The Comic

In another time and another place,

in a world where time means nothing,

there is no light, just the black inner core of society,

where dark shadows, disease, filth and vermin live.

The only order is from people with power and money to afford it,

with a system which Springs from another person's misery.

Disease is not just of the body but of the mind.

In this world, people do not survive.

They only exist.

Throw him out.

Come on, come on. I want you on stage in two minutes.

I want you ready now.

Now!

What are you doing? You should be on. You should be on.

Go, go, go.

- What do you want, coex? - I want a spot here at the club.

How many times do I have to tell you?

We don't book acts without an agent.

- We've got a comedian, anyway. - But I'm better.

Joey Myers is the best.

Joey Myers is the best comedian on the stage.

Now, go away. Go!

Go!

Ladies and... gentlemen.

Tonight,

for your pleasure,

we have a very funny, funny young man.

Mr. Joey Myers.

We'll do a short spot.

What?

But enough chat from me.

Ladies and gentlemen, will you welcome

the excellent,

the amazing,

the most incredible new talent around,

Mr. Joey Myers!

Good evening, everybody. How are you? All right? Jolly good.

Ever so nice you could come. Good evening, madam.

I see you came on a motorbike. It's a new hairstyle?

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. You paid for it, obviously.

No, coex. No. How many times do I have to tell you? No!

- Quiet! - Stan, you tell him.

I told you before. I only need one comic and that's Joey Myers.

Mr. Clarke, put me on your books.

I'm sorry, Sam.

I won't let you down.

Look, I'm better. I am!

And then it took us two days to get the lid on the coffin.

I want some food and drink.

So, this 85-year-old man wants to marry this 16-year-old girl, see?

So his best friend comes up to him just before the wedding...

- Get off. - Thank you, sir.

- Go on, get off. - Now do that with your mouth.

His best friend comes up to him before the wedding

- and he says, "now, listen..." - Hey! Call yourself a comedian?

Hold on a minute, sir.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the moment every comedian prays for: A heckler.

I know what to do, I've read all the books, I've practiced in front of the mirror.

This is where my rapier-like wit comes in handy.

Are you ready? Watch this, madam. You'll learn something.

Fuck off. Anyway, where were we?

- 85-year-old man wanted to marry this... - Oi! Oi, comic.

That's not funny.

When they stuck teeth in your mouth, they ruined a perfectly good asshole.

And his friend says, "aren't you worried about too much sex being fatal?"

So he says, "if she dies, she dies."

Hello.

- You were good tonight. - Thanks.

Do you want a drink?

Yes.

Two scotches, please, Charlie.

What's the matter?

- Those curls. - Yeah?

They're funny.

- Funny ha-ha? - No.

They're terrible.

Well

- I bet Stan likes them. - I bet you a bottle of scotch he doesn't.

- You're on. - Ok.

It's a shame about that heckler.

Yeah.

I don't care.

Do you ever wonder how many turns you've done?

Yeah, must be millions.

Seems like forever.

Yeah.

You know, somehow time just doesn't seem to matter.

You don't have to worry about your looks.

- How old are you? - Old enough.

How's your side of this entertainment business?

Painful.

It's been a hard day.

It seems like everybody wants something special.

It would be nice to finish with a proper cuddle.

Yeah. Do you want another drink before we go?

- Why not? Make it a double. - We deserve it.

Two doubles, please, Charlie.

There are questions I must ask, answers I must know.

But are they answers that you need?

I need your help.

There was a time when my mind was blank,

a time when I cannot remember my childhood,

only darkness,

images of nightmares,

blood and screams.

I can give you these answers.

But do you think you will want to see them?

I must.

Close your eyes.

Think of the room moving around you.

I will kill him.

There will not be any mercy or pity.

He will die before my eyes.

Has there been a message from a Joey Myers for me?

- No, sir. - Thank you.

Well? Where is he?

I don't know.

What do you mean, you don't know? I'm supposed to be on stage now.

- He's never let me down before. - I don't wanna know.

I've got a show to put on. If Ellington finds out, I'm a dead man.

Give me a few minutes to find him, then.

I have to put him back on soon. Until then...

That means you've got ten minutes. Ten minutes, ok?

Ok, then, do that.

Ah, coex, have you seen Joey?

No.

- Have you seen Joey Myers? - No.

If George Ellington finds out I've got to give their money back,

he'll kill me. He'll kill me.

No, he won't.

Get out of here, coex.

Give me this break.

What have you got to lose?

If Myers doesn't appear, you're finished.

But if my act works,

everybody's happy.

Has Stan Clarke arrived yet?

No.

One chance, coex.

One chance.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I must say, I am surprised.

Especially when we've got a new act booked.

Yes.

Sadly...

Since Mr. Joey Myers proved less than favorable,

we at the monks club have gone to every expense

to bring you the entertainment.

The man who has been making a name for himself up and down the country,

the man who will be at the top of the bill from now on.

In short, the man.

Mr. Sam coex.

I can't find Myers anywhere.

- We had to put coex on. - He'll flop.

No, no, he hasn't.

- You mean he's on there now? - Yes.

Your boy let the club down.

I've got a contract with you.

No act, no contract.

You mean you put him on?

Yes.

Just like that.

Like Myers, only cheaper.

Thank you very much. You've been a wonderful audience.

I hope you've enjoyed the show as much as I have.

So, I'm just gonna say good night and hope to see you again soon.

Good night.

You'll not get away with this.

If you've got any complaints, you take them to George Ellington.

Can I help?

Why not?

I like your garden.

It's going to cost you 20.

Can I come in?

No.

But we must talk.

- What about? - Joey. He's disappeared.

- So, what's that got to do with me? - Nothing. I'm just looking for him.

Well, you know Myers, he won't talk to me.

I heard you'd had a bit of an argument.

No.

He said you were heckling him on stage

that night that you asked me to put you on my books.

Oh, that.

I was just drunk.

Ah. I just wanted to be sure.

If you see him, tell him I'm looking for him, will you?

Who is Joey Myers?

Nobody.

Myers?

Myers?

I'll be coming for you.

You will die before me.

A complete genocide of you and your heirs.

But then you will know that I,

yes, I...

Will control your every movement,

your thoughts,

and your destiny.

Come on, Fred, get off. You've had your moment.