The Roaring Twenties

Today, while the earth shakes beneath the heels of marching troops...

...while a great portion of the world trembles...

...before the threats of acquisitive, power-mad men...

...we of America have little time to remember...

...an astounding era in our own recent history...

...an era which will grow more and more incredible with each passing generation...

...until someday people will say it never could've happened at all.

April, 1918.

Almost a million American young men are engaged in a struggle...

...which they have been told will make the world safe for democracy.

- You always come into a rathole like that? - What do you want me to do, knock?

Cost me the last cigarette I had.

Well, can I offer you a nice Turkish prettiest? Number-nine cork tip.

Yeah.

Hey. Hey, where'd you get those?

A friend of mine in Mineola sends me a fresh batch every week.

Look at that.

Them cooties is getting desperate. They're feeding off tobacco.

How much can a cootie smoke?

Got a light?

There's 10,000 shell holes around here, and everybody's gotta come diving into this one.

No privacy in this war anymore.

Sorry. I didn't know anyone was in here.

Ought to put up a sign: "No hunting, shooting or trespassing."

There goes me prettiest number-nine cork tips. Where are they?

- What's the matter, kid? - Nothing.

You scared?

Yes, I am.

- No heart, huh? - I'm beginning to think so.

At least I haven't any heart for this.

I hoped this business would be over with before I got here.

- What are you, a college kid? - I just finished law school.

A lawyer, huh? Can you think of anything that can get us out of this hole?

He wouldn't if he could.

He's the type that cheers back home. When they get here...

- ...and things get tough, they fold. - Shut up.

- I'm talking to him. - And I'm talking to you.

I don't like heroes or bigmouths.

We're all scared. And why shouldn't we be?

What do you think we use in war, water pistols?

You're all right, kid.

I like guys who are honest with themselves. Stay that way.

Come on. Looks like it's quieted down.

Mailman, boys! Come and get it! Goodies from home!

- Rothmore. - Here, right here.

- Fletcher. - Here I am.

- Tilton. - Here.

- Aloysius Toohey. - Here.

Bartlett.

Right, buddy.

Here's mine. Here you are, big and good-looking. Try your luck on those.

- Thanks. - That's for you.

Yeah, that's all I've been getting.

Anything good, I'll split it with you.

Oh, now, look at that.

Thousands of dames writing us letters that are supposed to pep us up.

Get a load of that kisser.

Hey, somebody must've sent him some dough.

Hey, now, that's more like it.

- Very pretty. - Yeah.

A million guys in the Army, a babe like her has gotta pick out a mug like him.

- Who she ain't met. - When you write, ask if she has a friend.

Put in, "Having a wonderful time. Wish we was in Mineola."

What do you mean, "we"?

Bugle too vulgar for you guys? Maybe you need a harp to call you out.

Come on! Move out!

What's the matter? You hard of hearing?

I'm coming, I'm coming. Keep your shirt on.

When you get an order in the Army, buddy, you jump.

Like you did when you worked for my dad, and he caught you stealing nickels?

I ain't working for him. I ain't working for you.

Yeah, well, you might be.

I'm gonna give you a break.

I'll let you stand behind the bar with your medals on...

...and tell the drunks how you won the war.

Fall in!

- I said, fall in! - Where's the sergeant?

Come on. Shake it up! Shake it up!

Someday I'll catch that ape without those stripes on and kick his teeth out.

Fall in.

Come on, move along!

You must be quite a guy back home.

I do all right.

What is this armistice they've been talking about the past four days?

It's just another rumor. This brawl's gonna go on forever.

I ever get back, I'll have a swell law office in the Woolworth Building.

Have it all picked out on the 28th floor.

You can see the whole city, the bay, Brooklyn.

What do you wanna look at Brooklyn for?

- What are you going to do, George? - Just a minute.

That sucker jumped 3 feet in the air and come down stiff as a board.

Me? I'll still be in the saloon business.

Prohibition law goes in next year.

It's one thing to pass a law, another to make it work.

- There'll always be guys wanting to drink. - They'll enforce that law.

No, they haven't got a chance.

How about you, Eddie?

I'm gonna get my old job back in that garage.

Save my money, someday have a shop of my own.

It's my idea of heaven, boys.

A grease bucket, a wrench and a cracked cylinder.

You wanna make a living the hard way.

All I know is, I don't want any more trouble. I've had some.

What's the matter, Harvard? Lose the Heinie?

No, but he looks like a kid about 15 years old.

He won't be 16.

Hey, it's all over, boys, cease firing! The armistice has been signed!

Woolworth Building, here I come!

It's gonna be good to look into a motor again.

You know, I like this. I think I'll take it with me.

1919. The war is over, and the people of New York...

...are tiring of the constant triumphal procession of returning troops.

And still not all of them are back.

There is alarming news that women's skirts are going to become shorter...

...already they are 6 inches above the ankle.

Bobbed hair is introduced, but very timidly.

A young upstart named Jack Dempsey will meet Jess Willard...

...for the heavyweight championship of the world.

People are talking about the high cost of living. Everything is going up:

Food, rent, clothing, taxes.

The Prohibition amendment is ratified by the necessary 36 states...

...and becomes the law of the land.

People are dancing to the strains of "Dardanella."

Finally, late in the year...

...the last detachments of the American forces come back from policing the Rhine...

...almost forgotten by all but their relatives and friends.

It's Eddie Bartlett!

- You ain't dead? - If I am, they forgot to bury me.

Well, when you didn't come back with the others, we thought you was dead.

They kept me in Germany to straighten things out.

- Danny Green still live here? - Sure.

But if you're thinking of moving in again, the rent's higher than it used to be.

- Oh, yeah? How much? - Four dollars from each of you every week.

That's fair enough.

I won't have it anyway.

Here's your coffee, Danny.

Oh, thanks.

- Tired? - Yeah.

I drove some goofer all over Times Square...

Eddie!

- How are you? - Hello, Danny.

- I'm glad to see you. - Glad to see you.

- Well, I thought that... - Yeah, I know. You thought I was dead.

Yeah.

Gee, kid, I'm glad to see you.

Yeah, I... I thought you was bumped off.

Why didn't you tell me you was coming? I'd have went down to the boat to meet you.

Well, you could've wrote to me if you'd have tried hard.

- Who's gonna read it to you? - I got friends.

- Well, the same cheesy old joint, huh? - Yeah.

- You look healthy. - Oh, I feel fine now that the war's over.

Eddie, you never saw a sicker guy in your life the day I was...

When I got my number for the draft.

Flat feet, peepers all gone. I even had a touch of the palsy.

- No bad heart? - Well, I was working up to that.

- Same old Danny. How's hacking? - Oh, bad.

- Yeah? - Things ain't good in the taxi business.

Everybody's walking where they wanna go.

Hey, how's things in France?

Oh, I'm glad you reminded me. Brought you a souvenir.

You needn't have done that. I didn't expect anything. What is it?

German trench helmet. Hope it fits.

I had an awful time finding a Heinie with your head size.

Say, that's swell.

It just doesn't fit. It's a little too small.

I can send it to the cleaners and get it stretched.

- How do I look? - You're just the girl to wear it.

Oh, boy, I'm gonna give this to my kids. You know, if I ever have any.

Tell them how I captured it.

Charging the enemy!

I gotta hide this so no one will cop it. Where will I put it?

Here's the place.

She never sweeps under here.

Can you see it?

Oh, yeah.

You hungry, Eddie? Come on out, we'll eat.

I got a meal ticket. We'll shoot it full of holes.

- I'll make it look like a sieve. - Come on.

Wait, I gotta go over to the garage, get my old job back. Run me over?

Sure, in the cab.

Hey, Eddie.

Did you learn to parlez-vous?

Just enough.

- Hey, bud, where's Fletcher? - In the office.

Oh, thanks.

That guy thinks he'll get my job just because he's got a uniform on. He used to work here.

Those monkeys are gonna find out what a picnic they had...

...on Uncle Sam's dough while we worked.

- Hello, Mr. Fletcher. - Hi.

- When did you blow in? - Just now.

- Sure good to be back. - I'll bet.

- What are you gonna do? - Rest a few days, see the boys.

- Then I'll be ready to work. - Fine.

What are you gonna do? Where you gonna work?

What do you mean, "Where am I gonna work?"

- I was gonna come back here. - Sorry, Eddie. I haven't anything for you.

What?

Well, wait a minute. Maybe I'm in the wrong garage.

What was that line about my job always waiting for me?

Times have changed. That boy over there has been working almost two years.