The Insatiable

Baby, I' m so lonely

Come on, hold me tight

Baby, been so lonely

I know this feelin' just ain't right

No

So won't you come on over, baby

Don't leave me lonely here tonight

Babe, I took my chances

On your broken heart

Yeah, I took my chances

I knew the price right from the start

I did

But when you told me you don't love me

You just 'bout tore my heart apart

Whoo

Now to get you back, girl

I'd walk around the world

Yeah, to get you back, child

I'd buy you diamonds, gold and pearl

Yes, I would

And if you tell me that you want me

I'll make you proud to be my girl

Now I' m not so lonely, lonely no more

No, I' m not lonely

Because it's me that you adore

Yeah

I'd give my life to keep you happy...

- Spare any change? - Oh!

Sorry, no, I' m not carrying any change.

I need to get somethin' to eat, man.

Please.

Okay. You know what?

Just... Just... Just, uh, wait here

- and I'll bring you somethin', um... - Yeah.

Sure, man.

I'll be in my office.

Name is Sammy.

No, mom, you don't get to meet her.

Trust me on this one, you wouldn't like her.

No, she's not a hooker.

But she fucks like one.

Dirtiest, nastiest, most mind-bending sex imaginable.

That answer your question?

I'll bet it does.

What's the matter with you?

I just think it's funny, you gettin' shit from your mom.

Yeah, it's funny.

As opposed to what?

Being two totally repressed white suburban freaks, such as yourselves?

I mean, uh, who do you think you're kiddin' here?

Got shoe polish, dental floss...

Plus whacking material

Hmm.

Like you guys came in here for this other shit and not just the magazine.

Hmm?

Tell you what.

Take this shit, put it back.

Come on back up here, pay for your erection collection,

and then get the fuck outta here, okay?

I'll sell you the magazine, but I'm not gonna sell you the other shit.

You want to know why? Because it's a lie.

And I'm all about the truth.

Right there. See? Okay, go ahead.

Go.

''To thine own self be true.''

Nietzsche said that.

Actually, I think it was Shakespeare.

Same thing, Harry. Huh?

Can you believe that shit?

What have ya got?

Uh, I went with a hot dog tonight.

Surprise, surprise.

Scary, huh?

I mean, not that this neighborhood was ever really that safe,

but that shit is wack.

Word.

Careful out there, something's just not right.

- Yeah. - Enjoy your dog.

Take it easy.

Hey, Sammy?

You in there?

Okay, if you're trying to freak me out,

it's working.

Okay, I'm just gonna leave this here.

Come get it whenever you're ready.

Shit!

So you actually saw the head get ripped off?

Yeah.

Right before you fainted?

I hyperventilated. There's a difference.

I will call you if I have any more questions, Mr. Balbo.

Uh...

You believe me, don't you?

A beautiful female with fangs leaps up three stories and crashes through a window,

carrying the head of a homeless man...

Then disappears into the night. Got it.

Call me if you remember anything else.

Three pages of coverage.

No mention of you.

I'm telling you, I was there.

- Was she hot? - Amazingly.

Sort of, um...

Wild.

Almost feral

- Feral - Uh...

Li-li-like a wild animal Just...

Sounds to me like somebody's been jackin' off again.

Don't be an asshole.

Look, I saw the guy.

I bought a hot dog for him at the convenience store.

I'm the one that called the cops.

I'm the one that called the cops.

Then why doesn't it say that?

It says here that they got a tip from an anonymous caller.

If you were the one that found the dead body,

then why doesn't it say that?

I don't know.

You don't know?

He doesn't know. I do.

It's because you're full of shit.

You probably saw the commotion.

Figured you'd make up a story to try to impress us.

Make us your friends.

I'll never be your friend, Balbo.

Things an asshole might say.

Nah, nah, thing...

Things a douche bag might blurt out.

- Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. - You know what?

Why don't you go out to the loading dock?

Tryto convince one of those neanderthal of your story.

I'm sure one of those guys will believe you.

I don't.

Uh, you know what?

I have to pee.

I'm just gonna pee.

Good luck.

You're a dick.

Uh...

Isn't this a no-smoking area?

Call a cop.

Homicide gets a buy, one of the few perks.

Coroners too, but they never use it.

So why are we having this conversation?

I saw the paper this morning, and...

And I didn't see any mention of, uh...

Worried about missing out on your 15 minutes of fame?

No, sir, I just expected to see

something about the girl

I did you a favor, Mr. Balbo.

If the media caught wind of you claiming you saw a vampire,

they would turn your world into a circus,

and every wacko in the country would be camping outside your door.

See this?

His head was torn from his body.

Show me a woman who could do that.

An average bodybuilder couldn't do that.

I have a theory about that.

Severe trauma to the head and neck,

that conceal the bite wound,

So, cops... I mean, uh, no offense to you...

Then they go looking for hulking male psychopaths instead of the real killer.

That... that's where that's at, so...

I've alo got a theory, you want to hear it?

You're a fucking nut job.

So you're... You...

I'm saying your statement indicates what you believe you saw,

even though it's impossible.

Usuallythat means someone's lying and I found my guy.

But when you've been through this drill

as manytimes as I have, you get a feel for it.

When ever I meet a witness, I do a mental triage.

I ask myself...

''Am I talking to the killer?

Yes? No? Maybe? ''

And I'm no...

Mmm.

So what you're really saying is I don't have

enough of whatever it takes to be a killer.

That's right.

And if I was you, I'd consider myself lucky.

$7.22.

Uh, yeah.

Weird how the police say they don't have any leads.

I mean, you saw who did it, right?

I don't know.

Thought you said it was a chick.

Yeah, I'm not sure.

You know, it was dark and sudden, so...

You look tired.

You gettin' enough sleep?

This new girlfriend I got, she's killin' me.

She got a sister?

Serious, look at me.

Got this shittyjob and my crummy little apartment,

and we don't talk.

I don't send flowers and she doesn't seem to care.

- All she wants is sex. - Uh...

It's like she needs it to breathe.

What's, uh, what's...

What's with that?