.

Ah, double crap!

My hand! Calm yourself, dammit!

What do you want, Zapp?

Where are ya, ya scruffy nutsack?

What? I'm at home.

You're gonna let me talk you to like that?

Grow some dignity, you gutless eunuch!

Hey! It's my day off and I don't need your crap!

Great, you got 30 seconds.

Open your north facing window, right now!

Heads up! Catch, scrotum face!

Eh?

Are you a huma?

Why did that asshole toss a box of horror

into my house on my one day off?

You know I can still hear you, right?

That's how phones work, genius.

Shut up! And quit calling me mean names!

Whatever, just hurry and get that box to the office.

Huh?

I'm kinda tied up

with some blood-thirsty, trigger-happy lunatics.

Huh?

Well, they're after that box, but hey, we're distracting.

Oh, right, that reminds me, don't look inside.

It's a little late for that. Eh?

Ohh...

Excuse me, why is your head inside this box,

United States Ambassador, Franz Ackerman?

Y'know.

I think I'm gonna have to categorize this

as one of the more surreal jobs

we've been hired to handle, Klaus.

I'll agree with that assessment.

It happened so fast.

A nightmare. No, it--

It made even less sense than a nightmare.

Not to go out on a limb here,

but I bet it's the work of Headless Duke Durer.

Hm.

Durer?

You mean the one from D's Elegant Exhibition Room?

Every time the government

tries to block public access to the site,

it just pops back up.

Live cameras streaming a feed of hundreds

of disembodied, live heads.

And you think they plan to install Franz in this exhibit?

Good God.

This isn't exactly the most fruitful beginning

for diplomatic relations between two worlds.

It could even mean war.

Slow down, now.

That's precisely what we're here to prevent. Just trust us, okay?

I offer you my solemn promise.

We will return Mr. Ackerman's head.

He will be whole for the ceremony.

So you know me. Even recognize me by my face.

Well, uh, yeah.

That heavily booth-tanned gentleman

from earlier didn't seem to know who I am.

Yeah, sorry 'bout that.

I'd be surprised if Zapp could identify the president himself.

Of course he looked inside the box

before unloading it on me!

Pardon me, son,

but do you have a cellphone I could borrow, please?

Huh?

I'd like to inform my colleagues

as to where my head is located.

Right, makes sense.

My... My apartment... And my...

X-Station! Double-X! No! Oh, God, why?!

Do you want them to find us? Stop yelling, son.

I just lost everything.

But you still have your life.

This is serious, son.

The enemy has infiltrated our cabinet.