Joe Somebody

Hey!

Hi! How are you?

Welcome to "Bring Your Daughter To Work Day" here at STARKe Pharmaceutical.

Very nice. Home movies and family photos.

That's... nice. It's novel.

Pat, this is just a first cut, of course. It's--

I was wondering how next month's Good Chemistry video is coming along.

- I can have it by Thursday. - Pagel wants a look by Wednesday.

- Gee, Wednesday would be-- - Perfect! Gotta run!

This might be a good time to talk about that promotion of mine.

Or those basketball tickets?

All right. We'll do it some other time.

Okay, then.

No.

Hey, let me give you a hand. Just hand me your staple gun.

- The... what? - The staple gun.

- It's right behind you. - Oh! Staple gun.

Thank you. You are really saving me here.

You're welcome. I love this whole "Choose Happiness" thing.

Yeah. It's based on the classic philosophical concept...

that happiness is a choice, not a condition.

Maybe they're getting it on a subliminal level.

It's Joe, isn't it? Joe... Scheffer.

- Yeah. - Meg Harper.

You did that great video for my department last summer.

I know--

It actually, um-- It made me cry.

Why? 'Cause it was so--

- Bad? - Not at all. Because it was so good!

Thanks.

- How have you been, Joe? - I got a divorce, actually.

Oh. Oh!

- I'm so sorry. - No, no. That's okay.

- You all right? - Yeah. You know, it's weird.

No, but I'm doin' great. I stay busy.

During the week, it's all about my daughter Natalie. She's 12.

On the weekends, schedule's totally whacked. I work out all the time.

- Me too! - I got concerts, plays.

I hike now. Got some Vibram sole boots.

I do a little trekkin'. I travel extensively.

- Sounds like you win. - I dance! Yeah.

Not professionally, mind you, but I do go to clubs with other-- others.

Geez, Joe, get off your ass and do something!

- I'm thinking about getting a pilot's license. - I was kidding.

Oh!

I'm not gonna take lessons. Not gonna fly. I was joking too.

Hey, I should buy you an almond-spiced latte.

It's the least I can do for helping me with this--

this whole-- with the banner.

I got this work to do. I should just finish my lunch.

I understand completely.

- Okay? - Okay.

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Daddy!

Hey, Nat!

Hi, Dad!

- Yea! - Oh! Mmm.

Did you have fun?

Weekend from hell.

They took me to another silly-ass hippie restaurant.

- With the most absurd one-man play ever produced. - "Silly-ass"?

- Dad! -Just find an alternative.

Geez.

Everything on the menu was made with curd.

Curd this, curd that. I ordered a hamburger,

and I got a ten-minute lecture on animal rights from the waitress.

And the guy in the play was half naked.

- What? Which half? - Dad!

Did you get the T'wolves tickets?

No, I didn't this time. The list for company tickets is real long.

- You know, I'm gonna get a promotion-- - Dad!

The best view is on TV anyway.

Rick's here.

Mah, mah, mah, hah-mah. Hah-mah, may, mee, mo, moo.

Hey! There he is. Hah-mah.

You become a farmer?

No, Joe, I'm an actor dressed as a farmer for an audition.

- Sorry. - Come on, Nat, let's go.

Hah, yah, yah, yah.

- Hey, Joe. - Hi, Callie.

We had a great weekend. Did she tell you about the play?

Yeah. The actors were naked.

- So were the ushers. - They were not!

Callie, Beauty and the Beast is in town. What's the matter with that?

We're just trying to expose Natalie to serious theater.

- Bye, sweetie. Here's for lunch today. - Ooh-ahh.

Thanks, Mom.

Oops.

I love your hair down. So sexy.

- Stop. Really? - So soft.

We should probably get going.

- Come on, Dad. - Bye, Joe.

- Bye. - See you next weekend, sweetie.

We're gonna see an authentic Indonesian dance troupe.

It's a dream come true, Mom.

Dad.

Why do I have to spend weekends with them?

Can't we just drive by every Saturday and wave?

Your mom's a little eccentric. Think of her as an exotic flower.

- And that made you what? Dirt? - Nat, she's your mom.

Let's get started on this "Take Your Daughter to Work"thing.

I'm supposed to interview you, and then write a report for school.

All right, let her rip.

Okay. Ah--

Did you always know you wanted to be a video communications specialist?

Actually, at first I wanted to be Batman.

But he had no powers. AndAquaman-- I don't like water.

So Spider-Man-- That's what I always wanted to be.

- Dad, this is supposed to be serious. - I really don't know what to say.

I have a really great job.

But to be honest, it's not the job I've always dreamt about having.

- I thought you wanted to be a writer. - You're the writer, okay?

I've read your play ten times. It's amazing! How come you only wrote one?

Writing was a dream I had when I was a kid. And then I grew up.

But dreams are important to hold on to! Come on!

You're gonna be a great writer. You have that special spark.

I knowthat, but that spark is gonna go out unless you write. Now write this.

Hey, watch it, ass... guy.

Nice save.

- You all right? - Yeah, I'm fine.

- What's his hurry? - He's just a lunatic.

- It's so crowded. - I think they manufacture people here.

Below, in the basement, they make people.

- Look, look. - Oh, wait, she's pulling out.

- Hey! That guy's an ass-wipe! - Natalie.

Sorry. I meant "ass-guy."

That's Mark McKinney.

He's a seven-year employee.

What's he doing in the ten-year lot?

Maybe he's gonna stand around for another three years.

No, he's not. I'll be right back.

- Excuse me. Mark? - Yeah?

Yeah, this is a ten-year lot.

And you're not a ten-year associate, are you?

- You're kiddin', right? - No.

No, this is actually the ten-year lot.

And this is the last space, and if I don't park here...

my daughter and I will have to come way over from the west lot.

- You actually brought your daughter to work? - Yeah.

I thought only the mothers were doin' that.

I'd just appreciate it if you'd park someplace else.

You know what I think, um--

- What's your name again? -Joe Scheffer. I work--

Joe, I think walking from the west lot...

is probably better than getting your ass kicked in front of your little girl.

Wait a minute! Are you like threatening to hit me?

Tell you what, Joe.

Uh-huh?

I'm gonna give you to five to get back in your car.

No. I'm not gonna-- No.

- No, this is the ten-year lot. - One.

- Two. - Do you have any idea of the crap I've been through--

- Daddy! - Stay in the car!

Turn around, and get back in your car.

- That's my space! - Daddy!

Daddy! Daddy!

- Leave him alone, dirtbag! - Don't call anyone a dirtbag.

- Daddy, you okay? You're bleeding. - I'm good. I just tripped.

I'm okay. Let's go.

I think maybe I'm just gonna take you to school.

You've reached the Scheffers.

Wait for the beep.

Dad, pick up.

Dad, it's been two days.

- Hey! - Dad?

Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm great. - You don't sound great.

Mom and Rick have friends over for yoga.

So I can sneak out and be home in no time.

No, Nat. Um, I got, um--

Friends from-- We got a bunch--

- We're gonna edit-- - Dad, just tell me something.

Is it you don't wanna see me? Or is it you don't want me to see you?

Yes, to the second one.

Dad, please just let me come over,

-just for a little while. - It's okay. Everything's all right.

I'm just sittin' here drowning my sorrows in a--

a quart of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey.

So, let's see.

Either you're lying or you've grown an ovary.

How old are you again?

Dad, I'm scared.

What are you scared of?

I'm not sure. I just miss you.

It's gonna be okay, Natalie, I promise. It's gonna be fine.

Okay. Your turn.

What are you scared of?

Disappearing, I think.

Disappearing, I think.

Hang on a second!

Hang on!