Wake in Fright

- All right. Off you go. - Happy Christmas, teacher!

- Happy New Year. - Thank you, Dave.

Give my love to your girlfriend in Sydney, sir.

I'll do that, sir, thank you.

Have a happy holiday, sir.

And you, Chris, thank you. Enjoy yourself.

- For your collection, sir. - Thank you very much, Lou.

Bye-bye.

So I'll see you next year, mate.

Shut up!

A middy, please, Charlie.

Having one yourself?

Yeah.

You've, uh...

got snakes in your pocket, have you?

Mmm...

Keys.

Will you be wanting your room when you come back?

Where else would I stay?

But if you get a flood of tourists or anything, Charlie,

I can always stay in the schoolhouse.

See you in six weeks, huh?

Not if I can rob a bank.

- Sure, Ned Kelly. - Mmm.

- See you, then. - Uh-huh.

Excuse me, please.

- 0, fella, come and have a beer with us. - No. No, thanks.

Come on, come and have a beer.

New to the Yabba?

Yes.

Staying long?

No, just tonight.

Oh, that's hard luck.

Want to see a bit more of the Yabba than that.

You think it's worth seeing?

It's the best place in Australia.

- Everybody likes the Yabba. - Why?

Well, it's a friendly place.

Nobody worries who you are or where you come from.

You're a good bloke, you're all right.

You know what I mean?

Excuse me.

Do you have a room for John Grant? I made a booking by letter.

Oh, I'm only staying the night. I'm flying to Sydney in the morning.

You have to pay now.

I think we can manage that.

It'll be $4.

There's $1 deposit on the keys.

You'll get that back when you bring the keys back.

Thank you.

Could you tell me where room seven is, please?

Up the steps and down the corridor to the right.

Hey. Shut it, mate. We're closed.

Excuse me.

You're new to the Yabba?

Well, I just dropped in for the night. I'm flying to Sydney in the morning.

Uh-huh.

- Come far? - Tiboonda.

Ah, nice little place.

Do you like it?

Paradise on Earth.

Yeah.

What do you do out there?

Oh, I'm a bonded slave of the Education Department.

I'm a school teacher.

Oh, yes.

You took over from old Murchison, didn't you?

McDonald, his name is.

Of course. And you're, uh...

- Grant. - Yeah, that's right.

Well, I'll be blown.

Crawford's the name. Jock Crawford.

- John Grant. - I'm pleased to know you, Jack.

What about another beer?

Thanks, Mr Crawford.

- Here you are, Jack. - Thanks.

You, uh... You say you're a slave.

What do you mean by that?

You wouldn't know how our educational authorities

get teachers for the outback?

Wouldn't have a clue, mate.

Now, a new teacher has to post a bond for $1,000.

That 1,000 guarantees you'll serve out your contract

wherever they send you.

Oh, well. I suppose they know what they're doing.

You clever blokes never like to stop in the one spot long, do you?

- Depends on the place. - Yeah, that's right.

Well, never mind, Jack.

You can always come to the Yabba for your holidays.

Good luck.

Yes, that's something to look forward to.

No, thanks, I'll be running along.

Police have much to do in Bundanyabba?

No. No, not really.

We sort of...

We just sort of keep an eye on things.

Honestest little town in Australia, this is, mate.

But, mind you,

there are not too many game enough to try anything around here.

You see, we're so isolated, there's nowhere to go.

We get 'em, and quick.

Sounds like an easy life.

Yeah, not bad.

Of course, we do have a few suicides.

Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, they reckon it's the heat.

Me... I like the heat.

Yeah, it's one way of getting out of town.

What is?

Killing yourself.

Hey, that's good. I like a bloke with a sense of humour.

Oh... Killing yourself.

Two more, Kate.

Have you ever been anywhere else?

Yeah. Did three months' training in the city.

Didn't like it.

A couple more?

Here, give us your dough. I'll get 'em quicker than you.

J Then one foggy Christmas Eve

J Santa came to say

J Rudolph, with your nose so bright

J Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

J Then all the reindeer loved him... J

Here you are.

I slung your change to the steward.

Told him it was yours.

Do you a bit of good when you come back again.

Get up, get up.

'Ladies and gentlemen,

'let us pay a tribute to our fallen comrades.

'They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old.

'Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

'At the going down of the sun, and in the morning,

'we will remember them.'

We will remember them.

'Lest we forget.'

Lest we forget.

'Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.'

No, as long as they close before the show, they're shut...

Come on, the beer's real good here.

Oh, no, Jock. No, I'll pass out if I don't eat soon.

Well, it's easy to see you're not a Yabba man.

A Yabba man!

A Yabba man... You're the Yabba man, Jock.

The Bundanyabba man.

All right, all right.

Come on, I'll show you where you can get a real good steak.

This is a mate of mine, John Grant. You can let him in anytime.

He's all right.

- How's it going there, Jock? - Oh, not too bad, Jim.

- How's it with you? - Great.

Hey, Joe. Put a steak on for me mate, will you?

Yeah, lovely. Hey, Tim. One steak, mate.

- Oh, rare, please. - Yeah, all right.

How's the missus?

Oh, she was a bit crook last week. She all right now, Jock.

- And the kid? - Oh, this kid's gold.

You tell him to stop missing school or I'll have you.

All right, mate.

Come on, I'll show you inside while we're waiting.

All right.

Biggest two-up game in Australia, Jack.

Right on, fellas. I want 100 in the middle.

- The spinner's the bloke with the kip. - Kip?

Yeah, the bit of wood they put the pennies on.

He's just dropped $100 in the centre.

That's got to be covered before they can spin 'em.

Now it's been covered, they can all get in for a side bet.

- Heads, heads, heads... - Tails. Tails.

- Who wants to go on the heads? - Put 50 on heads.

You know, the little fella with the kip's a fella named Charlie Jones.

Comes in here every Friday night with his pay packet.

Bets are closing.

Clear a space.

Quiet! Hey!

Settle down, settle down. What do you think it is?

Fair go, chaps.

Heads!

Do you get the idea now, Jack?

Well, you just bet on whether the pennies come down heads or tails.

Yeah, that's right.

You think this crowd will be at each other's throats when they settle?

Ah, there's hardly a fight.

Each man knows what's coming to him, he just goes and gets it.

Heads, heads, heads...

Tails, tails, tails...

Sixty on tails...

Fair go.

Watch your feet now.

Watch yourself there.

Wait for it. Wait for it now.

Heads!

Four hundred, Charlie, what do you wanna do?

Put the lot on.

Yeah, Charlie always goes for 800 or bust.

You gotta throw four heads in a row to do it, too.

Come on now, hurry up. Get 'em on.

And what does he do with the winnings?

Well, nothing.

Simmer down, boys. Settle down.