Exporting Raymond

Here we go, stand by.

And camera.

Go, Patty.

And action.

Oh, hey. Here they are.

My job was to create a family.

Here's the man that runs the whole show, Phil Rosenthal.

A very specific family.

Listen, I know you weren't there today, but wouldn't you agree that sometimes,

and I'm not saying all the time, but sometimes, Marie can be critical of me?

Frank?

Come on.

But it was never a job to me.

- Huh? - Yeah.

I grew up loving television,

The Honeymooners, Dick Van Dyke, All in the Family, The Odd Couple,

Mary Tyler Moore, Taxi, The Cosby Show, Roseanne.

I never dreamed that one day I'd get to have my own show.

We've had this crazy drama, and now you're in bed with your swirling.

So you have no idea what happened,

so the happier you are at the top of the scene, the funnier it is.

All those shows I mentioned had great stories and characters.

And they were all filmed in front of a live audience, like a play.

And that sound of real laughs was infectious, joyous.

I loved how you did it yesterday.

Okay, I got you.

Most importantly, those shows were about real life.

Where did our wedding go?

So that's where I started.

With the real Ray Romano and his real life family situation.

They're coming.

I brought in my own life and so did our other writers.

And we wrote about what really happened to us at home.

The angry family.

Some executives worried that this wasn't hip and edgy.

It wasn't young and sexy. Ray wasn't famous.

But it turned out to be a lot like a family.

And in America that turned out to be relatable.

We got nine years, 210 episodes.

We've loved every minute of it. And we've loved spending this time with you.

Thank you so much.

We connected.

I have a mind of my own, you know. I can contribute.

I'm not just some trophy wife.

You're a trophy wife?

What contest in hell did I win?

It was a dream come true. And then...

And cut.

...the Russians called.

Phil is finishing up with the show.

He's trying to think about what to do next.

And he came over and I think we had lunch

or he just came over to my office, I can't remember which.

It turned into a conversation about making television shows and sitcoms in Russia.

Nyanya, Russia.

- That's The Nanny? - The Nanny. All right.

- Wow. - Okay?

Argentina. Mexican Nanny. The Nanny in Indonesia.

- Really? - Chile.

- It's a universal phenomenon, The Nanny. - Phenomenon.

As skilled as Phil is,

and as much part of the television landscape as he is here in the United States,

we sort of thought, "Gee, wouldn't it be great to see whether we can

"make Raymond over there?"

Wow, it is kind of a thrilling opportunity.

What if we could really connect with the Russians

and then the rest of the world?

They said, "Just make sure you have K&R insurance."

And I said, "What is K&R insurance?"

He said, "Kidnap and ransom." So...

They said, "That never happens.

"You don't have to worry, that never happens."

I said, "It happens enough for there to be an abbreviation."

Before I go to Moscow, I'd like to speak to some experts.

This is where I grew up from age nine to age 17.

You know, this is where I got rejected by many, many women.

And many of the scenes in the show, in Raymond,

they happen right here in this house of horrors.

You know, we based a lot of the show on Ray Romano's actual life.

But what I didn't know about his family,

I filled in with the personalities of these people.

- Did you know you sent me a box of pears? - Yeah.

From a place called Fruit of the Month?

That's right. That's right. How were they?

There are over a dozen pears.

What am I supposed to do with all those pears?

I think you're supposed to eat them, Ma.

I appreciate the thought, Raymond,

but please, don't ever send us anymore food again. Okay?

Well, another box is coming next month.

What? More pears?

No. No, it's a different fruit every month.

Every month?

Yes. Yes, that's why they call it Fruit of the Month Club,

It's a club?

Oh, my God, what am I going to do with all this fruit?

The situations were fairly depicted, but some of the characterization was not.

Well, then give it away.

- Why would you do this to me? - Oh, my God.

I can't talk. There's too much fruit in the house.

What is happening?

In other words, it was exaggerated.

What do you think we are, invalids? We can't go out and get our own fruit?

Tell me about Moscow. When were you there?

In 2005.

I have a disk for you. I'll give it to you.

- Of pictures? - Moscow.

We could maybe look at them on your laptop now.

We'll see how it looks.

Do you know where to look?

Not on the Internet. You're going on the Internet.

Where do we get the pictures... Let's see.

- Russia slide show. - Good.

This was built...

- What's this? - That's music.

This is... Okay.

- You put music on it? - No.

- I don't know, it just goes by itself. - It just comes on.

How do you shut the music?

It goes very well with it.

- Here. - Okay.

This is in commemoration of the...

See here's the Square.

Oh, and this is GUM, by the way.

- This is what? - This is GUM.

This used to be a government building,

- but now it's a mall. - Yeah, they made it

into one of the biggest malls.

This is our guide, Vera.

- It goes by so fast, how can you even... - Let me show... I put it on...

This is inside the Hermitage.

No, this is inside the Moscow museum.

This is Moscow at 80 miles an hour.

This is gorgeous, here.

I can see it's gorgeous, but it's not there anymore.

I saw it for a second.

Now we're in Saint Petersburg.

No, this is one of the eight buildings that...

No, that's the...

No, it's not, it's one of seven buildings that got built by...

No, that was built after the war because it was destroyed by the Nazis.

No.

- No, they never got there. - Yes, they did.

No, they did not.

This is Florida.

- I'm going to Moscow. - Good luck.

I'll call you from Russia.

Or someone else will call and say, "We have him."

All right.

- No... - Goodbye.

How do you say...

I'm dead.

- No. - That's Russian. That's Polish.

- All right, everybody, say goodbye. - Goodbye.

I'm going to miss you.

I know, I'll miss you, too, Daddy. I love you.

So, I'm really going.

I guess I'm making Everybody Loves Rasputin.

I'm just a little nervous. I mean, I've seen the news.

A Russian dissident poisoned...

The poisoning death of former Russian spy, Aleksandr Litvinenko...

A mysterious weapon, polonium-210...

The radioactive isotope...

I know. I'll miss you, too, Daddy. I love you.

The first Russian I'm supposed to meet is my driver/security man, Eldar.

I'm told he's very nice.

- How's the weather? - Not bad.

Not bad.

So, in Russia, this is good weather?

Where did he go?

I'm having a swell time so far.

Eldar, I was worried about you.

- Where are you from again? - From Baku.

I can't believe you said that,

because we actually have friends in Los Angeles from Baku.

Louisa Kanski? Do you know the Kanskis?

- No, I don't know them. - Very nice people.

And then who else did you say?

No, I worked as a bodyguard for ambassador,

but I work with many people from the United States in Russia.

Right. And who else?

- Condoleezza Rice. - Condoleezza Rice.

On her visit to Moscow, yes.

You worked with Bush?

Not with Bush, but with his security team.

- Did you meet him? - Yes, at the embassy.

- What did you think? - What I'm thinking?

Yeah.

Again he goes.

This is my security.

Isn't this the scene where the Mafia comes

and clops me on the head and that's it?

- Will you protect me if... - No,

Oh, good. Hello. Everything okay?

- Yes, of course. - Okay.

- Did you have to go to the bathroom? - No. I paid for parking.

Oh, okay.

They make you get out of the car to get the card.

- Everybody? - For everybody.

Wow, I don't want to tell you how to run your place here,