Preacher

Your guy can get us in?

Good.

Feels like the end, almost.

I guess we all gotta die sometime.

Yeah.

That's a lot of beers.

I like beer, Cass.

Patrick and Murphy...

they were out fishing at sea...

and the engine on the boat dies.

So Murphy just says, "Look, we're just gonna have to sit here and wait for help."

So for two full days, they're lost at sea.

And they see this little bottle.

It was just bobbing around in the waves.

So, Patrick, he scoops it up and he opens it.

And out pops a genie.

And he grants them one wish.

And Patrick says, "All right. Turn the whole sea into Guinness."

Just like that, the whole sea goes black with Guinness.

Murphy says to Patrick, "What in the hell did you do that for?"

Now I'm gonna have to piss in the boat."

"Piss in the boat." Mmm.

I like that.

We haven't done that in a while.

What?

I love you.

Till the end of the world?

Till the end of the world.

- I was having a laugh. - Why...?

Why would I be joking about a groin pull? There's nothing funny about it.

- So I turn to him. - Shut your hole, birdman. Christ.

Yeah, you're a sly one, aren't you?

Well...

if it isn't Nurse Ratched, come to bring us our lithium.

Movie references.

Nice one, friend. Nice one.

Shut your mouth and put the wings away, or we saw them off.

Come on.

So...

where's my favorite traitor, Agent Hoover?

I owe him a bit of a beatdown, actually.

Herr Starr set him on fire.

Right.

No need for that, then.

Shackle him.

I really love what Lord Frankenstein's done with the place.

Really letting the dark and dank run wild, isn't he?

This is Masada,

the Grail's command center for over 2000 years

and home to the Child Messiah.

Jesus.

Attention, all Grail personnel...

I tell you what.

Get me a latte, I'll tell me friends to take it easy on you when they get here.

No, thanks.

Padre got his powers back.

Sooner or later, he and Tulip, they're gonna come get me.

- You think so? - I know so.

Good.

Otherwise, why the hell would we need you?

Let's go.

You're gonna be late for class.

Attention, all Grail personnel, in the event of an emergency, first help Messiahs

and Grail leadership before you help yourself.

What was that?

The Lee-Enfield rifle.

Named after its designer, James Paris Lee.

You hear that? That click-clunk?

That's the sound of a.303 sliding into place, ready to fly.

You wanna torture someone?

First things first.

You gotta earn their respect.

Let me tell you something.

There's few things more respectable...

than the Enfield.

- Knock it off. - That's enough.

Come on, be quiet. Knock it off.

Listen.

Hi.

Sorry to interrupt your little sing-along.

Your dick of a boss kidnapped our friend and we want him back.

Who wants to help us break into Masada and get him out?

Freeze.

And I thought they'd be into it.

It's very surprising.

You sure about this?

A bunch of fascist assholes?

Singing their fascist songs.

Hell, yeah, I'm sure.

Do it.

She's the boss.

You work for her.

She's the boss.

We work for her.

All right, bitches.

Let's go.

He's moved on.

Cool.

Moved?

Where?

No matter.

He can't hide.

Kidney.

Knee.

Last but not least...

liver.

Goddamn it.

I gotta drink with that.

Now, at this point, your typical vic is bleeding out and fading fast.

There's only so many body parts a person can lose. Know what I'm saying?

But our subject here is special.

Whatever he loses...

he grows back.

That being said, bullets is easy.

Bullets is basic.

You wanna produce a deeper kind of hurt,

you gotta go old-school.

When it comes...

to the application of pain...

you gotta go Bensonhurst.

Fredo.

- Frankie. - Oh, Fredo, come here a sec.

Let me have a word with you. Come here. Listen to me.

I've been getting tortured since before your ma had a bloody mustache.

You know what I mean?

There's nothing you could do to me that hasn't been done a hundred times already. Honestly.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Nothing?

Frankie's working on the vampire, sir.

Any sign of Custer?

He's here.

Let him in.

Happy you could join us, Custer.

You'll see I've taken precautions.

I see you've got an old lady.

A deaf and dumb old lady, in case you get any ideas.

The only ideas I have is to get Cassidy out of here.

Where is he?

He's resting peacefully.

You're mad at me.

Not him.

Because of the old...

I'm sorry we haven't exactly brought the best out in each other.

Well, I wanna put that behind us, so...

I got you a little something.

Hand over Cassidy and you can wear hats again.

Take off your headphones, let me use the Word...

make it right.

Nice try, Custer.

But I had a different idea when I took your friend and lured you here.

- Don't you want to know? - What is your very different idea, Klaus?

You're here, Jesse Custer...

to have a giant vagina carved into your head.

I see.

That's how you wanna play it.

Take me to Cassidy.

The door's the key.

You're absolutely right, boss. It's the only way in and out.

- We need that door open and kept open. - Great plan, boss.

Yeah, we got a good feeling here.

Cass?

Cass?

Took you long enough, wanker.

Jesus.

What happened?

Son of a bitch.

He's been circumcising me over and over, like.

- Are you laughing at me? - No.

Who did this to you?

Who's asking, asshole?

I am.

Let's fight.

Come here, you meatball!

Stop that!

Room service.

I had this, you know?

- What? - I had it.

I was probing for weaknesses and biding my time, like, you know?

- You were biding for a lot of it. - You see? There you're laughing at me.

No, I'm not. Come on, Tulip's waiting.

- What? - You wanna do your vampire thing?

- Do I...? Do I wanna do my vampire thing? - You know.

Rip his head off or something. Suck his blood?

I'm good.

Thanks.