All About the Benjamins

Shit!

Here, bunny.

Little rascal!

- Uh, what's up, doc? -Mr. Rabbit...

Bail enforcement! Lil J, don't you fuckin' move!

Listen, I can explain, OK? Let me explain it!

What the hell you watchin"?! Sit down!

OK. I was comin' down to see y'all today, OK?

I called my mom to give me a fuckin' lift...

'cause my bike broke down!

Yeah, tell it to Martinez!

He's used to hearin' that bullshit.

On your feet. Come on.

Hands on your head.

Don't get gitchy. Relax.

How about I just give you a little somethin', huh?

A little somethin' to make this go away, maybe?

Come on, Tyson. Fuckin' bounty hunters...

don't make no real cheese, anyway, do ya?

Get on the--

You ain't got no money, 'cause if you did...

you wouldn't live in a trailer park.

I ain't goin' back to fuckin' jail.

Oh, yeah. You goin'.

Baby!

Get off of my motherfuckin' boyfriend!

- Get out of my house! -Oh, shit!

Oh, shit!

You OK, baby? Get his ass, baby, get him!

Shoot that motherfucker!

Blast him! Blast that motherfucker!

I'll be goddamned!

Crazy ho!

Shit!

Got your ass now! Uh-huh, motherfucker!

Hands behind your back!

You're goin' to fuckin' jail!

Where is he?

I took him to County.

County?! I was supposed to take him to County.

You were supposed to take him to County?

Yeah.

I didn't hear that part.

Bucum, why is it every time I send you out on a job...

there are always gunshots reported?

Why is that?

Because people don't mind their own fuckin' business.

If they stay outta mine's...

you wouldn't hear gunshots reported.

Oh, that's very funny.

Sorry if I forgot to laugh...

but I've been on the phone for an hour...

and 27 minutes straight with Miami P.D...

-cleanin' up your shit. -And.7

What you want me to do? Start knockin' on the door?

"Hey, Martinez wanna holler at you.

"Come with me."

Or do you want me to go in and get 'em?

Oh, you get 'em. It's just how you get 'em.

Get you when I come out.

- Got it. -I'm talkin' to you!

You walkin' away from me?

Yeah. I've got to find the sports section.

Look at this, huh?

It's my second pack of cigarettes this morning...

and I just quit today.

Jesus Christ. Why do I even bother with this guy?

Hey, Pam, what's shakin'?

Nothin' but ass.

Did the Heat beat the Knicks last night?

The Heat lost by one point.

I put your little fish on your desk over there.

I heard you almost got shot again today.

Almost don't count.

You should have took me with you.

I could have had your back.

- Maybe next time. -Right.

Well, anyway, next time you decide...

you want to spend $600 on a fish...

why don't you just send me to St. Thomas...

and I can catch his little ass for you.

Change, please.

Don't make me mess up my nails.

Thank you, Pam.

It's a little short.

You know what you need, Bucum? A partner.

Somebody to help you apprehend these guys...

without shots being fired all the time.

Well, stop bullshittin' and put me on the payroll!

I can get some real bonds, maybe I can get a fuckin' Tonto.

You know I can't insure you. You're too high a risk.

I don't see nobody else in here...

bringin' Lil J in, so insured or not...

I'm the best nigga you got, so can lat least get paid?

Little more grip, little less lip.

You know what?

At these prices, man, I might have to...

go in business for myself.

Bucum P.l. firm ain't soundin' too bad right about now.

Ain't that right, Pam?

Yep...or you could win the lottery.

You know, it's up to $60 million right now.

And we got a pool goin' in my apartment complex.

I can get you in on it.

Black people don't win that shit.

You either gotta be old or Puerto Rican.

Here's your next rabbit.

He went shy on us four days ago.

Reggie Wright?

I done caught this motherfucker, like, three times already!

This nigga go to jail more than Robert Downey Jr.

What'd he do this time, man?

Same charge. Petty con man stuff.

He just never goes to court.

Oh, that's a $35,000 bond you got there...

which means you get a whole $3,500.

Oh, damn. Let me put that new Bentley...

I was lookin' at on layaway.

Bucum, I don't know what you're lookin' for here...

so you're gonna have to hit the lottery...

with Pam over there...

or stop buying $600 fuckin' fish...

that are gonna die in a week anyway...

and maybe you can put that Bentley on layaway, huh?

You know what, Martinez? Fuck what you're talking about.

It's a whole lot of money out there.

All I gotta do is put my name on it.

Fifty bucks'll get you sixty million.

Thank you, Pam.

When I quit, you gonna miss me.

Come on, Zo. I hate this fuckin' job.

You know what? I'm gonna be where I'm at.

There's somebody looking at us.

Oh, are these the ones we're lookin' for?

I believe so, but I left my glasses at home.

Maybe I can find somebody who--

what the hell are you lookin' at, dipshit?

Why don't you let us shop in peace?

Who you two little Spice Girls think y'all talkin' to?

You! you!

Y'all followin' me around this damn store...

you know what I'm sayin"?

I'm gonna get in line before I have to fuck one of y'all up.

That's right. Gang member.

You go get in line...

Poop do!!!

Oh! Good!

Oh, I'm sorry.

Mr. Sheldon, what's happenin'?

How many times am I gonna have to tell you...

don't open the potato chips until you pay for 'em!

You gonna have to tell me that all the time...

'cause I like potato chips.

Mr. Sheldon, why you sweatin' me, man?

I come in here all the time.

'Cause you're a nickel and dime hustler...

looking for the five-finger discount...

and I have to keep my eyes on you.

Then you know what? I'm a start goin' to Dwight's...

'cause you don't laugh at my jokes or nothin'.

- Dwight who? -D'wight around your lip.

No. I'm just kiddin', Mr. Sheldon.

Look, my woman gave me these numbers to play.

15...30...

37...38...

45...

47.

30

45, 47

Just hurry up. I got customers to serve here.

45, 4..

All right. How much I owe you?

7.50.

7.50.

It's 50, not 7.50.

Mr. Sheldon, man, I'm gonna kick your ass one day, man.

I seen you comin' out of the nursing home...

the other day. I started to--

I'm gonna quit comin' in here, man.

- Hater, man! -Later.

Hey, I seen you at the club...

pimpin' the other night, there, pimp.

Oh, excuse me!

Don't let me catch your skinny ass outside, do you hear me?

You know what? I just got out of the pen...

for some shit like this.

Come on, come on!

Let me get out. Y'all smell just like Geritol.

Could y'all move?!

You're still talkin' shit, bitch?

Y'all gonna get me fuckin' locked up!

Come on, over here.

How was that, Reggie?

Y'all put a little bit too much on it that time.

The next time, just cut back on the bullshit talk.

That way , the scam“ go smoother.

You know I know. I'm a thief.

Bless you, Reggie. Thank you so much!

Our check didn't come, and we needed a few extra things.

That's OK. I love you, Ms. Steinberg.