Episodes

I want your show on my network. What, us come to LA?

Let's talk about casting.

Well, we already have Julian committed to recreate the role of Lyman.

We got Matt LeBlanc!

Yeah!

You want me for the old fat guy's part? Thanks!

WE don't want you. Again, thanks!

Matt's been telling me about the changes for his character.

I love that he's a coach. We can call it Pucks!

Did I mention I hate this show?

I believe it's come up.

You're much more attractive than she is. You are. She's all plastic.

Those boobs...

Yuk.

You are a brilliant, brilliant writer.

You know what this is about!

Morning? Oh, my God!

Look, I have no interest in her at all!

Bev, stop! You're on the wrong side!

No, Sean, YOU'RE on the wrong side!

That's not what I meant!

Did you shag my wife?

She totally started it, OK. She was driving on the wrong side of the street.

So you fucked her?!

The thought that I was with him physically disgusts me.

I'm actually nauseated, it makes me want to vomit. All right!

Not to get too melodramatic, but I think...

you've broken my heart.

'We're a hit!'

What?

The test audiences loved Pucks! What are you saying?

I'm saying unpack those bloody bags, you've got some telly to make!

Woo hoo!

C'mon, what's going on?

Nothing, I'm fine.

Hey, listen, I'm not just your coach, I'm also your friend.

His dads are getting separated.

The gay dads? Right! Not his two straight dads.

OK...

One of my dads had an affair with a woman and now he's saying he's bi.

But my other dad says it's just a mid-life crisis.

Oh, and the woman he had the affair with is the surrogate whose egg they used to make... me.

Thoughts, Coach?

Cut!

Nice work today, everyone.

Check the gate.

Not bad.

I think that worked. The new boys are pretty good. Hmm...

What? The one with the hair.

Stoke.

Stoke! What kind of a parent names their child Stoke?

I know.

It's like saying you'd better be attractive, or it's all going to be ironic from here on in.

Well, as an actor, he's lucky he's cute.

Wait. Go like this... God, you've got a lot of teeth.

Right there. What? You've got a thing.

Hmm, poppy seed. Must be from my bagel this morning.

So that's been there all day, why didn't you tell me?!

I just told you. Yeah, now, after everyone's already seen it!

OK, put it back!

Night. Night.

Good job today. Thank you.

Yeah, nice work.

Nice underpants. Thanks.

Hey, do you guys ever drink coffee?

Cos this company sent me, like, a dozen free coffee makers.

Why?

I don't know. Who cares? They're free, you want one?

Oh, I'm all right. No thanks. Thank you.

So today went well? Absolutely.

You guys are happy? Very. Night.

Night.

I'll take a coffee maker. Did I ask you?

What are you thinking about for tonight?

I thought I'd have another go at that third scene.

Well, if you want to run it by me, I'll be home.

Flossing.

Right, well, have a nice night.

You too. See you tomorrow.

Hey!

You all right?

I'm great.

Don't look great.

Merc and I went ring shopping.

Oh my God!

For his wife.

He took you ring shopping for his wife?!

Mm-hm.

That sounds cruel, even for him.

It's their anniversary, and he knows he has terrible taste,

so he wanted me along to help him buy something pretty.

Oh, honey...

He's so good to her.

Well...

I found this really gorgeous ring.

And all the time I'm thinking, "The woman is blind!

"Buy ME a fucking ring and give her one of her old ones!

"How will she know?!"

And then I feel guilty for thinking that, like,

"Oh, I am this terrible person."

Really? We're gonna pull at THAT thread?

Sorry. No, I'M sorry.

Tonight's supposed to be about you.

OK, OK.

I'm here now.

I'm great! Let's celebrate.

Here is to Pucks!

Big premiere tomorrow night. Woo-hoo. Woo-hoo.

I've got to read a script later.

Want to make it hilarious?

Ooh, what's this?

It's for Sean...

And now you're thinking everyone's getting presents but you.

I didn't say it out loud.

It's his birthday. Our first one apart.

So, that'll be fun!

Aah. What d'you get him?

A watch. It's a vintage Breitling he's always wanted.

So he'll love that.

Or, he'll think it's way over the top and I'll come off as desperate and needy.

Or that.

I hate this. This is my husband!

Now it's like he's some boy who may or may not still like me.

Oh, fuck it!

Speaking from my own relationships,

a little "needy" isn't always a bad thing.

Really? I mean even though you might come off as kind of pathetic,

on a deeper level,

by being able to judge you, it allows him to feel empowered,

and a lot of men need that. So, it makes them love you more.

So basically, if I'm ever feeling like the craziest person on the planet,

I should just have dinner with you.

That's what I'm here for.

We're not even on the air yet and they're fucking killing us!

There's not one good one.

So stop reading them.

Jesus! What? The New York Post...

"Pucks! Sucks!"

Well, we just handed him that one.

What, that's the headline? "Pucks! Sucks!"?

Right. Then he goes on to say we're not clever.

Please. Stop. Do not do this to yourself.

Entertainment Weekly - "LeBlanc shoots a Le Blank."

Well, at least someone gave it some thought.

"It's hard to imagine how this show lasted four seasons in the UK."

Because it wasn't this show, arsehole!

Did you want me?

What?

No.

OK.

Oh wait, wait, here we go. Huffington Post.

"I was totally prepared to hate tonight's new comedy Pucks!

"Well the good news is, I was prepared."

Oh.

Why do they hate us?

Because they're idiots!

No!

So much rage. Why? It's just a little TV show.

It's not like we're punching Elmo, it's just a show!

Thank you! It's light, it's funny. Absolutely.

I mean, it's not brilliant... No. But is it "an exhausting rehash of '90s sitcom cliches

"with Matt LeBlanc digging into his old bag of tricks and coming up short"?

Hmmm.

Why d'you have to read that one?

It's like they can see into our souls.

I know.

Maybe we are "an uninspired placeholder until something actually funny comes along."

You've started memorising them?

Only the really, really bad ones.

Why did we do this?

Why didn't we just stay at home?

Right. Well, we should get to the writers' room.

Absolutely. Let's do it.

Probably best not telling anyone else about the reviews.

Right, because we're the only ones with the magic box.

Oooh! I see this guy's got you working the concessions stand.

She's great. Just don't ask her to make change.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Hi, kids. Big night. Very exciting!

Hello, you!

Popcorn?

Absolutely.

Butter?

Sure.

Here you go.

Yum. So, I saw your name in the paper today.

For that big "save the bees" thing?

Oh, it's so important.

In the last five years the worldwide honeybee population has just been decimated.

And people don't realise how essential they are for pollinating our fruits and vegetables.

And now 50 per cent of the hives are gone.

It's called "colony collapse disorder." Stop it!

Well, hopefully we can.

Yes.

Hey!

Our star has arrived.

Hello Matt. Popcorn?

Sure. And by the way, thanks so much, you guys, for doing this.

Very cool.