The Coca-Cola Kid

G'day, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Australia.

As you know,

Australia is an island which has been isolated

from many dangerous animal and plant diseases.

The cabin area is now being sprayed

by quarantine officers.

This is an essential precaution against the insects

which might otherwise introduce

human or agricultural diseases into Australia.

Please ensure that you remain seated

until the spraying is completed.

If you experience discomfort from aerosol sprays,

we suggest you place a handkerchief

over your nose and mouth.

Thank you for your attention.

A gentleman to see you.

Uh, Frank Hunter?

Becker.

Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

Who from where?

Becker.

Atlanta, Georgia.

Straight from the airport.

Just dropped my cargo bag and stuff off at a hotel

and came right here.

This is beautiful.

I'm pleased to meet you, Becker.

What can I do for you?

I was to report to you today, wasn't I?

- Telex just arrived. - Uh, thank you.

Excuse me.

Sit down, please.

Ah, yes.

It's all here.

You beat your assignment papers.

I like a man who arrives before his print-out.

I just never understand

why these telexes always arrive damp.

Well, Becker, they call you,

for my eyes only,

"a brilliant trouble-shooter."

That's about right.

My only problem is I'm not aware

that we're in any kind of trouble.

Well, that's why I'm here.

I'm sorry.

I guess everybody has trouble.

We have a month.

What for?

To get a job done.

To find firstly, where the trouble is,

secondly, why it is,

thirdly, devise a strategy,

and four, act.

It sounds simple.

It is.

You'll see.

Can I offer you something, coffee, tea?

Yes, please.

Well, which would you like?

Coffee or tea?

Yeah, that's fine with me, coffee or tea.

Thanks.

How are you, little guy?

Okay, little guy.

Sssaah!

Sssaah!

Sssaah sssaah sssaah sssaah!

Whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo!

Whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo!

Sssaah sssaah sssaah sssaah sssaah!

Hai eee,

Hoooh!

Shee!

Boi shee!

Whoo, whooo, whooo, whoo!

Your breakfast, sir.

Welcome to Australia.

Everybody's happy to see you here, sir.

I won't say who or why, according to instructions.

Take care of your jet lag, sir,

and have a very, very nice day.

What the hell was that?

I took about six hours straight through.

Buy your Australian here! Get your Australian here!

What d'you wanna, what d'you wanna buy?

What are you reading? Get your Australian here!

Get your Tatts lotto weekly numbers!

Uh, excuse me, sir,

do you, uh, sell American newspapers here?

American newspapers?

This is Australia, mate.

We sell Australian papers, hmm.

Well, that would be appropriate, yes.

Right on.

Take it or leave it.

I'll leave it. Thanks.

- G'day, Mr. Becker. - Hello.

Have a nice day.

Mr. Hunter told me

I'll be working as your secretary while you're here.

Well, that's just fine.

It's almost nine o'clock.

I'll see you at the office.

Oh, right.

See you.

- Frank, can we talk now? - Come in, Fred.

Shut the door.

Frank, what's going on?

Our advice from headquarters

is "Listen to him.

Don't get angry.

Don't get scared, either.

And do not be surprised."

How am I supposed not to get surprised

when he walks into my office

and asks can he borrow a Bible?

They call him "whiz kid."

They advise don't try to understand him.

They don't.

They just know he doubles and triples sales in no time.

He asked me if I'd ever heard anything

I'd call an Australian sound.

Hmm.

Did you?

And you should know, Coca-Cola is sold

in 155 nations across the world,

and it is the same drink everywhere.

We have more markets than the United Nations.

Well-

Every day, 260 million people

pause for that moment of refreshment,

that unparalleled moment, underline unparalleled.

Whoops.

Well, if you don't want to understand

what my point is.

Okay, what's your point?

If men and women are gonna work together,

something might happen.

I don't want to hear that.

Let there be no misunderstanding.

Our policies and strategies

will be dictated by the needs and desires

of the consuming public.

"Needs and desires,"

Needs and desires of what?

Maybe you're just not interested in women.

Do you hear that sound?

It's a very specific sound.

Get your truth here.

Get your truth here.

Words on every page.

Girls and news.

Girls and news.

Cartoons and girls.

Cartoons, girls, and news.

Excuse me, sir.

I would love to have your picture,

click, click click, click,

and your sound.

You're going to use me in the movies?

Yes!

Movie.

My phone number.

If I'm not here,

the fellows know where to find me.

Ring me agent.

Mr. Joe.

Yeah. - Thank you very much.

You may be asking yourselves,

"What is an ex-marine doing on this side of the globe?"

Well, as you may or may not know,

marines fall on every continent on the face of the earth

except Australia, so here I am.

First, we have to ask ourselves

do we need to explain our product to the public?

Last year in Rome,

I had a chance to talk with one of the top guys

in the Jesuit hierarchy, and he told me,

he said they consider us,

excuse me, miss, your feet belong on the floor,

they consider us, in bringing God's business

of good will and good news to the people,

no less than second to themselves

in this whole wide God-fearing world.

Yes.

They see us as the smart guys

who distribute and sell the miracle of America.

And that's exactly what we are.

When you have a product with charisma,

you don't have to explain a goddamn thing, no.

Here you go, honey.

You need only bring it to the people.

Good catch.

Try to analyze it,

and you'll end up

with, uh, "dark color, cold, wet, and bubbly."

Come on.

That is no way to explain