Mom's Christmas Boyfriend

Come on, you know my offer still stands.

And I appreciate it, hijo.

Nobody should be alone on Christmas Eve.

How do you know I'm going to be alone?

I don't. I'm just saying that

your daughter's not home, and if you want...

I'm good. Mm-hmm.

Okay.

I got tamales, three days of no work.

I can't wait to get off my feet and just relax.

Oh, come on, don't answer it.

We're not taking any more deliveries.

Ooh, check that out.

What kind of delivery is that?

Hey, little guy. Come on.

Hmm?

Man.

"Happy holidays"?

"Please find me a good home"?

You got to be kidding me.

What kind of person dumps a dog on Christmas Eve?

A desperate person.

You got that right.

Here.

What?

I can't take him.

Well, don't look at me. You found him.

Whoa, but he's got to go to an animal shelter.

On Christmas Eve? Uh, there's no dogs allowed in my apartment, Jose.

Well, I say you drive him out of the city,

find a house with a yard, ring the doorbell,

and he's someone else's problem.

I can't do that. Hey, the radio said

the snowstorm's going to hit hard.

We're not solving anything

wasting time here arguing.

Tell you what.

We flip for it. Uh-huh.

Loser comes up with his own plan.

Okay.

It's you and me, doggie, hmm?

¿Hacia dónde vamos, amigo, huh?

Dime tú.

Mom, Emma's singing is killing me!

All right, all right. Alden, be nice.

Oh, hey, honey.

You excited?

It feels like you just asked me a question.

I did. I said, are you excited?

I'm excited... that you're excited.

You want to sing a Christmas song together?

Not unless you can help me practice

Lauretta's "O Mio Babbino Caro"

from Gianni Schicchi. | Right.

How long is

she going to keep singing?

Let's be nice. 'Tis the season.

It is the most wonderful time of the year, after all.

Right, but can she please not sing?

Hey, she doesn't get upset with you because you hog the TV.

I think Dad would want me to be using the new system.

Great. Well, Dad isn't here, so he can't be a part

of the conversation.

Besides, we're supposed to be supportive

of each other right now.

You got to admit, it's irritating.

Even her voice teacher says that she has potential.

: "You know, even a flower can bloom in a desert."

Could you talk like that more often?

I think I'd be a better listener. I doubt that.

Oh. It's Santa!

It's Phoebe...

coming to borrow a baster.

This just in, folks.

We have received satellite images

of Santa's sleigh in the northern sky.

We've also got a giant snowstorm on its way, so,

please, stay safe indoors, and we'll continue

the festivities here with this holiday favorite.

* It's the most wonderful time of the year... *

It's okay, puppy. It's okay.

We'll find you a home.

Wow, you've done such a great job with this place.

I don't know how you do this on your own now.

I am totally jealous.

I thought the kids were supposed to do that.

Oh, no. That wasn't our ritual.

Kevin always put out the cookies and milk for Santa.

Well, I guess this is about starting new traditions.

Mm. First time's always the hardest.

Agreed.

You know, maybe it's better that Kevin is on that stupid cruise.

At least the kids won't have two competing Christmases.

Agreed.

Yeah.

I just want it to be special, you know.

Want the kids to have great memories.

I mean, who's to say

that this can't be the best Christmas ever? Mm.

Agreed.

You know, you would be a lot more convincing

if you changed up your responses.

I have Ron's family arriving in an hour

and a to-do list a mile long.

Oh. Well, go.

You don't need the company?

No, I'm good.

You positive?

Yeah, honey, I got everything under control. Oh.

You always have such a good attitude.

Thanks.

Oh, your baster! Oh.

Hey!

Merry Christmas!

Come here. Hmm?

Huh?

Merry Christmas, Phoebe.

Merry Christmas, Nell.

Talk to you later.

Alden, your sled!

You little stinker.

She could throw you a ball, hmm?

She's got a good arm.

She puts a lot of effort into Christmas.

Your new home.

Aah! Ooh! Aah!

Oh, my gosh.

Oh.

Oh, my gosh. Alden!

Get out here! We got a puppy!

Hey.

Alden, get out here!

Aah!

Oh. Oh, no.

My gosh, mister. Oh.

I'm so sorry.

Hey, it snowed!

Aah! Ooh. Oh, my gosh. Okay.

I'd better call 911. No, no, no. Lady, don't do that.

Why? You're hurt. No. I just...

His little bow. I got the wind knocked out of me. It's okay.

We got a puppy?

What did I tell you

about leaving your sled on the walkway?

I think the puppy's from Daddy.

No. No, the puppy is not from Daddy.

You don't know that. He said he's sending us a surprise.

Well, the surprise is not a dog!

He knows we've been asking.

Would you knock it off with the dog?!

This man is in pain.

Do you want I.B. Probin?

What can I do?

How can I help you? Yeah, can you just

loosen my shoe, please? Yeah, sure.

Oh, no.

Oh, mister, this is not good.

Your-your ankle is, like... It's really swelling.

I'm fine. No. Uh...

Oh! Ow. You are... you are not fine.

Okay, I'm not fine. Um...

Think. Okay, I'm gonna take you to the hospital.

Should I call somebody,

have 'em meet us there? No.

I'll stay home. I'm in the middle of a game.

No, you won't! Now, go put on your shoes!

Can somebody shut up that dog?!

I'll be right back, okay? Okay.

Move it, lady!

Learn how to drive!

Hang in there, mister. We're almost there.

Thank you.

Mom, we could walk faster than this.

Hey, I'm not a snow driver, okay?

She grew up in Los Angeles.

The only time she drove fast in the snow

was when my brother tripped when he was playing his new game

and got a lollipop stick stuck in his throat.

It was an accident.

And, as you can see, obviously,

he's learned his lesson. She's saying I'm a gamer.

Yeah, he has a real setup at home.

Okay, Emma, just keep it quiet.

The poor man

is in a lot of pain.

You're not helping.

Maybe I could sing. No!

Please. Please, no.

Maybe later, okay?

I'm studying opera.

It's music where, when a guy gets stabbed in the back,

he doesn't bleed. He sings.

What? Well, that's not true.

Aah! Whoops! Sorry. Everybody okay?

Moments away. Moments away from seeing the doctor.

Uh, Mom, you can't park here.

Well, uh, it's just while I'm unloading.

But, Mom, it says no parking.

Thank you, Emma.

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.