Aladdin

Ah, salaam and good evening to you, worthy friend.

Please, please, come closer.

Too close. A little too close.

There.

Welcome to Agrabah,

city of mystery, of enchantment,

and the finest merchandise this side of the River Jordan,

on sale today. Come on down.

Look at this. Yes.

Combination hookah and coffeemaker. Also makes julienne fries.

Will not break. Will not...

It broke.

Ohh! Look at this.

I have never seen one of these intact before.

This is the famous Dead Sea Tupperware.

Listen. Ah, still good.

Wait. Don't go.

I can see that you're only interested in the exceptionally rare.

I think, then, you would be most rewarded to consider this.

Do not be fooled by its commonplace appearance.

Like so many things, it is not what is outside,

but what is inside that counts.

This is no ordinary lamp.

It once changed the course of a young man's life.

A young man who, like this lamp, was more than what he seemed.

A diamond in the rough.

Perhaps you would like to hear the tale?

It begins on a dark night,

where a dark man waits

with a dark purpose.

You are late.

A thousand apologies, O patient one.

You have it, then?

I had to slit a few throats, but I got it.

Ah-ah-ahhh.

The treasure.

Ow!

Trust me, my pungent friend.

- You'll get what's coming to you. - What's coming to you. Awk!

Quickly! Follow the trail.

Faster.

At last, after all my years of searching,

the Cave of Wonders.

Awk. Cave of Wonders.

By Allah.

Now, remember. Bring me the lamp.

The rest of the treasure is yours, but the lamp is mine.

Awk, the lamp. Awk, the lamp.

Jeez, where'd you dig this bozo up?

Shh.

- Who disturbs my slumber? - (THIEF GASPS)

It is I, Gazeem, a humble thief.

Know this.

Only one may enter here,

one whose worth lies far within.

A diamond in the rough.

What are you waiting for? Go on.

- (ROARING) - (SCREAMING)

No!

Seek thee out the diamond in the rough.

I can't believe it. I just don't believe it.

We're never gonna get a hold of that stupid lamp.

Just forget it. Look at this. I'm so ticked off that I'm molting.

Patience, Iago. Patience.

Gazeem was obviously less than worthy.

Oh, there's a big surprise.

I think I'm gonna have a heart attack and die from that surprise.

What are we gonna do? We got a big problem here, a big...

Yes.

Only one may enter.

I must find this one, this...

Diamond in the rough.

Stop! Thief!

I'll have your hands for a trophy, street rat.

All this for a loaf of bread?

Whoa!

There he is! - You won't get away so easy!

You think that was easy?

You two, over that way, and you, follow me.

- We'll find him. - Morning, ladies.

Getting into trouble a little early today, aren't we, Aladdin?

Trouble? No way. You're only in trouble if you get caught.

- Gotcha. - I'm in trouble.

And this time...

Perfect timing, Abu, as usual.

- Abu. - Come on. Let's get outta here.

I think I'll take a stroll Around the block

Get him!

He's got a sword!

You idiots. We've all got swords.

Yuck! Oy!

And now, esteemed effendi, we feast. All right.

Yum, yum!

Uh-oh.

Here. Go on. Take it.

Ah, don't. Huh?

On his way to the palace, I suppose.

Another suitor for the princess.

- (GIGGLING) - (WOMAN SCREAMS)

- (WHINNYING) - Out of my way, you filthy brats.

Hey!

If I were as rich as you, I could afford some manners.

Oh. I'll teach you some manners.

Look at that, Abu.

It's not every day you see a horse with two rear ends.

Ooh!

You are a worthless street rat.

You were born a street rat, you'll die a street rat,

and only your fleas will mourn you.

I'm not worthless.

And I don't have fleas.

Come on, Abu. Let's go home.

Someday, Abu, things are gonna change.

We'll be rich, live in a palace,

and never have any problems at all.

I've never been so insulted.

Oh, Prince Achmed. You're not leaving so soon, are you?

Good luck marrying her off.

Oh! Jasmine.

Jasmine!

Jasmine!

- Jasmine! - (SNARLING)

Confound it, Rajah.

So, this is why Prince Achmed stormed out.

Oh, Father.

Rajah was just playing with him. Weren't you, Rajah?

You were just playing with that overdressed,

self-absorbed Prince Achmed, weren't you?

Dearest, you've got to stop rejecting every suitor who comes to call.

The law says you must be married to a prince

by your next birthday.

The law is wrong.

You've only got three more days.

Father, I hate being forced into this.

If I do marry, I want it to be for love.

Jasmine,