Bawaal (बवाल)

Here are some evergreen songs for our evergreen listeners.

"How I spend my days..."

"Don't weep, my forlorn heart..."

"Calm down, for--"

"I've vowed to make you mi--"

"For your favours, for your generosity..."

And now, it's time for a peppy number.

Ajju Bro.

'A rare white pigeon amongst grey ones -'

'that's Ajju Bro for you.'

'A personality so magnetic,'

'he attracts attention wherever he goes.'

'He's a scene-stealer.'

'Ajju Bro is a celebrity for sure,'

'but what's his field of work, can you guess?'

'A high-ranking police officer?'

'No.'

'A district collector?'

'No.'

'An investment banker?'

'Uh-uh.'

'A news anchor?'

'A youth leader?'

'An upcoming actor?'

'So what does he actually do?'

'He is a high school teacher.'

Sir!

Sir, I'll park it in shade and put it on the main stand.

'So you might ask, how does a teacher manage to command such respect?

- 'I'll tell you how.' - Good morning, sir.

'Ajju Bro sowed the seed of lies across the pious land of Lucknow,'

'and managed to grow a big image for himself.'

You know Ajju sir almost got into NASA,

if not for that cursed tempo driver who hit him

and broke his tailbone?

So how is he still working?

Through sheer willpower.

- You know Ajay sir almost became a collector? - Then?

While writing appearing for the exam it struck him -

If he becomes a collector,

Lucknow will have just one collector.

But if he becomes a teacher,

he can give Lucknow 100 collectors.

- Then? - Then what!

He tore his answer sheet and left the hall.

Right turn!

One... two, three, one!

You know sir almost became an army officer?

Then?

He got a throat infection on the day of the interview.

He ran fast,

but couldn't say anything.

You gotta agree,

he's got a great physique!

I agree.

If you want to pump your arms,

work on your triceps, instead of your biceps.

The biceps has one muscle,

this one,

whereas the triceps has three,

this one, this one, and this one.

'There is no place he doesn't like to share his knowledge.'

Touch it. Hard as stone.

Riding your bike sans undies

will blow up your joints.

Daily use of gel will make your hair go dry, like a broom.

There's a special powder... that I use.

Grace is surely important when it comes to dancing,

but the face

is very-very-very important.

Yes, sir.

'And the place where he should actually be imparting knowledge,'

'is the place where he goes only to kill time.'

The Second World War took place between 1939 and 1945.

The majority of the countries participated in it,

including all the superpowers.

Not fair, Papon!

You took Hardik and asked me to take Krunal.

I asked you to go for Pandya, sir.

You choose the wrong one.

I chose wrong, right!

- You keep reading. - Yes, sir.

- You keep a watch. - Yes, sir.

And you keep wri--

Keep writing, my boy.

Does Dhoni really have 16 bikes?

Uh-uh, 18!

Sir, why didn't you become a cricketer?

Tennis elbow.

- It's still a little stiff-- - 'Everyone thinks that Ajju Bro is great.'

'There are only a few who know that he is--'

He's a fake, sir.

Not again, Mr. Pandey.

Sir, I want to end this drama, once and for all.

This man is not a history teacher,

he is a mystery teacher.

He doesn't know what he is teaching.

And you know everything?

Yes, I do.

If you don't believe me,

then come with me and see it for yourself.

He's coming!

Go! Go! Back to your seats!

Go, go...

During the Second World War, Hitler had...

Hitler had...?

Shobit!

Hitler had...

done what?

He invaded Poland first, sir.

Very good.

Oh sir, you?!

Good.

Sit down.

Did you need me?

No.

You continue.

Mr. Pandey,

I hope you understood the theorem I explained yesterday.

Which theorem?

How can you forget so soon?

No problem, I'll sit with you after school.

I love to stay back after school.

I can spare some time for you too.

Learn something from him, Mr. Pandey.

He is lying, sir.

He didn't teach me any theorem.

Just let it be.

You love to make up stories.

'Everyone was totally impressed by Ajju Bro,'

'but he is totally depressed by himself.'

Bro, you remember Vineet Shajapurkar?

Vineet Shajapurkar?

You'd poured glue down his undies.

- His family jewels got stuck together. - Right!

What happened? He's kicked the bucket?

No, bro.

He's a big shot now.

Works for a pharma company.

I don't remember his title,

but he's second from the top.

What happened?

I would've been on the top, you know

if only my father had paid the donation.

What am I doing now?

A meaningless job in a worthless school.

Those who used to be behind me are now racing ahead.

Prateek Richchariya drives a Honda City,

whereas I drive a Bullet.

Ratan Ghanghoriya

has 10 dumpers on the road.

Makes 20,000 a day!

Drop one.

Ricky Lamba married Miss Kanpur.

And my marriage... bloody got misfired.

What are you saying?

- The truth. - That's not true.

You know everyone in Lucknow looks up to you.

They look up to me

because of the image I've maintained.

People only see what I show them.

The day they see the truth...

no one will bother to give me a second glance.

You and your negativity.

Bro, negative thoughts manifest negative things.

Your dad's calling. Answer it.

You want to talk to him?

- I'm just telling you. - Let it ring.

No issues, let it ring.

Your job should make

you want to go to work.

And your home should make

you want to go rushing back to it.

In my case, none of them don't fit the bill.

Oh, Ajju...

- you're home! - No, I'm still on the streets.

You'll soon be on the streets, sonny boy.

You see, the way you're going...

I see it every day.

Then see this as well.

Your credit card bill.

I'll settle it.

- He's finally home. - No, he's still on the streets.

Should I serve dinner?

He's downed a few drinks.

I'm sure he must have eaten...

What, Chicken Lollipop?

You should tell me in advance.

The street dogs are going fat eating your share of food.

- Mummy... - Also tell us who is going to pay this bill,

because I won't give you a single penny for it.

I don't expect you to.

- What did you say? - I don't expect you to.

Hey... don't puke in the sink. Go puke in the pot.

I'm not puking.

I'm just washing my face.

I have control, Mummy.

You have no control.

The delivery guys ring the bell every two hours with a parcel in hand.

Shoes.