Trust

I mean, it's pretty dumb, but whatever.

Look at this.

Oh, my God, that's so pretty.

I love it. Thank you so much, Aunt Nicole.

Isn't it pretty, Brit?

Dad? More decaf?

So, you two. High school. That's pretty great.

I guess. It's gonna be sorta weird though.

Really?

Our school is Kind of a feeder for New Trier's.

So we're gonna know like a ton of people already.

Here, Annie.

Happy Birthday!

It's like the one you saw on The Hills, right?

I don't think The Hills are the role models we were looking for.

It's a bit revealing, don't you think?

She's fourteen, you guys.

Yeah, no need to remind me.

- So. You did great. - Mmm hmm!

Come on.

Come on what?

Give it to me.

What's she talking about?

It's a heavy box.

It's the new MacBook Pro.

It's got a four gigabyte hard drive

2.53 gigahertz proc...

What? I know what that means.

I think you're actually passing wind at this point.

Daddy.

It's getting late, Banannie.

Five more minutes, Dad, please? It's still my birthday.

All right. 11:15.

Promise.

Who are you talking to?

I'm chatting, Dad.

My friend Charlie from California.

He's a junior and plays volleyball for his high school.

Ooh, a junior. Well, he's obviously a very smart kid.

LOL. Laugh out loud. Right?

Nice one, Dad.

PWOMS?

"Parent watching over my shoulder."

And what is that?

"Laughing my ass off. Me too."

No, wait.

Dad, can you go talk to Mom about mortgage payments or something.

All right. Good night, birthday girl.

Good night. Love you.

Love you.

All right. Let's see what you got.

There you go, ladies. Touch the line.

Make sure you're touching the line.

Last one. You're almost there.

Hey, Annie, come here!

This is Serena.

So, you're Peter Cameron's little sister.

Your brother's hot as shit.

Uh, thanks, I guess.

So, I'm having a little party at my house Saturday night

and you, little Cameron, are invited.

Okay. Uh, thanks, Serena.

Tell your brother.

Is it deliberate?

No, not at all.

Hey, honey?

No phones at the table, please.

Sorry.

Katie, will you take a picture of me and Peter?

Hey, what did Mom just say?

I was just gonna send a photo to Charlie, but okay.

So, seriously, what's this guy's deal?

Well, he's smart. And funny.

His brother's being recruited by UC Berkeley for football

and that's where he wants to go, but for volleyball.

Oh, right. The girl's sport.

What do his parents do?

His mom teaches kids with autism

and his dad works for ESPN.

I don't know, sweetheart.

Sounds like he's got too much going for him for my likin'.

Hey.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

I'm looking at them right now.

These are definitely for a clothing company, right?

So why isn't anybody wearing a shirt?

No, I'm kidding. Yeah. They're good. Go with it. Okay. Bye.

Hi, Mom!

Hey, honey, how'd it go?

I made the team!

You did? That's great!

What happened?

Annie?

Come on. Where are you?

About time.

Hi, Charlie.

Where's mine, bozo?

What?

"I'm really 20. Sophomore at UC Berkeley."

What?

Twenty?

Bye.

Hello.

Wow.

Hi, girls. So did your brother come with?

No, he's packing for college.

Great. Looks like I wore these for nothing.

Come join us.

We're teaching Alexa how to give a blow job.

She sucks. She keeps gagging.

Serena, where's your bathroom?

We have like six of them. Go down the hall. You'll find one.

Hi, Dad.

Hey, sweetheart. You have a good time?

Mm-hm.

Those girls kinda freaked me out though.

Yeah?

I-I really want them to like me, you know?

It means a lot.

Just be yourself.

If the Serenas of the world don't like it, it's their loss.

No, it's high school, Dad.

If the Serenas of the world don't like me

I'm screwed. You get it?

Not really, no. Sorry, I've, I've really gotta...

Yeah, okay.

'Night.

'Night.

Is that Charlie?

Yeah, he has a big paper due tomorrow.

That picture he sent you is so hot. He's totally ripped.

Sh. Shut up. My mom.

I got donut holes.

They're very good. Here.

Who was that?

- It was Serena and Tanya. - Oh.

Get anything good?

Mm.

What?

She told me to buy a bra.

Oh, really? Let me see.

Classy.

- You saved the receipt though, right? - Mom.

If you think you're ready for a bra like that

then we'll talk about it, okay?

Serena kinda made fun of her sports bra.

- Why? - 'Cause it totally, like, flattens out my boobs.

She said that guys would think that I was hotter

if I, like, had a better bra.

Does, like, Serena say like all the time too?

Because, like, you never used to.

Sorry.

You don't have to dumb yourself down for guys, like Serena.

You know that.

Maybe she thinks that's all she's got to offer.

Her parents own half of downtown Chicago.

You get my point though, right?

Yes, Lynn.

It's a parking lot, moron. Go around!

Did you get my point?

Yeah, Mom. I get it.

Oh, for the love of...

- Bite me! - Mom!

Yeah, I'm gonna get the steak sandwich, medium, with grilled onions.

And can I get a side of chips, please?

Oh, I'm sorry, we don't...

He means French fries.

Twenty years here, he still can't say French fries.

I'm gonna have the same thing, actually, except rare on the steak.

And to drink, we'll have a bottle of...

Really?

'92 Rothschild.

Fantastic selection.

So what are we celebrating?

So A & A wants to use us. For everything.

- They liked the campaign? - Liked?

How 'bout I just got a phone call from the CEO

that was basically ten minutes of phone sex.

Hey, let me ask you something.

How old are you?

- Old enough. - Oh.

I'm Claire, by the way.

Hi, Claire. I'm Al.

- That's Will. - Hi.

Please let me know if there's anything else you need.

Anything?

Can you stop? She's nineteen.

One hour. That's all I ask.

Just one hour with that ass.

How's Barbara?

Oh, fuck off.

That is so weird.

Peter and I were just doing exactly the same thing in his room.

Ah, Dad.

Okay. What now?

What? How old are you?

Why do you keep lying?

What?

Why do you keep lying to me?

Man, you won't believe the stuff I'm finding in here.