For Worse

- -

[vintage film projector countdown beep]

["When U Love Somebody" by Fruit Bats playing]

- -

Congratulations. You did it.

Today is the day

we dissolve this beautiful

but failed marriage.

You're starting a new chapter.

Together.

Well, not together...

Apart.

I am just so...

proud

of you guys for arriving,

at this place,

peacefully in mediation. It's just wonderful.

But even under the best of circumstances,

divorce is still...

one of the most traumatic experiences

you will ever go through. It's a death, really.

It's not just the end of this couple,

it's the end of this family.

I mean, think of all the things you'll miss.

With shared custody,

you might not be there the first time

your daughter rides a bike. Her first date,

her first time mounting a horse.

My girl rides.

And then you are destined to have to share your child

with another woman.

Or another man.

Of course, that could be possible.

Or a woman.

Or you know, maybe you are bi.

Bi-curious, pan.

I'm not here to judge I'm, you know...

I'm here to avoid a judge.

Fascinating guy.

Ugh.

When did you start smoking again?

When we started divorcing.

- -Fuck. I cannot.

-You just... -What?

Here, it's better than you drinking again, I guess.

-Well, I'm not doing that. -Good.

Thank you. I don't smoke

-in front of Lucy, by the way. -You're welcome.

-Good. -Because I know you're already going to be like,

-"Don't smoke in front of Lucy." I don't. -Yeah. Don't.

-I don't. -Also, don't smoke in front of any men,

if you're looking to get a date or a boyfriend, because it's gross.

-You dated me. -How'd that turn out?

Sorry.

Um, I'm just gonna mention that on Sara's YouTube channel

there are some really good deep breathing exercises.

Uh, breath, relaxation, stress relief.

-Maybe instead of that? -Oh, your new girlfriend

has a YouTube channel to help me breathe?

-Yup. -

I am breathing.

Very deeply.

Okay.

I fucking hate this.

Fuck!

["Something's Wrong, Right?" by True Jackson playing]

["Serena Downtown" by Illusion Hills playing]

["Willy was a Whale" by Justin Roberts playing]

Hey, sweetie. What are you working on?

It's a list for you.

-For me? -Yep.

What is it?

"If you're not this, then never mind"?

What-- What is this?

Requirements for your new boyfriend.

-My new boyfriend? -Yeah.

Sara says if you want something,

you have to be really clear with your intentions

in order to manifest them.

Oh, okay.

And I really want you

-to have a boyfriend. - Why?

Because I don't want you to be alone.

I'm not going to be alone. I have you.

I know, but I won't be here all the time now,

and I want to make sure you have someone.

-Okay. -He has to like cats and dogs.

Mm-hmm. Wait, that... that could be hard.

Cats and dogs?

Has to be both. That's a deal-breaker.

- -Okay, but they don't

always like each other.

Hey. Oh.

Oh.

-Hey, Kate. - Hey.

Look what I'm making for my mom.

It's the stuff my mom's new boyfriend has to have.

It's an intentions list.

If you want something,

you have to see it really clearly first.

Cool. Well, will you make me one to take to grad school?

But I don't want you to go.

Sweetie, I'm gonna come back every summer, I promise.

I hate that everybody has to leave.

That's-- That's definitely true.

That happens when you get older.

But the cool thing is, they always come back.

-Oh, yay, macaroni! -Oh, yay!

Well, I guess I'll, um, go get ready.

Oh, please. Go have fun,

because we're gonna have a lot of fun, right?

- Yeah. -

You hold all the power in the universe.

This is good news.

Because that means you create your reality.

Are you kidding me?

- -It's on you.

Oh.

Hi.

Uh-oh. What's wrong?

I was just stalking my

ex's girlfriend on YouTube.

That's a good idea.

Why are you torturing yourself?

You know, I just thought I'd make this day even better.

Anyone whose job title is "influencer"

needs to be shot right between the eyes.

Lucy loves her.

That's bullshit. She loves you.

Right now, that...

What is her name? Who cares?

-Sara. -She's a shiny object, right?

She's gonna hate her eventually like the rest of us.

Well, I don't want her to hate her.

See, I know you. You've got to get your anger out,

'cause otherwise, you're gonna bottle it up inside

and start doing some crazy shit.

Crazy shit like starting an acting class

the day I signed my divorce papers,

like that crazy shit?

See, now, that is not crazy.

That is you, like, having a fresh start.

That's you going back to doing something that you loved

before you started adulting

and being a mommy and all that.

You used to be a pretty good actor.

Remember how great you were in Fiddler?

That was in high school.

I don't know. Miss Verona was like,

"Oh, my God, you're the best actor we've ever seen."

And you were like--

Stop.

I knew that would get you laughing.

I love you. Thank you.

I love you. Ride or die.

Ride or die.

Why?

Damn it!

Wonderful!, wonderful!

Thank you. Yes.

Do not get up.

No. No, no, no, no, no.

-You need... -

...to listen.

Listen.

Bad listening is bad acting.

I will not have it.

I just won't waste my time.

Mm.

I was just...

One thing I can't stand,

soft touch.

-Okay. -Uh-huh.

You want my attention?