Zeta One

**

* Zeta answers calls for distress *

* If you get in a mess call for Zeta *

* Her beautiful girls are right out of this world *

* So leave no stone unturned send for Zeta *

* She's all around you yet not here at all *

* Unless you should call dial Zeta Zeta Zeta Zeta *

* Z-E-T-A Zeta *

**

**

**

* She's all around you yet not here at all *

* Unless you should call dial Zeta Zeta *

* Zeta is the meaning of love *

* From a person so warm but mysterious *

* Her beautiful girls are right out of this world *

* So leave no stone unturned *

* Send for Zeta *

* Don't be afraid she won't hurt you *

* Don't be afraid *

* She only wants love **

(Something metallic clattering)

Why, James!

Miss Olsen.

Anne.

What are you doing here?

Why aren't you at the office?

Well, I came 'round to see if you were back

So I started clearing up a bit.

Thought I'd surprise you.

Surprise me!

I'd have shot you.

**

Well, it doesn't really do anything for you.

Didn't fool anybody either.

Well, you're not going to shoot me now, are you?

So why don't you put that gun away?

I'm on your side, remember?

How did you get in?

I found this in your personal file,

Along with your collar size, fingerprints

And other interesting information.

You have access to my personal file?

Well, naturally.

I am W's private secretary.

I see.

Don't worry, I won't tell anybody.

Tell anybody what?

There's some very private details there.

What details?

Mmm, just details.

Well, you can tell W for me I consider it a bloody cheek,

His having a key to my apartment.

Well, it's not really surprising.

You are a spy.

Spies went out with Mata Hari and black cloaks.

I'm an agent.

Call it what you like.

You spend your time snooping around other people.

You can't really blame your boss

For doing a little snooping on you.

You can't trust anybody these days, can you?

**

Well.

What's this?

Coq Au vin.

Mmm!

My specialty.

Mmm.

Well, I'm afraid the dinner will be another half hour.

What do we do till then?

Have a drink?

Be my guest.

**

What'll you have?

A "punte mays"

With ice and lemon.

Exotic taste.

I'm afraid I haven't got any.

Oh, yes, you have.

It's in the fridge.

I bought some.

May I ask what all this is in aide of, Miss Olsen?

Anne.

Anne.

And there's no need to be so suspicious.

You are a bachelor.

So I thought...

I might need some care and attention?

Mm-hmm.

After your strenuous mission.

Just because I'm a bachelor

Doesn't necessarily mean I lead a monastic existence.

Oh, I know all about your sex life.

The files?

Mm-hmm.

God help us.

Why do you endure?

Sit down.

Tell me what you've been doing.

Why, you should know!

Oh, W doesn't tell me anything like that.

Of course not.

Just the details of his agents' sex lives.

Oh, he doesn't tell me that either.

I found that out myself.

You can find out about the mission for yourself as well.

That's what I'm trying to do.

I want to know all about it.

**

Why don't you tell me the real reason you came here?

What do you think?

This isn't the Miss Olsen I'm used to.

Are you surprised?

It's nice to know you're human.

So?

So what?

So, um...

What are you going to do about it?

Have another drink.

Now then, Miss... Anne.

You appreciate that whatever happens from now on

Is entirely our own responsibility.

Mmm.

Completely at your own initiative.

Mmm?

And quite beyond my control.

Mmm.

You really are very attractive.

You're not without a certain something yourself.

In fact,

you're very sexy.

A bit conceited perhaps,

but very sexy.

James?

Hmm?

Shall we eat before or after?

After, definitely.

I mean, after you tell me how the mission went.

The what?

Well, how you got on in Scotland.

At a time like this, you want to talk about Scotland?

Well, I know it had something to do with a Major Bourdon.

That's all I heard.

The hell with Major Bourdon. Mmmm.

James.

Hmm?

Will you do something for me?

Anything.

Pour me another drink, darling.

Now?

Well, I like to spin things out,

Don't you?

Yes.

Ice.

Lemon? Mm-hmm.

Anything else? Uh-uh.

Now then.

Where were we?

You were about to tell me about Major Bourdon.

Do I get the impression that you're leading me on?

I'd just like to get to know you a little, that's all.

Haven't the files told you all you need to know?

No, darling.

Not what I want to know.

Relax, we've got all night.

Well, what do we do in the meanwhile?

Whatever you like.

Watch television?

Play chess?

Strip poker? Ah!

Now that's better.

Strip poker? Mm-hmm.

It's my favorite game.

**

I'll get the cards.

Winner chooses?

Chooses what?

What we do next.

Ah.

It's a deal.

**

One should always play cards in style, don't you think?

Oooh.

Which side will you have?

I'll sit here.

**

That's cheating.

Oh no, it isn't.

You've got more clothes on than I have.

I'll start equal.

**

Cut for deal.

My deal.

**

How many will you change?

Oh.

Three.

**

Dealer takes one.