Twisted Metal

When I first came to America,

I found a land of opportunity

where your greatest wish could come true

if only you were willing to fight for it.

So what do you wish for?

Danger?

Speed?

Brutality? Freedom?

What if I said you can have all that and more

wi Twisted Metal?

Twisted Metal is a 22 episode reality TV competition

sending 16 combatants

into a high stakes demolition derby.

The only rule? Survive.

Okay.

From the Middle Ages to March Madness,

tournaments have enthralled the masses.

But we are spicing things up

with cars, guns, and celebrities.

Wait, you got Wesley?

Well, no, that's just an example.

But-but Carson is very into the concept.

Yeah. In future seasons,

we'll go national, global.

The world will be a battleground.

Just imagine Hong Kong, Paris,

cars driving up the Eiffel Tower.

I don't mean to interrupt your pitch, Mr. Sparks,

but, um, this seems very expensive.

I mean, the cars alone.

Which is why we will require drivers

to bring their own vehicles.

Picture it.

Jay Leno facing off against Jerry Seinfeld

as they drive classic cars

from their own personal collections.

Yeah, no one's doing that.

And what exactly are they fighting for?

I mean, these are people who have everything.

That's a great question. Just let me skip ahead.

The winner of my tournament

will get their greatest wish granted.

Hmm, okay.

What if they want a billion dollars?

We can't shoulder that cost.

Well, you wouldn't have to.

I mean, you know what they say.

Be careful what you wish for.

So no one wins?

I'm not really sure how that will play

- in primetime. - Yeah.

Right. Ah.

Do you know why you can't look away from a car accident?

Instinct.

It triggers something in your brain.

You have no choice but to look,

to question your own mortality.

That is what we will put on screen.

America won't look away.

And if you own the eyes of America,

then you own the world.

NBC already owns the eyes of America.

It's called Friends.

Well, uh, thanks for coming in.

We have something new called BattleBots,

which is very similar to your idea.

So, right now we're a... we're a pass.

- Pass? - Pass.

Pass.

I want my five minutes back.

Very well.

Shortsighted fools.

BattleBots?

Well, if the world isn't ready, then...

Well, then I'll just wait until it is.

- Quiet! - May!

- Quiet! - Oh, I'm sorry!

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I knew about the Minion thing, and I should've told you,

but I didn't, and I just...

oh, God, it's all my fault.

None of that shit matters now.

You got me?

Yeah, but-but... but John, I mean,

what do we do?

We keep fighting.

Pop the hood and get behind the wheel.

Oh, fuck yeah!

All right, John.

If you're still in there,

this is gonna suck.

Clear!

Come on, wake up!

Jell-O!

John?

Quiet? Did we win?

All right, he's set!

Whoa, a bomb?

Yeah. It was a massacre.

I don't feel so bad about losing,

knowing the tournament got cut short.

No, uh, someone did win.

- Stu. - Stu?

Are you fucking...

Now I feel worse.

Hey, look, I hate to cut this reunion short,

but seeing as we don't have unlimited gas,

it'd be really great if someone told me where I was driving.

I don't know. The Dolls could be anywhere by now.

Just head north.

Finally, a map I can read.

Now the real game begins.

Well, well, well,

if it isn't my champion.

Congratulations, Stu.

Give me my wish.

And what a wish it is, a real whopper.

Are you sure you want it?

Because there's no going back.

Buckle me up, Stu.

Oh, man, what a fantastic toilet.

Hey, where'd that door come from?

Wow, what service!

I wish to go somewhere safe,

away from all this,

just me and Mike.

Give me my fucking wish.

Thank you for playing Twisted Metal.

What?

No. No!

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

We're here.

You coming?

You want to go in first?

No. You do the honors.

Door's a little sticky.

Oh. I'm sorry. This is...

This is your house. You go first.

Jeez, was your grandpa Davy Crockett?

No fucking way!

Oh!

Ha! Suck it, losers.

This bed is mine!

Oh, holy shit.

This is the life.

Did that chair just turn on?

There's power. How?

There must be a genny somewhere.

"So-lar energy."

Sounds like gas from the future.

Cool.

Well, aren't you full of surprises?

Hey, John.

I hope you like your chicken soup chunky.

John?

You calling dibs on this room?

No need to.

It was mine.

No way.

It's a lot.

Yeah.

I never missed somebody like this.

Like a big black hole.

It sucks.

I think that's why I needed to win the tournament.

Not just for the outsiders, but...

But for her.

Then I fucked it all up.

No, you didn't.

Yeah, I did.

We lost. I lost.

You were just trying to make things better.

Maybe in this world, that's just not possible.

So...

It's time we did something...

for us.

It's our turn.

We can make our own life here.

No more cars?

And no more violence?

Just us.

So not just us.

You guys, I found a...

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

- By... - By...

- The. - The-the-the-

the fire.

When casting a line,

you have to be gentle, like with the clutch.

Right? Pull too hard,

you won't be able to get your car in gear.

Now, in this scenario, the car is the fish.

The hook is the gear. Or is that the other way around?

What the hell are you doing?