Burlesque

Sixteen-fifty for you, 16.50 for me.

Loretta, I'm leaving.

What do you mean?

Soon as I get my check, I'm gone.

I'll be back.

- Dwight, I need my check. - Payday's at the end of the month.

Haven't paid us for last month. I need money, Loretta's got a kid--

Problem with management? Put a note in the suggestion box.

- I'm serious. I'm quitting. - I'll be back for the dinner shift.

I sure as hell won't be.

What are you doing?

I'm taking what he owes me, not a penny more.

You take that money, he's gonna come after you.

- Gotta find me first. - What you gonna do?

This ought to cover that bike for little Keith.

You're late to pick him up.

Go. I got everything covered here.

You're really going?

I'm really going.

That bike can wait till Christmas.

You keep what he owes you. I'll deal with Dwight, okay?

See you later.

How much to Los Angeles?

- One-way or round-trip? - You're kidding, right?

Hey, Coco. Coco Puff, you're on. Come on. You're on, you're on.

We may not have windows...

...but we do have the best view on Sunset Strip.

Twenty bucks.

What is this place, a strip club?

"Strip club"?

I should wash your mouth out with Jägermeister.

The only Pole you'll find in there is Natasha, the shot girl.

Babycakes, I got a club to fill here.

Right, sorry.

Enjoy.

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Add a little smoke

Welcome to Bur lesque

Everything you dream of

But never can possess

Nothing's what it seems

Welcome to Bur lesque

Everyone is buying

Put your money in my hand

If you got a little extra

Well, give it to the band

You may not be guilty

But you'r e ready to confess

Tell me what you need

Welcome to Bur lesque

You can dream of Coco

Do it at your risk

The tr iplets gr ant you mercy

But not your every wish

Jesse keeps you guessing

So cool and statuesque

"Behave your self," says Georgia

Welcome to Bur lesque

Everyone is buying

Put your money in my hand

If you want a little extr a

Well, you know where I am

Something very dark

Is playing with your mind

It's not the end of days

It's just the bump and grind

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Add a little smoke

Welcome to Bur lesque

- Can I get you a drink? - Only if you're buying.

- Welcome to L.A. - Thank you.

- Where you from? - lowa.

- Kentucky. We're practically related. - Thought you looked familiar.

Hey, sweetheart? You wanna do your job? Let's go.

Who does a girl have to flirt with to get from here to up there?

Is this you flirting?

With someone wearing more eyeliner than me? Yeah.

Through that door over there.

Ask for Tess.

- She's your guy. Flirt away. - Thanks.

- lowa. - Yeah?

Use my name.

Thanks, Jack.

Hold it! Hold it. That's good.

We're on in five minutes. Five minutes, ladies.

- Get over there. - All right, I'm coming.

Ladies! Let's move it, ladies!

Does anyone know where Nikki is?

Both spotlights are supposed to pull in.

Georgia, your boyfriend is so cute.

So tonight, takeout and a movie?

Both.

- Casablanca and Oreos. - Yes.

Tess! I lost a contact on the stage.

Okay, if you fall off the stage, leg extended, boobs up.

Remember, you're a goddess.

- Thank you, Sean. - You're welcome.

"Thank you, Sean."

Come here, give me.

- Wait. - What? The foot?

Yeah, the foot, the back, the neck.

The hips, the breasts, the face....

Vince, the sink's busted upstairs again.

I'm not calling a plumber, Coco.

Tess, have you read this letter from the bank?

How many times have I told you? No business during business hours.

- Marcus Gerber is coming in tonight. - So what?

This isn't going away.

You won't talk to me before the show, after the show.

It's like you're avoiding me.

I didn't divorce you to spend more time with you.

I may not be "Mr. Tess" anymore, but I still own half this place.

"Mr. Tess."

That is so hot.

Nice, but it won't pay the bills.

Wait. Wait. Zip me up.

Excuse me, I'm looking for Tess.

Hi, are you Tess?

And you are in my mirror because?

Oh, sorry. I'm friends with Jack, and I'm looking for a job.

And where have you danced?

At home, mostly. But I can move.

Okay, give your name and number to Sean.

Let you know when we're having our audition.

When will that be, exactly?

Sean?

- Where the hell is Nikki? - I don't know. She's late again.

Oh, I'm never late. Ever.

That's great.

We're trying to put on a show here. Come back another time.

I've never seen anything like this.

- I need a job. I wanna work here. - Great enthusiasm, terrible timing.

So leave your name and your number with Jack, your friend downstairs.

And we'll call you. Okay? Promise.

Hey, can you fix this for me?

Let's move it, ladies!

- Hello. - Oh, my God. Nikki.

You're probably not gonna believe this...

...but Sean and I were talking, and he said....

I said, "It's so sad that Nikki couldn't join us for the opening number...

...but it would be so great if she joined us for the next one."

Paws and claws. Took longer than I thought.

So is finding a new job when I fire you.

Yeah, right.

- Get ready. - Yeah.

Hey. Bring me a martini.

Extra dry, straight up, three olives.

- And hurry back. - She doesn't work here.

Then she's not busy.

Twenty minutes and we're back.

Your mama tell you it's not polite to stare?

You're just so damn beautiful, I--

Well, in that case, screw your mama and stare away.

No one would ever know.

Know what?

That you're a dude.

- God. - Can I use this?

Goddamn it! Don't touch my stuff!

Hey, waitress!

Sweetheart? Hey, over here.

One second.

Yo!

- Ladies? - I'll have a vodka.

What can I get you?

One shot of Patrón...

...and tough guy with the hat over there, he wants a Cosmo.

- What are you doing? - One night.

If I'm not better than boobs-for-brains, you don't have to pay me.

Isn't that the girl that was backstage?

I think so.

Hey, Jack, what's she doing here?

She really wanted a job.

And so she is our new waitress.

And when did I make you head of personnel?

She just picked up a tray, started working.

- Really? - Well, her name is Ali.

Ali.

Hey, Ali.

Look, this is cute, but come on.

Push up those boobs. Got them, show them. Work them.

And don't ever go behind my back again.

- Yes, ma'am. - And don't ever call me ma'am again.

- Yes, sir. I mean ma'am. I mean Tess. - Get on the floor.

"Ma'am"?

What am I, my mother?

Yes, ma'am.

Up yours.

Excuse me.

Dewar's rocks and a bottle of your best champagne.

Oh, and will you tell Nikki that I'm here?

And you are...?

A member since '91.

Marcus Gerber. And you are?

- Ali. - Ali.

I'm here.

You're late, you're late for a very important date.

Georgia went on for you.

What is that waitress doing here? I want that bitch out now.