Chef

You walk here?

All right, good. Turn it around.

Legs out.

The bag.

I gotta still hit the farmer's market. What time is it?

- 10:00-ish. - It's 10:00?

I gotta pick up the kid. Where's Tony?

Tony and I were out late last night.

But don't worry, he's gonna be here.

- You got this? - Yes. He's not gonna flake. Neither am I.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

- Yes, Chef. - Wake up. We got a critic coming today.

Why do you think I slept here for, bro?

Let's get going on the soup. We're behind on the egg prep.

And let's get the mise on the steak. You still shitfaced?

No, I'm good. I'm good, Chef.

All right. Help Martin with the pig. We got the pig.

- Hey, pal. - Hey.

Buckle up, buddy. Sorry I'm late.

I'm used to it.

Listen, pal, I don't think we're going to have time to catch a movie today.

Is it 'cause you're getting reviewed?

- Yeah, how'd you know about that? - Mom told me.

What'd she say?

She said you might be a little worried.

- She said that I was worried? - Yeah.

Well, Mom doesn't know me that well, okay?

She's pretty spot on about you.

Oh, yeah? You know what Mommy thinks I should be doing?

- What? - She thinks I should get a food truck.

- I like food trucks. - Yeah, I like food trucks.

Who doesn't like food trucks?

Can you picture me driving around a food truck? I'm a chef.

- I work in a restaurant. - Okay.

Listen, I gotta go to the farmer's market, pick up some ingredients.

Okay. Can I come?

I was thinking I'd drop you off at the restaurant. Molly's there.

No, I want to go with you.

You're not gonna be asking me for everything you see?

No.

It's not about you eating. It's about me buying groceries.

- I know. - Okay. Good.

You got the purple and white?

- Just orange. - Just orange?

Give me six bunches of those, or eight if they're small.

Hang on a second, buddy.

And on the radishes here, I use the tops, okay? I need consistent tops.

- Dad. - Is that what's happening?

- Six of these. Let's see what we got. - Dad.

What do you want, Percy? What do you want?

- Can I please have kettle corn? - Daddy's working, okay?

No, you're not gonna get kettle... Why don't you get a nice piece of fruit?

I don't want fruit.

How can you even ask for kettle corn?

- You know what kettle corn is? - No.

Kettle corn is carbs covered with sugar, okay?

Look at this piece of fruit. It's beautiful.

How could you even want kettle corn

with a gorgeous piece of fruit like this in front of you?

Why don't you have a piece of fruit?

So apparently they're sending a big reviewer who's also some huge food blogger.

- You know what a food blogger is? - Yeah.

A guy who writes about food on the Internet.

I know what a food blogger is.

Well, this guy's a big one, and a lot of these big guys,

they don't like me. They got it in for me because

I got a lot of good write-ups when I started out.

- They're haters. - Exactly.

We didn't have that word when I was growing up.

There was no word for hater.

The most you would say is that somebody was, like, jealous,

which didn't really capture it.

The sausage guy is here. You ever try andouille sausage?

- No. - It's spicy. You like spicy?

- No. - It's not so spicy. Come on.

That's from New Orleans. You ever heard of New Orleans?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

It's part of the United States. It's part of the Louisiana Purchase from Napoleon.

Yeah. That was... I mean like now.

- That was a long time ago. - 1803.

Whatever. I'm talking about the food, the culture, you know?

Like this andouille sausage. Beignets.

- You ever hear of that? - We can get it here.

Not the same. When you have it here, it's good because

it reminds you of like a whole world of memories that you have

of being there. 'Cause it's like,

I'm telling you, it's like a whole different world.

We should go there sometime.

- Definitely. - For real?

Yeah. I mean not now.

- But like... - When?

I don't know. I got... Everything's very full for me.

- I got this reviewer coming. - After the review?

Yeah, after the review. That would be good.

I'm off school next month.

Next month? Yeah, we could go next month.

- Awesome. - Or whatever. Or like if you're...

If it doesn't... I'll ask Mom.

If it doesn't work out next month, we'll go later or something.

But we'll definitely check it out.

I already did. She's cool with it.

You asked her already?

Where'd you get a phone? How come you have a phone already?

Everybody your age have phones?

Yo, Bubba, I need some sauce on there, okay?

Yo, Bubba, I need some sauce on there, okay?

Whose bacon is this, huh? I gotta watch this, too?

When I find out who it is, grab your ankles 'cause here comes Papi Chulo.

Where we at? Talk to me, people. How we doing?

The stock's simmering, the pig's broken down, bacon are fine.

- Demi's reducing. - Good.

Guys, big night tonight. You all know what's happening?

Yeah? Okay, let me know as soon as he gets here.

I want people having fun at all the tables around him. Call your pretty friends.

Bring them in. Tell them the tickets are on me.

All right? And the stemware looks crooked. Let's get out there.

Don't make me get the fucking ruler out again, please. Thank you.

- Chef. Look what he did. - I got the good shit. You see this, Martin?

- Look at that. That's a specimen. - Baby carrots.

- I got you curry paste with... - Copy that. Copy that.

- Carl. - Not right now, please.

Where the fuck did you get these juicy ass tomatoes?

- Riva's here. - Okay, you got it? Let's get...

What the hell's Riva doing here?

I don't know. He was on his way back here.

I got him an espresso. Bought you maybe five minutes of time.

You should meet him out on the floor.

Just stall him for five minutes. Let me get the staff going, please.

Okay. Fine. Expect him to come back here.

Yeah, thank you.

How you gonna keep that psychopath from coming back here?

- You got to have a plan. - Boss, you want me to pickle these?

Yeah, pickle these, I want you to pickle...

- Is Carl in there? - Yeah.

Hey, Carl!

Carl.

Are you planning on altering the menu?

Yeah. I can't do this right now. Please just...

You know a lot is on the line today.

I know. That's why the menu has to be perfect.

Yeah, but I can help you plan it.

I can't do this right now. Just give me five minutes to get my staff going.

I'll come, and I'll walk you through the menu.

Carl, I've done this before. I can help guide you.

I don't need guidance right now. I need space.

Okay?

Thank you.

Could we have a little privacy, guys?

I ask you to leave, you gotta look at Carl?

Okay, everybody, tomen cinco, take five.

- You good? - I got it. Go. Grab a coffee.

- Let's get something straight. - Yeah.

You don't fucking talk to my staff like that.

I talk to my staff. That side of the pass is you, this side is me.

That was the arrangement that we had when you hired me.

Okay, now will you listen to me for a minute?

Carl, I get ideas. Sometimes my ideas work.

I really don't care what magazine said that you're the next big thing.

The fact is you work for me in my restaurant, right?

I've had chefs before you in this kitchen. I'll have chefs after you. Okay?

All right, good talk. Let me get back to work.

You know who's coming tonight.

We're being reviewed by the most important critic in the city.

- Yes. I'm aware. - You know that his online blog

- was sold to AOL... - For $10 million.

- That's right. You knew that? Okay. - Yes. Yes, I know.

He's a big deal and that's why I wanna cook him a good menu.

You wanna give him a... You wanna cook a good menu?

- Yeah. I wanna cook him some good food. - Yeah. Well, then...

And our place is in a fucking creative rut.

- In a rut? - In a creative rut.

You do know that we're doing better than any place in the neighbourhood?

I'm not talking about how much money we're making.

I'm talking about creatively, the food that we're serving.

It's the same food we've been serving for five years.

Do you remember what happened when you put guts on the menu?

Are you talking about my sweetbreads, is that what you mean by guts?

Yeah. When you put that artsy shit on the menu, people don't like it.

Not one person ordered your sweetbreads.

Please listen to me. I sank a fortune into the remodel to get you

the French cooking top, whatever it is, that tabletop.

French cooking suite.

Right. Not every chef gets that.

- No. I appreciate it. - You know why you get it?

- Do you know why? Because you deserve it. - No.

See, you don't know that. But I know it. You deserve it.

So be smart just for tonight.

Look, if you bought Stones tickets

and Jagger didn't play Satisfaction, how would you feel?

Would you be happy?

- No. - No!

You'd burn the place to the fucking ground.

Your menu works.

People love it.

Carl, do what you want tonight. Okay? You're the chef.

You know what I think? I think you should play your hits.

All right, let's go. Pre-shift, guys.

Big night tonight. Here's what we're doing.

We're gonna go with the favourites,

starting with the caviar egg,