Going Clear: Scientology and the Prison of Belief

We will begin the session now.

You will remain aware of everything that goes on.

Okay.

We're going to find an incident in your life

You have an exact record of.

Then by sending you through it at the time it happened,

We're going to reduce it.

We will reduce the pain.

Go to the beginning of that incident.

Tell me what's happening.

Well, these things get all so...

I joined in 198--

It was a bunch of young kids, like i was young...

We were all very heated, very excited about this.

Can you recall a time when you were happy?

I think the first time i saw hubbard, and i was in awe...

We did, because you thought we were doing good.

I mean, so you had some gratification.

I felt a tremendous amount of relief.

I got the answers for everything

Within the religion.

What are you most afraid of?

It was dark. 3:00 in the morning,

There's a knock on the hotel-room door.

Stop! I'll say whatever you want,

I'll write up anything that you want.

I flipped out. I started punching holes in the walls.

Things didn't seem quite right.

And you just feel so foolish at that point.

Do you have a secret you're afraid i'll find out?

Yes. Yes.

Go to the beginning of that incident.

Okay, all right.

Tell me about it.

I was 21 years old,

Living in london, ontario, canada.

I wanted to be a documentary filmmaker.

And someone had told me

About what they called-- they said, "there's this cult

"in new york called scientology,"

Which i'd never heard of.

"and if you give them all your money,

"they'll make anything possible in your life."

And about six months later, i was walking down the street.

This guy was there selling books.

And i realized they were all the same book--

"dianetics,"

Which again, i had never heard of.

He handed me one and asked me to look at it.

He was talking. I wasn't really listening to him.

I opened the cover and it said--

Stamped on the inside page, it said "church of scientology."

And i said, "take me there."

All right. All right, here we go.

I'm not a great multitasker.

You know, and if i feel like doing something, that's what i do.

And, uh, i was into this shit,

And i was becoming an auditor.

Like, i was in scientology probably four months,

And i had done more than john travolta had done,

And he'd been there for 85 years or some shit.

My agents called, you know, "you got an audition."

"eh, fuck it, i don't really--" you know what i mean?

I was on-- i'm on a spiritual adventure,

And this was like, "whoa, this is an interesting road."

You know?

So, uh, what was the question?

So tell me, how was it you first got involved in scientology?

Well, i was introduced to it by some friends.

I don't know if they said it or if it was just talked about

By others that they had super powers.

And i-- i was, like, really young,

But i thought, "i'd like to have super powers!"

But also i had done so much...

Political-social work.

So this really looked like-- that it was a solution

To handling a lot of the world's problems.

Instead of trying to handle things en masse,

You could deal with it person by person,

Make each person better, and thus the world would get better and surer.

Well, thank you very much,

And welcome to our whole new world.

It's a world where the operative phrase reads...

"exceeding all expectations,

"transcending all parameters,

"extending the boundaries beyond any boundary,

"not to mention godspeed, lightning speed,

"and a quantum leap in sheer rapidity of progress up the bridge."

We're out to make every life extraordinary.

And if by chance it ever seems laborious or a sacrifice,

Then you are looking at the offramps instead of the highway.

You are missing the signpost up ahead,

The one that reads, "next stop, infinity."

Probably my favorite concept of scientology

Is a world without criminality,

A world without war, and a world without insanity.

And i know of no other group

That their goals are that clear.

Look, i don't-- you name me another philosophy,

Religion, or technology

That one of its main goals-- besides the three i mentioned earlier--

Where joy is the operative concept.

These are the times now, people.

Okay? These are the times we will all remember.

Were you there?

What did you do?

So what do you say? Can we clean this place up?

Yeah!

Okay. Because we're counting on you.

okay?

All right? To lrh!

Hip-hip-- Hooray!

Hip-hip-- Hooray!

Hip-hip-- Hooray!

Scientology is such a subject of fascination for people.

How did you get engaged in the story?

Well, i've always been interested in religions

And why people believe one idea rather than another.

I've studied jonestown, radical islam.

They're oftentimes good-hearted people--

Idealistic, but full of a kind of crushing certainty

That eliminates doubt.

You know, my goal wasn't to write an exposé.

It was simply to understand scientology,

Trying to understand what people get out of it.

You know, why do they go into it in the first place?

I was interested in intelligent and skeptical people

Who are drawn into a belief system

And wind up acting on those beliefs

In ways they never thought they would.

The church of scientology turned out to be

Two offices above a woolworth's store.

He asked me, "what's ruining your life?"

I said, "oh, i'm in love.

"i'm in love with this woman. It's impossible.

"i don't know what to do. I need some help."

And he said, "we can help you with that."

I said, "really?" "yes."

And i ran home and got her, and i said, "we have to sign up for this.

"it sounds really good. It could save our relationship."

So we both signed up the next day to do a course,

Which i think cost $50.

The thing that absolutely got me

And stayed with me forever

Was the very first thing i read when you open the course pack,

And it said-- i'm paraphrasing--

"don't believe any of this. If it works for you, great.

"if it doesn't, discard it."

I was troubled by the fact that they called it a religion,

But i figured, "oh, it's some tax scam. It's fine with me.

"i don't really care about that as long as it works."

The first exercise, after you do all this reading and stuff like that,

Is this thing called o-t-t-r-0,

Which is basically, you stand-- you sit

Just like this, eyes closed,

Three feet away from somebody who's doing the same thing,

And you basically confront them.

You know?

And in scientology lingo,

I went exterior.

Exteriorizing is what they call it.

You know, you leave your body.

So it was a... Transcendent experience for me.,

And that made me go, "holy fucking shit,

"this is-- wow."

I was reading books, going to lectures, and going to things--

Different events at the mission-- at the local santa clara mission.

And then i knew i wanted to join the sea org

And get really involved as soon as i could,

Which would be right out of high school.

Sea org is the most fraternal order of the organization.

It's people who really, really believe in the cause

And sign a billion-year contract,

Which i did when i was-- you know, as soon as i could.

I left skid marks getting to that billion-year contract.

You thought you were doing something good,

To have a positive effect on all of mankind.

That's what howard says.

Everything you do for endless trillions of years

Depends on what you do here and now within scientology.

I began to ask this question,

"what is man?" and i found, oddly enough,

That nobody could tell me what man was.

What did he consist of? Where was he going?

What was he doing?

To really know life, you've got to be part of life.

You must get down and look.

You must get into the nooks and crannies of existence,

The-- you have to rub elbows

With all kinds and types of men

Before you can finally establish what he is.

And you in fact did this?

Yes, i've slept with bandits in mongolia,

And i've hunted with, uh,

Pygmies in the philippines.

Matter of fact, i've studied 21 different primitive races,

Including the white race.

And my conclusions were

That man is a spiritual being

That was pulled down to the material,