The Internship

(SINGING) An old man...

...turned ninety-eight

Won the lottery and died the next day

Why is this shit on the get-psyched mix?

If I don't throw you a curveball, you get

bored and the mix loses its intended effect.

I want to get revved up and this song isn't doing it.

I defy you to crush this chorus and not get psyched.

Won't happen.

Don't you think?

It's like rain...

...on your wedding day

A free ride...

...when you've already paid

It's good advice...

Help me out here!

...that you just didn't take

And who would have thought?

It figures

Mr. Play It Safe...

Classic Alanis.

...was afraid to fly

He was afraid.

Bring it home. Oh, yeah.

Go home, Papi. Yes!

We got our jam on now. Jump to it!

It was a dry June.

It needn't be said out loud, but we need this sale.

I'm so confident we'll close this,

I'm ordering the Pappy Van Winkle.

It's pricey, but I want to spiritually invest in our success.

If you didn't order the Pappy, I'd send you back to the car...

...to listen to the get-psyched mix again!

Go over the stat sheet.

Bob Williams. Married 16 years. Wife Karen. One daughter.

That's page one. Let me hip you to page two.

Daughter's name is Skyler. Big into

gymnastics. Aces on the pommel horse.

He don't just tell it, he shows it with pictures.

Everyone's searching for something, right, Bob?

Love. Success.

But what's the one thing no one can get more of?

Time.

And you can't fight it.

Oh, you don't have to tell me. Look at my little girl.

How old is Skyler now? Just turned nine.

Nine?! Skyler's nine?!

Good Lord. How old does that make all of us? Don't answer that, Bob!

I was about to answer.

Soon she'll be borrowing Karen's makeup and

you'll have two beauties on your hands!

Lock the door. It's coming. Double digits.

Skyler still giving them hell on the pommel horse?

Want to see a photo? If it's not too much trouble.

Let me show you Sky.

Look at her.

She's really sprouted.

Yeah, Skyler's really slimming down.

I'll tell you what, she's eating really healthy.

Mostly fruits and nuts. Her choice.

No telling what this girl on a squirrel diet could end up doing.

Win us the gold, make us proud?

Damn right she could. I think she's already made you proud.

Guilty, my friend.

Oh, guys, it goes so fast.

Like a freight train on the track, clickety-clack.

Now she's got a boyfriend-- a guy you'll like, hopefully.

Clickety-clack, she's married.

Clickety-clack, she's putting you in a home!

She would do it, too. She would.

Only when you forget who she is. I'm kidding!

It feels good to laugh about Alzheimer's.

You can't control time.

But you can manage it.

Mmm. Bob...

...the Chronoshock Aught Thirteen.

Carpe diem. These babies will fly off your shelf.

I know you have six stores now, so you'll

probably want a larger order than last year's.

You're kidding, right?

Your business has been folded.

I'm sorry?

No, there's been some chatter. The last few years have been rough.

But who hasn't felt the pinch?

They didn't tell you, did they?

I thought you guys wanted to grab dinner for old times' sake.

Your company is closed. I hate to be the one telling you that.

I know that I can't buy the watches because...

...your company doesn't exist anymore, but I wish I could!

That's how good you guys are!

One round of Pappy Van Winkle. Enjoy, gentlemen.

Oh.

Wow. That is expensive stuff.

You know, Bob, uh...

... do you mind--

Say no more. I'm doing this.

Let's slice the pie three ways.

That's silly. I'm doing really, really...

... really well right now and you guys are not... at all.

Let me do this.

Let's just split it. Go Dutch.

Okay.

Let's be three Dutchmen. But this Dutchman's going to pay

when he can in a couple weeks.

What the fuck, Sammy?

What the fuck me? What the fuck you!

Who told you you could barge into my office

without an appointment?

You closed the company?!

Then you send us out on a sale we really needed and had

Bob Williams drop that bomb on us?!

Bob Williams' got a big fucking mouth.

Yeah, he does.

Forget the sale. Nobody wears a watch anymore--

They check their phones.

Disagree. Cite your source.

Kids, maybe. There's a broader market.

Lorraine, what time is it?

10:26.

One hip pioneering secretary does not a cultural trend make.

She's 75. Watches are obsolete, and so are you two.

Obsolete? What does that mean?

It means everything's computerized now!

It's cheaper for a machine to tell companies

what to order than a manufacturer's rep.

No, people have a deep mistrust of machines.

Have you seen "Terminator"?

Or "Two"? Or "Three"? Or "Four"?

Yep. Mmm-hmm. All of them.

People want to deal with people, not Terminators.

People hate people! Times have changed.

That's so negative.

Luckily I saw this coming, cashed out, bought a condo in Miami...

... new tits for the wife. Silicone. It's legal again.

Saline's out?

Me and the old lady will be tucked away nice.

Great for you, huh? Perfect.

So that's it, right?

But what about us, Sammy?

You two were great salesmen. The best!

But at the end of the day, you're grinders.

Foot soldiers. You'll never be generals.

I'm going to say something harsh now.

Now you're going to say something harsh?

Strap it in, 'cause it ain't pretty out there.

And you two are dinosaurs.

Face it. Where you're going...

...you've already been.

Thank you for your service.

What are we going to do?

I don't know.

But I have to worry about the now.

I don't know what I'm going to say to Megan.

It's like rain...

No. Let it play.

For the love of God, let it play.

It's a free ride when you've already paid

Go.

Megan, let's talk about this.

Is it because I'm too unselfish in bed? I can change.

It won't be easy, but I'll do it.

It's always darkest before the dawn.

No, Billy. It's actually darkest in the middle of the night.

Enough's going on without arguing about proverbs.

I knew things weren't great, but to come home to a foreclosure sign?

Can we hug? Can I touch it? No!

I could have avoided this if the Bob Williams deal hadn't gone bad.

You blew that?

Not so much that I blew it as the company shut down

and took our jobs away.

Sweetheart, I promise I can pay for all of this.

It's not about the money, Billy. This is about you.

You talk a big game, but never do anything about it!

You say we'll go to Spain-- but have I ever been to Barcelona?

Barthelona! And not yet, but we're going.

What?

We are not going to Barthelona.

We discussed going to Barthelona...

...but we are never going to go to Barthelona.

Not with that attitude we're not.

Do you even hear yourself? Yes.

I'm glad you said some of that-- we're in a relationship and

I'm glad we're committed to it.

You know how badly I want to believe that?

Because I've been with you a long time and nothing ever gets better.

Honey, you're...

You're such a great guy...

...but you always screw things up and let people down.

Billy, I love you, but I'm tired of being let down.

That's terrible, Nicky. Are you okay?

I should have gone on my own when I had the chance. Stupid!

You did the right thing. Got a paycheck, played it smart.

Dad would have been proud.

Proud of what? I didn't play it smart. I played it safe.

Look where I am now. Proud?

At your nephew's Little League game. Cheer up!

Come on.

All right, Tate!

Here we go, Tate! Put some wood on it!

He's a great kid.