Preacher

Do you think we should tell him?

No. Okay.

He'll understand.

After everything he's been through, you know?

Mum's the word.

Here he is. Captain Morgan.

Okay, so, we slept together.

Not his fault, not mine.

You were gone, so we can't feel bad about it.

So you can lose your shit if you want

and Word us into toads.

But just do it now and get it over with.

Thanks for telling me.

You're welcome.

Turn you into what?

Toads.

We understand if you hate us.

No.

I love you both very much.

No matter what.

Is that it?

Anything else?

Well... we're gonna go and get Humperdoo,

destroy the Grail, and maybe save the world

from a fiery apocalypse.

- Huh. - Only if you're up for it.

Humperdoo.

Where is he?

Hey!

Bless me, Messiah.

Ah!

Aah!

Ohh!

Pink banana!

Ah.

My child.

Would you?

No, I-I-I meant...

Oh, you wa...

Sure. Yeah, get in there.

And the ballerina is out.

Haka dancers in 10.

Get ready!

Cue the mimes. Cue the mimes.

Where are my mimes?

Hi, kid.

Let's go!

Now you don't show?

Come on!

This may be a bit weird, but, uh, all things considered,

and I don't wanna jinx it...

but I got a really good feeling about where things are headed.

You know?

So, we good?

One good thing about going to Hell and back, Cass...

You get perspective.

No, she was right. I was gone.

But now I'm back.

Just to be clear:

when you guys say "get Humperdoo", you mean...

Rescue. Hump never hurt a fly.

This is a rescue mission.

- Ow! - Nissa. Mr. Cassidy.

So sorry. Pardon the mess.

That's our ride?

Oh, you ready?

Uh-oh.

Sounds like Tony's "bacon" us crazy again.

Oh!

Aah!

Man, these morning shows.

I tried to tell you!

The whole planet's gone off the rails!

- Anything for ratings. - Nobody would list...

What the...

What is this?

- Whoo! - We love you!

Starr.

Yay!

- Whoo! - We love you, Allfather!

Today is the day, ladies and gentlemen,

believers, and apostates.

We love you!

Today's the day, at long last,

when this grotesque and orderless world comes to an end.

Praise you!

Praise you, Allfather!

For those of you watching at home, here's how it goes.

First: a few opening acts...

singers, jugglers,

ethnic musicians, a female comedian,

and then, when the clock hits zero...

...the Messiah will dance!

And so signal the Apocalypse.

Clamor, chaos, fire from above,

et cetera and et cetera.

The righteous will be spared, of course.

But the sinners...

that's right, the sinners...

the feminists...

degenerates...

and desperados...

today's the day they... get... theirs!

My son?

Be careful with our child.

I see everything.

Understand?

I know everything.

But Abel.

He just wouldn't believe me, poor schmuck.

He'd keep saying to me, "No, no,

Cain's not just my big brother, he's my best friend".

Are you kidding me?!

Sorry to disturb you, sir, but...

Hey, Dad.

Hello, Jesus.

Hey, I, uh...

You know, I know today's a big day for you,

so I, uh, just wanted to wish you good luck.

Um, both of you.

Okay.

Okay.

Thank you, Jesus.

Anything else?

Um, like you say, it's a... it's a busy day,

and, uh, he needs to focus, so...

Yeah, of course.

Uh, of course.

Ach, n-nein!

I believe in you! Schnell!

Uh, Dad.

Just one more thing.

Huh!

Good.

So, anyway. Cain and Abel...

Ow! Ow! Aah!

Oh, hush now! That didn't hurt.

Wha...

That did.

Ohh, I know.

I know.

Scary.

But we don't want anyone hurting you.

Yeah.

Where's Cass?

Cass?!

Over here.

Check this out.

Remember, this is not a rescue mission.

No matter what he says.

You know what needs to be done, right?

Where is everybody?

Up there.

Alright, let's go.

Oh, not again.

Cass?!

Cass!

Attention, all murderers.

Please don't murder in jail.

Thanks for meeting with me, Father.

I hear they're letting you out.

Yeah.

Yeah, for some reason they thought I ate Preacher Custer.

But... they couldn't find him in my poop, so...

So what do you want?

I'm just...

I'm just hoping to figure out...

what is next.

You know, like what...

What am I supposed to do? What's God's plan?

I've been wondering the same thing.

What's His plan for someone like you?

Comic relief?

Cautionary tale?

Appetite suppressant?

What about rock star?

Or maybe He just doesn't wanna think about it anymore.

A mistakes-were-made-best- forgotten-kinda thing.

Or maybe, in the end,

when it comes to someone like you?

There is no plan.

Yeah.

Rock star.

Cass!

Cassidy?

What do you want to do?

Forget him.

Picture a mountain.

A mile wide and soaring high,

made entirely of pure flaked Peruvian heroin.

Picture the girl.

Tulip.

All to yourself.

Picture Ireland.