Monsters vs. Aliens

Oh, yeah, it's freaky.

1x34 - It Came from Channel 5

Area 50-something.

It's no secret monsters call it home.

But there is something more frightening, more dangerous.

Inside this secret outpost, the government is hiding...

aliens!

That's right, folks, aliens from other planets!

Of course, the government denies that,

but this news scooper has the inside scoop.

- Derek, what a nice surprise. - I know, right?

Well, hold on to your hat, Susan, because news flash:

I'm considering getting back together... with you!

- Uh-huh. - Yeah, I decided your being big

wasn't so big after all. So how's about I come over

to the old secret base and we talk it out?

Oh, and while you're here, maybe I could show you some things,

- like, I don't know, aliens? - Aliens? Yeah, that could be cool.

Uh-huh, now, just one question, Derek...

is it my TV, or is your hairline really starting to recede?

Wait. Are you watching?

Oh, yeah, Derek, and I've got late-breaking news

for all your viewers. I wouldn't go out with you

if you were the last man on Earth!

Cut to commercial!

Karen, get the shine off my skull!

- Ha! Burn! - My, my, my, how intriguing.

I know, they mixed the peas with these little onions.

Shouldn't work, but... boy howdy, it does!

I assure you, Grand Coverlord, this plan is flawless.

I will make contact with this news stooge.

Then when word of my existence is broadcast,

the world will descend into panic!

Plus the camera loves me. It's the cheekbones.

Where do you think you're going?

General, I was just about to, you know, hover around.

De-nied! Especially with a reporter snooping around.

Last thing I need is your ugly mug on the TVs.

Now, hover yourself back into your secure area,

- and give me that hat! - Um, but I...

So, B.O.B., quite a scene in the mess hall today, eh?

I know. Those peas and onions shouldn't work together,

but gosh darn it, they just do.

Actually, I was thinking of another odd couple,

- Susan and Derek. - They are not a couple.

Susan said she wouldn't go out with Derek if he was the last man on Earth.

Mm, but he's not the last man on Earth, is he?

Which means she would go out with him.

Wow. Mind... blown.

I gotta get those two crazy kids together!

Exactly, B.O.B. Bring Derek onto this base.

But tell no one what you're doing.

"The man" will do whatever he can to keep them apart.

- "The man." - Yes, "the man."

Now, fly, B.O.B.! Fly the on the wings of love!

- Hello? - I know what's going on,

and I want to help you.

- B.O.B.? - I'm on a call.

- With me. - Wow, huh. How crazy is that?

Derek, I'm going to bring you to your one true love.

- Myself? - No, silly, Susan.

You're going to take me to Susan? In the top secret underground base?

- Where all the aliens are? - Yup, I'm a hopeless romantic.

I'm about to single-handedly

sneak into Area 50-something.

I alone will face the gauntlet of deadly...

Hey! It's this way.

Okay, but stay out of my shot. Can you do that?

Oh! Oh!

- Wow, that was stinky! - Dietl here.

I've infiltrated Area 50-something,

Using methods I'm not at liberty to disclose.

He came in through the sewer!

- So B.O.B., when do we see aliens? - Aliens? You mean Susan, right?

Uh... slip of the tongue?

Oh, I can see that. Aliens, Susan.

They're both spelled with... letters.

Someone's coming.

- Maybe "the man." I gotta hide you. - Wait!

Call me crazy, but I'm not a fan of the little onions.

Hey, guys!

I'm not hiding Susan's ex-boyfriend behind this door!

- You're crazy. - I like what I like.

- B.O.B.? - I'll go get Susan.

You hide from "the man."

This is the worst place to hide from "the man."

It's "the man's" office!

- Finally, alone at last. - Okay. Okay, "D" man, focus now.

Get the scoop. Network gig.

Eye on the prize.

Konichiwa. Time to dancing.

Busting your moves on level one.

Consider them busted.

Surprise? B.O.B., what surprise?

All I'm going to say is what you're about to see

- will change your life, forever! - O, M, and G.

Wow, the General's totally loose in the caboose.

What are you doing? This is a private office!

Get out!

Where was I? Oh, that's right.

Locking my way back to funky town.

Well, B.O.B., that did change my life... forever.

Not for the better.

Ah, B.O.B.! Have you found the report...

"The man" has ears everywhere.

There you are! Come on, I'm taking you straight to Susan.

B.O.B., wait, you know, I like the hiding/surprise thing.

But maybe we need to hide me somewhere

a little more secret and secure.

What'd you have in mind, you sly dog?

Well, do you have any, I don't know, aliens on this base?

Genius! Nobody but nobody goes in here, ever! It's perfect.

Perfect.

Wait, what's with the giant doggy toys?

Unless somebody's got a giant...

And you're sure this isn't another Monger booty quake, right?

Oh, no, you're going to want to see this.

Ta-da!

Okay, B.O.B., thanks... for showing me... that.

That thing ate me. I was eaten!

I don't want to be eaten.

Wait, did it digest any of my hair?

Uh, maybe. Was this shiny spot always here?

Hair damage! No scoop is worth that.

Unless it gets me my own show. Ho, ho, then I could...

No, no, "D" man, that's crazy talk!

You can't replace hair like mine.

The curl. I can't pay that price.

This story is just not worth it!

No, Derek! I will not have you

giving up on this story, this fairy tale, this romance.

You know what? You need a pep talk,

from my peppy friend.

Busting your moves on level one.

Level one can prepare to be annihilated

- by my "skillz"... with a "Z." - Coverton!

Ah, B.O.B. and the... TV blabber-person of ill repute.

- So you have seen my show? - Indeed. I find your appetite

for the exploitation and debasement of others positively delightful.

Oh. Uh, cool.

Coverton, can I leave Derek here with you?

- He needs a pep talk something fierce. - Dearest Derek, let us chat.

Great, you two chew the fat. I'll get Susan.

Get me in 3/4 profile and make sure the lighting isn't too harsh.

Sometimes there's an awful, unflattering shine on my forehead.

Mr. Alien, we speak each other's language.

No really, Susan. This time for sure.

Okay, but this is the last time.

Susan, B.O.B., what can I do for you?

- Where's Derek? - Wait, Derek was here?

Ah, dang! I ruined the surprise.

Derek's long gone now.

But he did walk away with a hot exclusive:

"Close encounter: Me!"

The world's going to love it.

Oh, no!

Ah, no signal.

Why do they have to put these secret installations

- in the middle of nowhere? - Yeah,

so you can't upload pictures or videos.

Susan? Is that... you?

- You're... you're normal! - Normal?

Yeah, you're not a 50-foot giant abomination anymore.

Why didn't you tell me, baby?

Now we can totally get back together.

For reals. Might fix the hair, though.

But other than that, you're totally normal again.

- Sweet. - Derek, I've always been normal,

even when I'm ginormous.

I want you to meet Sqweep. You'll like Sqweep.

- Sqweep's an alien. - Really? An alien?

Yeah, an alien with a nice little memory wiper.

Wait! No! Nooooo!

Ah, look at them. Derek and Susan together again,

just like peas and onions.

Where am I?

Wait a second. Who am I?

"Your name is Derek Di-et-l,

"and you have no chance with Susan Murphy.

P.S. Your hairline is definitely receding."

1x35 - It Ruled With an Iron Fist

It's finally here, boys. Today's the day!