Sobachie Serdtse (Heart of a Dog / Собачье сердце)

LenFilm

On Request of The StateTeleRadio of the USSR

Creative Team of Telefilms

THE HEART OF A DOG

Based on a short story by Mikhail Afanasievich BULGAKOV

Part I

We are against the drunk

"We are against drinking of fathers, brothers: Quite Drinking!"

Oh, look at me, I'm dying.

A bastard in a dirty white cap - the cook of the canteen

at the Economy National Council - scalded my side.

What a snake!

Although he is a proletarian.

God, it hurts!

What did I do to him?

Do I steal from the Council of National Economy's food supply

if I go through their garbage?

Greedy pig.

A thief with a copper snout!

God, I am so hungry.

Our destiny was to come back from the battle

Working class is celebrating.

Tell me, Uncle, for the sake of the people

No enemy will escape us.

Chu, chu, chu: say the hoofs of our horses

Chu, chu, chu: echoes the machine-gun.

The White Army is totally destroyed.

Nobody will ever destroy the Red army!

The White Army is totally destroyed

The Red Army will never be destroyed.

MainFish

Beer

Janitors, of all other proletariats,

are the worst vilest filth.

Human waste, the lowest class.

Cooks could be different.

Take for example Vlas from Prechistenka How many lives he saved!

Vlas would give you a bone and there was a bit of meat on it.

Sharik, poor thing, you are so cold.

She is a typist.

She gets a category nine salary of 4,5 chervonets.

She is underpaid at work, badly fed at the canteen.

She cannot afford even cinema.

And the cinema is the only comfort in women's life.

Have you ever been kicked into the backside with a boot?

Or hit with a brick in the ribs?

My body is all broken, all beaten up.

People have done enough violence to my body.

She called me Sharik.

I am no Sharik, am I?

Sharik means a round, fat

stupid dog that's fed on oatmeal, with a pedigree. And me?

My further career is crystal clear to me.

Tomorrow I'll get pneumonia

and having contracted that, dear citizens, I will croak of hunger.

I will crawl getting weaker

and any specialist will finish me off with a stick.

Yeah, this one wouldn't gobble up rotten salty beef.

What did he want to buy in that cheap store?

Sausage!

Dear Sir! Give it to me!

As a matter of fact, what do you need the Special Cracowian sousage for?

Why do you need the rotten horse meat?

It's only in the MosSelProm that you can get poison as this.

I will lick your hands what else can I do?

No collar.

Excellent. You're just what I need.

Come with me.

Obukhov Alley? Very well. This place is very well known to me.

Good evening, Philip Philipovich.

- Good evening, Fyodor. Any letters for me? - None at all, sir.

What are you waiting for? Don't be afraid, come in.

Hey, no. There's a porter here. More dangerous than janitors.

Worse than cats.

Come in, come in.

Come in, please.

Philip Philipovich, they put new residents into flat 3.

- Really? - Yes, sir, whole four items.

God! I can imagine what it's like in that flat now. What are they up to?

Nothing special, sir.

And Fyodor Pavlovitch?

He's gone to get some screens and bricks.

They're going make some partitions, Philip Philipovich.

What is happening?! Dear me, dear me!

Come, come with me.

Where did you get that from, Philip Philipovich? He is lousy and ugly.

What nonsense. He isn't lousy.

That's not lice.

It's a burn. What bastard threw the boiling water over you?

Take him into the operation room at once and get me my smock.

Come with me. Come. This way, come.

-- I can't Philip Philipovich! - Doctor Bormenthal, get the ether!

- Doctor Bormenthal! - Hold on, you bastard!

Zina, grab him by the scruff of the neck, damn him!

No electricity. Again.

Just a moment.

Look out, Doctor.

Singing: From Seville to Granada in the twilightÉ

Silly head, why did you bite the doc? Why did you break the glass?

OK, you've come to your senses, so just lie there, silly.

So I have bit him. That's my work.

That means a beating.

How did you manage to invite such a nervous dog, Philip Philipovich.

With tenderness.

The only way with a living being.

Terror will get you nowhere. I said before, now and will always say.

They think terror will help them. It won't.

No matter which color this terror is - white, red, or could be brown.

Zina! I bought for this scoundrel some Krakow sausage.

Please feed him when he gets over the nausea.

Krakowian sausage!? I'd rather eat it myself.

Just try! It's poison to the human stomach, that's what it is.

You are a grown-up, but keep putting nasty things into your mouth, like a child.

Remember, neither me, nor doctor Bormenthal will help you

when you go down with a stomach ache.

So, you've come to senses? Let's go see the patients.

Be quiet!

An old patient.

Good afternoon, Professor.

-- Good God! It's hard to recognize you! -- You are a magician, a wizard, Professor.

- How is sleep? - Are we alone, Professor?

Incredible! I haven't had anything like that for 25 years.

Believe it or not

every night I dream of naked girls - hordes of them.

Take off your pants.

Oh, Professor, if only you'd discovered rejuvenation of hair!

One thing at a time, my dear, one thing at a time.

Look here, you shouldn't overdo it, you know.

I don't. Only as an experiment, dear Professor.

Well, and what were the results?

Oh! Swear to God, I haven't had anything like that for 25 years.

The last time was in 1899 in Paris on La Rue de la Paix.

Delightful. Everything is in great shape.

I must say I never expected such results.

Much blood and many songs for the most dear

To the one who's most charming

One, two, three.

- You don't have to come for another two weeks. - Thank you.

The age is filled incorrectly. She is probably 54 or 55.

Heartbeat's muffled.

- Do come in. - Good afternoon, Professor.

- How old are you, madam? - Oh, Professor

Professor, if you only knew what drama I am going through!

- Your age, madam? - Upon my honour

Well, I am 45.

Madam, there are patients waiting. Please don't waste my time.

I will tell you and only you as a luminary of science.

- How old are you, madam? - That is just awful. I am 51.

Take off your knickers. This way.

It is such drama, Professor. It is so appalling.

I don't know what to do. Help me, Professor.

Amoral flat.

But what comfort!

What the hell dow he want me for?

Will he let me live here? What an eccentric!

He could get a dog with a pedigree at a wink of his eye!

Or maybe I am good-looking? I must be my luck.

We will deal with that owl!

Get dressed.

I swear, Professor, this Moris He is my only passion.

He is a gambler and a cheat. He is known for that all over Moscow.

He can't resist a single horrid seamstress.

But he is so devilishly young!

I will transplant the ovaries of a monkey to you, madam.

What? Not a monkey, surely, Professor?

Yes.

When is the surgery?

From Seville to Granada in the quiet of the twilight

Monday. Come to the clinic in the morning, my assistant prepare you.

I don't want to do it at the hospital. Can't you do it here, Professor?

lmpossible. You see, I operate at home only in extreme cases.

It will be too expensive. 50 chervontsev.

- That is all right. - Settled then.

Goodbye, Professor.

Is there anyone here besides the tenants?

- No. - Where is the Professor?

Over there.

- You came to see me? - Don't worry, comrade.

We've come to see you, Professor, on a matter of business.

You should wear galoshes, dear sirs! In the first place you may catch a cold.

Secondly, you'll leave dirt all over my carpets my Persian carpets.

- Firstly, we are not sirs. - Firstly, are you a man or a woman?

- What difference does it make, comrade? - I am a woman.

In that case you may keep your hat on.

As for you, dear sir, I would ask you to take yours off.

I am not a dear sir to you.

- We've come to see you Professor on a matter of business. - Who are we?

We are the new House Management Committee of this block.

I am Shvonder, her name is Viazemskaya.

Comrade Pestrukhin and comrade Zharovkin.

- It was you they placed into Fyodor Pavlovich Sablin's flat? - Yes, us.

Ah, God, this house is finished. What's going to happen to the steam heating?

- Are you making fun of us, Professor? - Far from it.

So, what brings you here? Be brief, it's my dinner time.

We've come to see you Professor for the following reason.

We the House Committee, came to see you after a general meeting of tenants

There was raised the question of using up extra living space in the house

Who raised what?

Be so kind as to express yourself more clearly.

The question of using up extra living space was raised.