Midnight Cowboy

- Where's that Joe Buck? - Where's that Joe Buck?

Where's that Joe Buck?

Where is our Joe Buck? Look at this crap!

Yeah, where's that Joe Buck?

- Where's that Joe Buck? - Where's that Joe Buck?

You're due here at 4:00.

You know what you can do with them dishes.

And if you ain't man enough to do it for yourself,

I'd be happy to oblige.

I really would.

- How ya doin', Ralph? - Hey.

Four o'clock. 4:00 to midnight. That's when you're due here.

Mr. Epperson, I wonder if you could have a word with me for a second?

What the hell you doin' in that getup?

Grab an apron and clean up that crap back there.

Yeah, he knows what the hell he can do with that crap.

- Ain't you comin' to work? - I guess not, Ralph.

Hell, I just come to collect my pay, tell you all I'm headin' up East.

You're headin' up East?

Yeah, I thought I'd say good-bye to you.

Just come to look around a little bit, you know.

Cups!

Well...

good-bye.

Good-bye.

What are you gonna do back East?

There's a lot of rich women back there, Ralph, beggin' for it. Payin' for it too.

- Yeah? - Yeah, hell, yeah.

And the men, they're mostly tutti-fruttis.

Oh, I bet you it's a mess back there.

- So I gonna cash in on some of that. Right? - I don't know.

I don't know nothin' about it.

Hell, what do I got to stay around here for? I got places to go. Right?

Oh.

Oh, that's nice.

Oh, lower.

That's real...

nice, honey.

Sure is a powerful mother, ain't it?

Yeah, sure is a powerful mother.

This is the shooting season.

So now is the time to go to Lloyd's Discount Store

for all ofyourgun supplies.

Listen to these values. Remington shotgun for only 72.47...

You look real nice, lover boy. Real nice.

Make your oldgrandma proud.

You're gonna be the best-lookin' cowboy in the whole parade.

You'll be the best-lookin' one there.

Bye, honey.

I'll leave a TVdinner in the fridge.

Your oldgrandma got herselfa new beau.

Bye now.

Excuse me, mister.

Excuse me, but do you have another piece of gum for her?

Oh, yes, ma'am, I do. Here.

Take one for yourself too.

Thank you, no. It's just till the Dramamine works.

She gets carsick.

I only get carsick on boats.

But it seems to me that's more the fish smell than the bouncin'.

- How far you headed? - Shh.

- To Dallas. - Up Dallas, are ya?

Where you goin'?

I'm headin' on up New York City, ma'am.

Mmm.

Do you love me, Joe?

Do you love me?

Do you love me?

You're the only one, Joe.

You're... You're the only one.

You're better, Joe. You're better than the rest of them.

You're better than any of them, Joe.

You love me, Joe? You're better than all of them.

You're the best, Joe.

Love me, Joe.

Joe! Joe?

Joe.

Do you love me, Joe?

Do you love me?

Love me.

You're the only one, Joe.

You're the only one.

You're the best, Joe.

You're the best.

...consecutive broadcast of The Sunshine Hour.

Oh, yes, sweet Jesus! I tell you, faith healin'.

I got a letter here from a sister enclosing ten dollars

and two malignant tumors she coughed up during last week's prayer meeting on the air.

Praise Jesus!

Now, before we join in prayer for this poor sister,

Jesus wants to know how many sent in five dollars

for their home worship kit containing prayer shawl...

- You want a cigarette, sir? - No, thanks. Chew tobacco.

Sing along with Sister Rosella.

You throw in Sister Rosella, you got a deal. Right, old-timer?

You ever run into a cowhand by the name of Woodsy Niles?

Woodsy Niles, sir?

Not to my knowledge.

Friend of my grandma, Sally Buck.

I want it on.

77 Radio in New York. This is Ron Lundy, love.

This is WABC. And now...

That's New York talkin' there, ma'am.

- Let's ask some of the ladies here. - Hear that?

Ma'am, what is your ideal in a man?

My ideal is Gary Cooper, but he's dead.

Thank you. Ma'am, what is your ideal in a man?

A man who takes pride in his appearance.

Kindly consideration first.

Tall. Definitely tall.

Someone I can talk to in bed.

A good sense of humor. Not afraid of sex.

A Texas oilman.

Aggressiveness.

Outdoor type.

A rebel.

Young.

You.

Yahoo!

Uh, excuse me, ma'am.

Thank you.

Shit.

... grand time talking to Mrs. Drevin,

who's going to give us her remedy for insomnia.

Gosh, I sure will. It's pretty unusual, but anyway...

You know what I do? I move furniture around.

So help me. Everything but the sofa, you know?

- And that's my remedy for insomnia. - Isn't that marvelous?

My remedy is, ma'am, you just dial the hotel here, ask for Joe Buck.

- I iron my husband's shirts. - Joe Buck.

... on The American Exchange, brought to you by Morgan Vandercook.

Up your income with sound investment...

Up your income, lady.

20 and 7/8ths, up one and 5/8ths.

22 and a half, up one and 3/8ths.

Mohawk Data Science is 64 and 5/8ths, down one and 1/8th.

six, up one half.

Loews Theater warrants 34, up one and a half.

four and 1/16th, up 1/8th.

All the dealing before the Dow Jones Industrial A verage closed, up 6.25...

Beg your pardon, ma'am.

I'm new here in town, just in from Texas, you know,

and I'm lookin' for the Statue of Liberty.

Ma'am?

Were you serious? About the Statue of Liberty?

Oh, yes, ma'am. I mean business.

I'm sorry. I...

Well, the Statue of Liberty.

Well, I think you take the Seventh Avenue subway.

- No, wait a minute now... - You sure are a pretty lady.

You're not looking for the Statue of Liberty at all.

No, ma'am, I ain't.

Why, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Come on, Baby. Do it for Mama.

Come on, Baby. Mama's tired.

Baby, come on.

Do it for Mama.

Hey, you little old dog. How you doin' there, scutter?

They got you all gussied up for some damn thing, ain't they?

Uh, pardon me, ma'am.

Uh, I'm brand-spankin'- new in this here town,

and I was hopin' to get a look at the Statue of Liberty.

- Hopin' to get a look at what? - Uh, Statue of Liberty.

It's up in Central Park taking a leak.

If you'll hurry up, you'll catch the supper show.

He's picking something up for me.

Hi. I just got your message.

- How do you feel? - Don't ask.

Oh, I had such a head. I loved your friend Mr. Needleman.

- The last of the great King Midases. - You ain't kiddin', baby.

Go, go, go. My God, I was exhausted.

It was beautiful, Maury, but... Oh, God! Stop!

- I'd die from that! - Who's there? Who you talkin' to?

No, I was just talkin' to Baby.

Baby? What baby?

- I was talking to the dog, Maury! - Thatgoddamn dog.

Please. You're annoying me. Don't start up again.

- I'm annoying you? - Here, look.

Why don't you say hello to Baby, huh?

Baby wants to say hello to you, Daddy.

I don't wanna say hello to the dog, but... Oh, sh... Christ.

- Cass! - Go ahead.

- Daddy wants to say hello to you, Baby. - Hello, Baby. Hello, Baby.

Hello, you goddamn dog.

Bow-wow-wow, Baby. Bow-wow-wow.

- Am I gonna see you tonight? - Where do you wanna eat?

Wherever you say.

- Just you and me. No Needleman. - Hey, that's great.

- Catch an early supper at Lindy's. - What time?

Like 5:30. We don't have to rush.

My wife's away. Her mother's sick.

Beautiful, baby.

I can stay all night, Cass.

How 'bout a little kiss?

You got it.

A big wet one till I see ya.

Hey! Hey, hold it, baby.

Save some of that for tonight, okay?

- Love you. - Love you.

Love you, Cass.