Going Under

All of my past washes over me.

All of my past is in this room.

I found you.

All of the women I have been with are eclipsed by you.

I am stripped.

I think of you as my patient.

I treat you.

I'm stripped also.

I searched and searched for you.

I want to know you.

I, like my work,

there are rules.

They protect us.

The movement of your hands.

The rhythm of your hands has become my resting place.

Momentary peace...

so sweetly broken apart.

Take off the mask.

You still have about an hour.

Do you wanna do the piercing?

Yeah.

- Aah. - Shh.

It's almost there.

- Do you wanna look? - Sure.

It's a little deeper than last time.

Yeah.

Do you wanna try another one?

Sure.

I love doing this.

It's through.

Hold still now.

- Hold still. - Uh-huh.

This is the best part.

Aah!

I wrote a little note.

As usual.

Remember last week

when the phone lines were all screwed up?

God, yeah. I lost a whole day's work practically.

I was out a lot of money.

I called you that day.

I know, you told me.

I got scared the place had closed down. I...

I worried I would never get in touch with you.

I'm going to quit at the end of the month.

I was thinking we could try...

seeing each other on the outside.

You...

you know I've wanted this for a long time.

Yes, I know.

How should we do this?

Why don't you give me your number and I'll call you?

I'll give you my card.

Mm.

Okay, look. The guy told me 1:00, all right?

- What, do you think I made this up? - No, no, no, no.

I didn't say that. I only said that Jeff does not come in on Fridays,

so there must be some misunderstanding.

- A misunderstanding? - Yes, a misunderstanding. I'm sorry.

Staff meeting was moved up to three today, right?

Uh, yes.

Mail keeps piling up.

Just getting in and you already look like you need a Valium, Peter.

I'll drop by your office later.

So what's going on?

Sorry to bug you about this, but what do you think I should say

to the Oxford people on the phone today?

Uh, about?

Remember the kid who hid himself in the building a couple of weeks ago?

Oh, right.

Well, all I can say is

you must tell them what you already know.

They're gonna cut him off unless you exaggerate what's going on.

What, like claiming he's suicidal?

Well, that depends on how strongly you feel he should stay in therapy.

- Anything else? - No.

Thanks.

Thanks for calling. No messages.

Ooh.

No, no, no, no. Relax, relax, just leave them.

Is there something going on?

You've been kind of hard to talk to these days.

I know, I've been pretty distracted.

Is it the clinic?

In part.

Do you think this has anything to do with May's going away to college?

Doesn't feel that way.

Except her leaving makes me know that I'm older.

I've been pretty preoccupied myself.

Ugh, if I don't finish this book

up in Nova Scotia this summer, I don't know.

It's not just work.

Well, what is it, then?

There's a dominant that I've been seeing.

I mean... I mean, I've been seeing...

one dominant for a while now.

She told me the other day she's gonna stop working.

I've become very...

attached to her.

Is it...

Is it personal or professional,

this attachment you have to her?

- Both. - Both?

We're gonna try to get together for coffee

after she's stopped working.

Are you telling me this to reassure yourself that that's all it'll be?

No, that is all it will be.

I just didn't want you to think it was something else.

I didn't mean to...

I just wanted to tell you.

Hello?

I told you I'd call you.

Hi.

- Sorry, am I late? - No, not at all.

So how you doing?

It's strange seeing you on the outside.

Well, how?

You're uncomfortable, too. I can tell.

I, uh, well, I... I guess I am a little nervous.

That's good.

Oh, um, just a glass of white wine for me, please.

Yeah, I'll have the same.

You said on the phone your wife's gone for the summer?

Yeah, she's up in Nova Scotia writing.

It must be hard on you with your wife gone for so long?

I'm used to it.

She goes there every summer.

Does that mean you've done this before?

Done what?

What we are doing right now.

No...

not with anyone I've ever seen.

- This is stupid. - What? What?

Us talking like this. The whole thing.

- I should go. - Suzanne...

I should go.

I'll never feel comfortable about how we met.

We would never have met in any other way.

That doesn't change the way I feel.

What do you want from me?

Nothing.

Well, that's not true.

I do wanna talk to you.

You wanna know about me.

Yes.

Remember that guy I told you about? The one who liked extreme bondage?

Who? Hog-tie Harry?

Something happened with him about three weeks before I quit.

He was one of my first regulars.

I never really liked him,

but I've always allowed him to see me.

Out of some kind of perverse loyalty, I guess.

But the last time I saw him, it wasn't just that I didn't like him...

he repulsed me.

- What did he ask you to do? - No, no, it's not that.

It's more that I felt that he deserved to be humiliated

like he should be kicked around.

Didn't he feel he deserved to be humiliated?

I liked hurting him, Peter.

Are you saying you never felt this way before?

I discovered I couldn't distance myself from the work.

Was I involved in this?

I knew we had gotten too close.

It's late.

I'm happy here.

I like being with you.

I like being with you, too.

Suzanne, stop.

What's the matter?

Are you enjoying this?

Of course I am.

I wasn't sure.

I'm not available right now.

Who is it?

Robert.

Um... did you decide?

Diana.

- I can take your tribute now. - Yeah, sure.

Here. All right?

- Great. - Good.

Make yourself comfortable.

Take a position and Mistress Diana

- will be with you shortly. - Thank you.

Okay.

You're supposed to be kneeling.

I guess I wanted to talk first.

Kneel in front of me and we'll have a consultation.

What do you like?

I love to be stretched...

on a rack or on the bed,

sometimes across a horse.

I used to take a lot more pain.

I'm into the more erotic parts of this now.

You know what a zipper is?

Yes, I love that,

but what I'm saying is that for the scene to be successful,

I need to be touched where the pain is.

Okay.

Spread your legs out.

More.