Warehouse 13: Grand Designs - First Season

Attaboy. Attaboy, Trailer.

Who‘s my good little wide receiver?

You are. You are.

You're better than Ochocinco, that's for sure.

All right, now, it's fourth and long, T-dog.

We need you, baby. It's hero time. You ready?

Give me some paw.

All right, or not. Ready?

Break.

Down! Set!

Blue 38! Blue 38!

Check 5! Check 5!

Hut! Hut! Hike!

There goes Lattimer.

Lattimer fakes back.

He fakes right, he fakes left. He fires!

Trailer, that's--

How are you gonna explain that to Artie, huh?

Do you hear that?

What, Myka?

The pitter-patter of rain on the warehouse roof.

No pings, no drama.

Best rainy day ever.

Claudia!

And here comes the thunderstorm.

How many times have I told you...

...that the warehouse is not your personal parking garage?

Come on, give me a break. I just washed this bad girl yesterday.

Not my problem.

What--? What are you doing in there?

-Playing. -With what?

Toyota's awesome multimedia system.

-It‘s app-tastic. -Okay, show me.

That‘s impressive.

-Can I...? -No, don't touch it.

Oh, no.

I can hear Artie now.

"Pete, don't play ball in the house.

You'll put someone's eye out."

Or maybe that was my mom, but I don't know.

Trailer, hey. Hey, bud.

What you got there?

Where did you get this?

Man, how many things did that football knock over?

“Conceptual model. For display purposes only.

Do not activate."

Ominous, but intriguing.

We're not allowed to play with artifacts.

So let's put this baby back where we found it.

What do you say?

It takes a steady hand...

…to put it back where it belongs.

Bingo. Nerves of steel, my friend.

Okay. Get back, Trailer. Get back.

Jules Verne, eat your heart out.

Oh, damn. We should sell these things.

We could make enough money to put in a gym around here.

Okay. Okay. Now, that is cool.

Okay, a little less cool, a little more “Pete, what the hell did you do?"

All right, let‘s go--

Okay.

Game's over, Trailer. Run away. Run away.

Let's find Artie.

Well, it wasn't my fault. I was with you.

Artie, what's happening?

No idea, but apparently it's not Claudia's fault.

I suggest we take cover.

Well, this is certainly a new look.

Steampunk-y, metallic.

And talk about slimming.

Artie, what just happened?

I‘m gonna guess an artifact is triggered.

Yes, but I wonder who triggered it.

It wasn't me.

It wasn't me, I swear. l--

I begged Trailer not to fuss with that old-timey box.

Bad Trailer.

Like what, so the dog ate your homework and--?

Wait a minute, what box?

The one with that steampunk-y diorama inside.

And, hey, Artie, if that was an old science project of yours...

…I give you an A plus, plus.

Diorama?

Oh, no.

-You didn't-- -Didn't what, Artie?

What did Pete not do that we all know he did?

This is the brainchild of Thomas Alva Edison…

...Nikola Tesla and M.C. Escher.

Welcome to the original Warehouse 13.

Artie, how is this the original Warehouse 13?

I thought the original burned down over a century ago.

Yeah, this is what it looked like before the fire…

-…only more 3-D. -Trains, phones, a third dimension?

Times have changed since you were a kid.

So does this mean we‘re inside the diorama now?

Oh, man, I'm still trying to wash the ghoul stink off my favorite teesh…

...from the last time it got sucked into an artifact.

No one has been sucked into anything, Pete.

The warehouse and everything in it...

...has been transformed into a massive two-dimensional scale model.

What? No, I know you didn't do it, Trailer.

All right. When the Regents hired Thomas Edison…

…Nicola Tesla and M.C. Escher to design Warehouse 13 the first time...

…they asked for a proof of concept.

Trailer, I know.

But what they got was an elaborate mechanized diorama…

…showcasing their plans…

...and when somebody, not Trailer, activated that model--

Warehouse 13 1.0 superimposed itself on the current OS.

God, when did I start sounding like Fargo?

And if we don't reboot it back…

…being stuck in 2-D will be the least of our problems.

Okay, so if we just neutralize the thing...

...then this all goes back to normal, right?

Precisely. But first we have to find it.

Pete, what aisle was the model in?

The middle one? Look, I don‘t know.

How do they not all look the same to you people?

You were with Trailer, right? He can show us which one.

Show-off.

All right, fine. Leena, take Trailer, find the model.

Bring it back to my o--

Who ordered the earthquake extra shaky?

Wait, dogs sense seismic activity.

You were trying to tell me something, weren't you? Good, Trailer.

-What caused it? -Claudia, periscope.

Aye, aye, captain.

What am I looking for?

-The Anubis Shrine. -Right.

-What‘s an Anubis Shrine? -The pyramid.

The pyramid. Do you see the pyramid?

Hello, glowy and pointy.

Let me see that.

Oh, this is bad.

That's very bad.

What--? More bad?

Exactly how much bad does this place have?

The first Warehouse 13 was powered by three different energy sources.

Hydroelectricity, wind power and seismic force.

Each of which was generated by an artifact.

You mean like a pyramid that causes earthquakes?

Yes, triggering the diorama must have brought it back online.

And that‘s going to be a problem.

A big one. Those power sources were incredibly unstable.

That‘s why all three were taken off-line decades ago.

Artie, if one's been activated, so will the other two.

And soon.

Left unchecked, any of them could destroy the warehouse.

Then let's shut it down.

Does the pyramid come with an on/off switch?

The Anubis Shrine harnesses the vibrations…

…of green moldavite crystals and converts them into energy.

In order to function properly...

…those crystals must be carefully balanced.

-And if they're not? -More bad.

Yeah. Imagine an 11.0 on the Richter scale…

…and then multiply it by 10.

A hundred and ten point oh.

-What? -Leena, there's no way…

...you‘ll get to the artifact in time.

We must shut that pyramid down.

-Can you…? -I'm on it.

Take Trailer. He‘ll have to vouch for you.

What? Trust me.

It‘s a mighty long walk to that pyramid.

Who said anything about walking?

Trailer, just don‘t get your tongue caught in another artifact.

Wait. Whoa, wait. What do you--? What do you mean nothing works?

Not even the computer?

It looks like any technology hardwired to the warehouse…

…got disconnected when this place was transformed.

-So, no. Not even. -Damn.

So no cable TV either?

How are we supposed to figure out a way to reverse the artifact...

-…without the artifact database? -Try the old-fashioned way.

Pete, manual. Manual, Pete. About time you two got acquainted.

-I hate blind dates. -Not a blind date.

It‘s an arranged marriage. Now read. I‘ll check in with the others.

Yes, Dad, we're exactly where we're supposed to be.

You need to balance those crystals to prevent more tremors.

And if their alignment is off by so much as a hair--

I think I can align a crystal. I‘ve played Bejeweled.

Don’t dawdle. Keep me posted. When you’re done--

Find the artifact, bring it to your office. Goodbye.

You heard the man, better put more giddyap in our yee-haw.

This could be dangerous. One of us should stay out here.

I‘ve got the cavalry on speed dial. Just keep your head down.

We will. Come on, Trailer.

Pete is so buying us dinner for this.

But where to go? I know.

A new ribs joint in Univille. Now how to get there…

I don’t see a door. Do you?

Thanks for getting me past the velvet rope, Trailer.

It's starting again. This way. Hurry.

The crystals must be inside that sarcophagus.

We just have to get to it.

Come on, Trailer. Here goes.

Eat your heart out, Indiana Jones.

No.

No, no, no. This is all wrong.